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Given the choice of having a father at home or have one dead in cave but famous for exploring cool places I don't think it's hard to guess what most children

by rdtsc 9y ago

Given the choice of having a father at home or have one dead in cave but famous for exploring cool places I don't think it's hard to guess what most children would pick. > The good news is that once you become a father, you'll get to decide (possibly with a partner) what the acceptable level of risk is for you and your family. That's a obvious. What I think is being questioned is if they made a good decision. In other I can freely decide not to strap my kid in a car seat but that doesn't mean I won't get a ticket or my child won't be seriously injured or worse in a car accident.

Mz 9y ago
You are assuming he is a good father. Capacity to reproduce in no way whatsoever guarantees that one is any good with kids.
andrewfong 9y ago
> Given the choice of having a father at home or have one dead in cave but famous for exploring cool places I don't think it's hard to guess what most children would pick. Not that it necessarily changes the argument, but the "choice" is probabilistic. That is, it isn't father at home vs. dead, but "probably boring dad but most likely alive" vs. "maybe famous dad but some chance of death".
- aesh2Xa1 9y ago
  That doesn't sound right. How many cave-going dads are there that you could make the claim? And do a majority of kids believe their fathers are boring? I just don't buy it. And is taking a risk like this the best way to be "not boring?" Definitely don't buy it. You can have fun and be adventurous without taking heavy risks. It's fair to say that someone who continues to put himself at harm is foolish in one capacity or another.
  - throwawaycanada 9y ago
    I don't think it is possible in the literal sense to have adventure without risk.
    - irrational 9y ago
      Maybe it depends on your definition of adventure or risk. I went to an escape room recently for the first time. I considered that to be an adventure for me. But I never felt like I was taking a risk.
    - ajuc 9y ago
      The risk may be: waste of time, inconvenience, being stuck in an awkward social situation. Not always death. I'd say taking a sabatical, walking the country asking strangers personal or "deep" questions is an adventure and a risky one, yet you don't risk your life more than by just commuting to work. I guess risks depend on the country, but are comparable.
  - harperlee 9y ago
    I think the grandfather post is mainly saying that not thinking this through a lense of risk and reward, that can end up giving kids some good outcome is an error (and for sure having a happy father IS better than a depressive one, so if the cave diving risk is sufficiently low, then it makes sense to do it). This line of thought is also probably similar to what that guy thought (to think it is worth the risk to live like that). In that case, you have a slope of risk that starts reasonably and ends up unacceptable, but where you can't easily pinpoint where to draw the line. Whether you "buy" the simple causal graph that he used as an example is a minor point.
pragone 9y ago
> Given the choice of having a father at home or have one dead in cave but famous for exploring cool places I don't think it's hard to guess what most children would pick. In all seriousness, I do have a hard time guessing which one most children would pick. I can see reasonable arguments made on either side. Personally, I think it would be far more inspiring to have a father who died pursuing his passion, then one who gave it up to stay at home.
- laumars 9y ago
  Depends on the kid, their age and their relationship with their father. I don't think there is any right generalized answer. With my kids I know they would rather have me around, but they are young so I'm already "superman" to them. Who knows how our relationship will change as they grow older.
  - Leslie54 9y ago
    After my wife walked out leaving me with two kids, I had no good job to be able to take care of me and the two kids. But this paid surveys at home has been a great assistance to me since then [Check Details Here⇒>►►►https://sites.google.com/site/sandralopz78/ https://sites.google.com/site/sandralopz78/ I have been able to overcome all the financial challenges that single mum usually have
  - irrational 9y ago
    As they go through their teenage years you will get stupider and lamer in their eyes. Then sometime after they move out they will realize that you are actually quite intelligent and will, at some point, apologize for being an ass and tell you that they are proud of you. At least that was my experience with my parents and has been my experience with my kids so far.
    - test1235 9y ago
      Again, that is a generalization. Being a father doesn't automatically make a person intelligent or good.

by rdtsc 9y ago

Mz 9y ago

You are assuming he is a good father. Capacity to reproduce in no way whatsoever guarantees that one is any good with kids.

andrewfong 9y ago

> Given the choice of having a father at home or have one dead in cave but famous for exploring cool places I don't think it's hard to guess what most children would pick. Not that it necessarily changes the argument, but the "choice" is probabilistic. That is, it isn't father at home vs. dead, but "probably boring dad but most likely alive" vs. "maybe famous dad but some chance of death".

aesh2Xa1 9y ago
That doesn't sound right. How many cave-going dads are there that you could make the claim? And do a majority of kids believe their fathers are boring? I just don't buy it. And is taking a risk like this the best way to be "not boring?" Definitely don't buy it. You can have fun and be adventurous without taking heavy risks. It's fair to say that someone who continues to put himself at harm is foolish in one capacity or another.
- throwawaycanada 9y ago
  I don't think it is possible in the literal sense to have adventure without risk.
  - irrational 9y ago
    Maybe it depends on your definition of adventure or risk. I went to an escape room recently for the first time. I considered that to be an adventure for me. But I never felt like I was taking a risk.
  - ajuc 9y ago
    The risk may be: waste of time, inconvenience, being stuck in an awkward social situation. Not always death. I'd say taking a sabatical, walking the country asking strangers personal or "deep" questions is an adventure and a risky one, yet you don't risk your life more than by just commuting to work. I guess risks depend on the country, but are comparable.
- harperlee 9y ago
  I think the grandfather post is mainly saying that not thinking this through a lense of risk and reward, that can end up giving kids some good outcome is an error (and for sure having a happy father IS better than a depressive one, so if the cave diving risk is sufficiently low, then it makes sense to do it). This line of thought is also probably similar to what that guy thought (to think it is worth the risk to live like that). In that case, you have a slope of risk that starts reasonably and ends up unacceptable, but where you can't easily pinpoint where to draw the line. Whether you "buy" the simple causal graph that he used as an example is a minor point.

pragone 9y ago

> Given the choice of having a father at home or have one dead in cave but famous for exploring cool places I don't think it's hard to guess what most children would pick. In all seriousness, I do have a hard time guessing which one most children would pick. I can see reasonable arguments made on either side. Personally, I think it would be far more inspiring to have a father who died pursuing his passion, then one who gave it up to stay at home.

laumars 9y ago
Depends on the kid, their age and their relationship with their father. I don't think there is any right generalized answer. With my kids I know they would rather have me around, but they are young so I'm already "superman" to them. Who knows how our relationship will change as they grow older.
- Leslie54 9y ago
  After my wife walked out leaving me with two kids, I had no good job to be able to take care of me and the two kids. But this paid surveys at home has been a great assistance to me since then [Check Details Here⇒>►►►https://sites.google.com/site/sandralopz78/ https://sites.google.com/site/sandralopz78/ I have been able to overcome all the financial challenges that single mum usually have
- irrational 9y ago
  As they go through their teenage years you will get stupider and lamer in their eyes. Then sometime after they move out they will realize that you are actually quite intelligent and will, at some point, apologize for being an ass and tell you that they are proud of you. At least that was my experience with my parents and has been my experience with my kids so far.
  - test1235 9y ago
    Again, that is a generalization. Being a father doesn't automatically make a person intelligent or good.