5 ms·

The Science of Passionate Sex

106 points by indescions_2017 9y ago

phkahler 9y ago
Is the actual paper available or just the abstract?
- sixhobbits 9y ago
  If you paste the title into SciHub[0] you'll get the PDF [0] http://sci-hub.cc/ http://sci-hub.cc/
- sillysaurus3 9y ago
  PDF: http://sci-hub.cc/10.1037/pspp0000116 http://sci-hub.cc/10.1037/pspp0000116
indescions_2017 9y ago
Sorry, paywall'd. Will post link to actual paper when available. Companion article from Scientific American: The Science of Passionate Sex https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-science-of-passionate-sex/ https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-sci...
sauronlord 9y ago
Want to know how to have passionate sex? 1. Be attractive 2. Be very fit 3. Be attractive
ahussain 9y ago
Anyone think we've maybe gone a little too far with the scientific method when we start seeing headlines like this. (I'm sure the paper itself is very good - the title just amused me)
- amelius 9y ago
  The real title of the paper is "Understanding the Cognitive and Motivational Underpinnings of Sexual Passion From a Dualistic Model".
overcast 9y ago
Here's the science for you all. The key to passionate sex is actually caring about the person you're having sex with. Hooking up on Tinder isn't going to give you that.
- user5994461 9y ago
  Caring and hooking up on Tinder are not mutually exclusive.
  - overcast 9y ago
    There is no way I am at any level of caring for someone, after just meeting them. That's just impossible.
    - Max_Mustermann 9y ago
      Not caring at even the basic level strikes me as a lack of empathy.
    - waterhouse 9y ago
      It is possible to, say, care about some archetype, and then perceive that archetype in a person you've recently met, and apply your feelings to them. There are people that find it easy to fall deeply in love quickly. I think this is what goes on in their heads.
    - wolfram74 9y ago
      Perhaps you are a very cautious person, that's your prerogative. What about that statement makes you think it applies equally to everyone else?
- Mahn 9y ago
  The other person should care for you, too (for passionate sex to take place, that is).
  - overcast 9y ago
diskandar69 9y ago
and before we could even care about that person, we have to care about ourself first :) .. to love ourself first. and I think ways to love ourself, and this is where it kind of get in full circle: - surround ourselves with love (caring people) - take care of our body, exercise daily and not too over exercise - not to over eat - and have sex with your love one :)
ryanmarsh 9y ago
This is like a short ad for NoFap. Short on details. Should have explained factors that contribute to obsessive or harmonious sexuality. Not really much one can do with this article.
wvh 9y ago
This article feels like it has been written by my wife, telling me I'm a primitive horny male. I was hoping on a bit more science and less talk about harmony, wellness, wholesomeness, totality of being and other intangible concepts. While not bad advice for many, as a straight-forward male, I'm not sure what to do with advice such as accept your sexuality and be more open. The most important factor is that both people care for sex to be good, though I don't agree that both people might be looking for the exact same thing; being able to give each other what each wants without giving up your own needs and desires is probably the hard part.
fundabulousrIII 9y ago
To be absolutely honest I gave up on the idea of really good sex after 45. Enjoy your twenties and thirties. If you are in good shape in your 40's and aren't terribly experienced, ok..you may have some good sex. My definition of good sex is uninhibited and athletic with a committed emotional component. There is a 'spiritual' aspect to sex that I have not experienced much but that is because it seemed laborious and counter-intuitive.
- wsc981 9y ago
  "There is a 'spiritual' aspect to sex that I have not experienced much but that is because it seemed laborious and counter-intuitive." Just wanted to say this sentence made me smile :)
- srrge 9y ago
  I am 42 and having the best sex of my life with my wife married 16 years ago. The book The Enlightened Sex Manual [0] is a great ressource on that matter. TL;DR of the book: ejaculate less often, be more awake during sex. [0] https://www.amazon.fr/Enlightened-Sex-Manual-Sexual-Superior/dp/1591795850 https://www.amazon.fr/Enlightened-Sex-Manual-Sexual-Superior...
  - fundabulousrIII 9y ago
    If I married a woman 15 years younger than me and then kept the interpersonal tension high it would probably be great sex when it happened. I don't care for the drama and the WTF 'gtfo' nights when you are involved at that level. The whole ejaculate less and be more awake thing I can scarcely contemplate seriously. If all it comes down to is satisfying your partner while wide eyed and eager for 'great sex' you are sadly mistaken and won't convince anyone other than sad sacks looking for formula.
noobiemcfoob 9y ago
Who needs passionate sex when I have my lovely python?
johnnysnow 9y ago
There are lots of ways to create a passionate sexual response in the human animal. https://hypnosisfetish.com https://hypnosisfetish.com [NSFW]

Is the actual paper available or just the abstract?

sixhobbits 9y ago
If you paste the title into SciHub[0] you'll get the PDF [0] http://sci-hub.cc/ http://sci-hub.cc/
sillysaurus3 9y ago
PDF: http://sci-hub.cc/10.1037/pspp0000116 http://sci-hub.cc/10.1037/pspp0000116

indescions_2017 9y ago

Sorry, paywall'd. Will post link to actual paper when available. Companion article from Scientific American: The Science of Passionate Sex https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-science-of-passionate-sex/ https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-sci...

sauronlord 9y ago

Want to know how to have passionate sex? 1. Be attractive 2. Be very fit 3. Be attractive

ahussain 9y ago

Anyone think we've maybe gone a little too far with the scientific method when we start seeing headlines like this. (I'm sure the paper itself is very good - the title just amused me)

amelius 9y ago
The real title of the paper is "Understanding the Cognitive and Motivational Underpinnings of Sexual Passion From a Dualistic Model".

overcast 9y ago

Here's the science for you all. The key to passionate sex is actually caring about the person you're having sex with. Hooking up on Tinder isn't going to give you that.

user5994461 9y ago
Caring and hooking up on Tinder are not mutually exclusive.
- overcast 9y ago
  There is no way I am at any level of caring for someone, after just meeting them. That's just impossible.
  - Max_Mustermann 9y ago
    Not caring at even the basic level strikes me as a lack of empathy.
  - waterhouse 9y ago
    It is possible to, say, care about some archetype, and then perceive that archetype in a person you've recently met, and apply your feelings to them. There are people that find it easy to fall deeply in love quickly. I think this is what goes on in their heads.
  - wolfram74 9y ago
    Perhaps you are a very cautious person, that's your prerogative. What about that statement makes you think it applies equally to everyone else?
Mahn 9y ago
The other person should care for you, too (for passionate sex to take place, that is).
- overcast 9y ago

diskandar69 9y ago

and before we could even care about that person, we have to care about ourself first :) .. to love ourself first. and I think ways to love ourself, and this is where it kind of get in full circle: - surround ourselves with love (caring people) - take care of our body, exercise daily and not too over exercise - not to over eat - and have sex with your love one :)

ryanmarsh 9y ago

This is like a short ad for NoFap. Short on details. Should have explained factors that contribute to obsessive or harmonious sexuality. Not really much one can do with this article.

wvh 9y ago

This article feels like it has been written by my wife, telling me I'm a primitive horny male. I was hoping on a bit more science and less talk about harmony, wellness, wholesomeness, totality of being and other intangible concepts. While not bad advice for many, as a straight-forward male, I'm not sure what to do with advice such as accept your sexuality and be more open. The most important factor is that both people care for sex to be good, though I don't agree that both people might be looking for the exact same thing; being able to give each other what each wants without giving up your own needs and desires is probably the hard part.

fundabulousrIII 9y ago

To be absolutely honest I gave up on the idea of really good sex after 45. Enjoy your twenties and thirties. If you are in good shape in your 40's and aren't terribly experienced, ok..you may have some good sex. My definition of good sex is uninhibited and athletic with a committed emotional component. There is a 'spiritual' aspect to sex that I have not experienced much but that is because it seemed laborious and counter-intuitive.

wsc981 9y ago
"There is a 'spiritual' aspect to sex that I have not experienced much but that is because it seemed laborious and counter-intuitive." Just wanted to say this sentence made me smile :)
srrge 9y ago
I am 42 and having the best sex of my life with my wife married 16 years ago. The book The Enlightened Sex Manual [0] is a great ressource on that matter. TL;DR of the book: ejaculate less often, be more awake during sex. [0] https://www.amazon.fr/Enlightened-Sex-Manual-Sexual-Superior/dp/1591795850 https://www.amazon.fr/Enlightened-Sex-Manual-Sexual-Superior...
- fundabulousrIII 9y ago
  If I married a woman 15 years younger than me and then kept the interpersonal tension high it would probably be great sex when it happened. I don't care for the drama and the WTF 'gtfo' nights when you are involved at that level. The whole ejaculate less and be more awake thing I can scarcely contemplate seriously. If all it comes down to is satisfying your partner while wide eyed and eager for 'great sex' you are sadly mistaken and won't convince anyone other than sad sacks looking for formula.

noobiemcfoob 9y ago

Who needs passionate sex when I have my lovely python?

johnnysnow 9y ago

There are lots of ways to create a passionate sexual response in the human animal. https://hypnosisfetish.com https://hypnosisfetish.com [NSFW]