5 ms·

I am white and male and the misogyny I've observed in tech has annoyed me. If it annoys me it must be intolerable to women. I believe every word of it and I cou

by api 9y ago

I am white and male and the misogyny I've observed in tech has annoyed me. If it annoys me it must be intolerable to women. I believe every word of it and I could tell a few stories of things I've seen. I've seen a lot of other kinds of assholery too. Tech has an underbelly just like any other major industry. FWIW I've heard Hollywood and Wall St. are worse.

rokhayakebe 9y ago
Tell one.
- jacquesm 9y ago
  I'll tell you one. A bank I worked at in the mid 80's had one woman working on a floor in a fairly separate building away from the main building. That one woman had to endure pretty much constant harassment from two guys who were technically her superior and their boss didn't lift a finger to stop it. I made a good bit of noise about it to HR and then she begged me to stop because she was afraid they'd let her go. The two guys that did this (Koert Borst and Jos Haarsma, I sincerely hope they read this, assuming they are still alive) were crossing so many lines in their behavior I lost count. Fortunately I only worked in that department (systems administration) for about a year before landing a job at the computer center which was far away from the main offices. Assholes would be too friendly a term to describe those two, it was downright sadistic how they enjoyed harassing her until she cried.
  - kelukelugames 9y ago
    I want to play! One of the West Point/Sloan MBAs, Chip, showed his dick to a recruiter. One of my lawyer friends had a hiring manager show his dick to her. I've been in tech for a decade and haven't met anyone who has been exposed to a dick in person.
- michaelchisari 9y ago
  This is a small thing, but I have multiple friends who routinely had Linkedin requests that resulted in date requests. Having to constantly reset professional relationships back to where they should be is something I, as a guy, have never had to deal with. This is the low tier stuff, and it's still, in my mind, totally unacceptable. There's bigger stuff I'm not comfortable talking about in an open forum. A couple of the people I have in mind have given up on the tech scene and moved on elsewhere.
wnoise 9y ago
Then tell the stories. Don't repeat third hand rumors of other industries as whataboutism.
vostok 9y ago
Have worked on Wall Street. It's not worse.
- nostrademons 9y ago
  I'd question that. My wife is a former bond trader. At one point, the guys on her trading desk took her out to drinks, and one asked her, "So, are you still a virgin?" She was about 25 at the time.
  - morgante 9y ago
    Why is her age relevant? It's not an appropriate question for a colleague anyway, but I'm curious why that would make it worse.
    - onion2k 9y ago
      Why is her age relevant? Asking a woman who's 25 if she's still a virgin is a clearly loaded question - if she says yes then she's admitting to be inexperienced and should sleep with the the 'man' asking in order to learn the ways of the world, and if she says no then she's admitting that she's sexually active and therefore willing to sleep with a 'man' like the one asking the question. Creepy assholes use this sort of tactic because they get off on making someone else feel bad. If you see it you really should call them out.
      - morgante 9y ago
        Oh, I agree it's super creepy and would call out any colleague who I saw doing it. I just think it's creepy regardless of her age.
    - nostrademons 9y ago
      It's context. The scenario plays out differently in most peoples' heads if said to a 40-year old veteran of the industry vs. a 25-year-old new hire vs. a 19-year-old intern. I'd agree that it's inappropriate for all of them, but it's inappropriate in different ways.
kchoudhu 9y ago
The one sexual harassment case I saw on Wall Street in the decade I worked there was dealt with viciously by HR, in favor of the victim. My network informs me that similar efficiency exists across the Street. I'd encourage any women skeezed out by SV to apply for Wall Street jobs: more cash, less groping.
- greggman 9y ago
  When I saw Wolf of Wall Street I couldn't believe the in office orgies shown. I was like "How don't people get sued". I brought that up with friends in finance and they basically said "oh the stories I could tell" and they were referring to their current jobs. So apparently that does happen on Wall Street as well?
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]

by api 9y ago

rokhayakebe 9y ago

Tell one.

jacquesm 9y ago
I'll tell you one. A bank I worked at in the mid 80's had one woman working on a floor in a fairly separate building away from the main building. That one woman had to endure pretty much constant harassment from two guys who were technically her superior and their boss didn't lift a finger to stop it. I made a good bit of noise about it to HR and then she begged me to stop because she was afraid they'd let her go. The two guys that did this (Koert Borst and Jos Haarsma, I sincerely hope they read this, assuming they are still alive) were crossing so many lines in their behavior I lost count. Fortunately I only worked in that department (systems administration) for about a year before landing a job at the computer center which was far away from the main offices. Assholes would be too friendly a term to describe those two, it was downright sadistic how they enjoyed harassing her until she cried.
- kelukelugames 9y ago
  I want to play! One of the West Point/Sloan MBAs, Chip, showed his dick to a recruiter. One of my lawyer friends had a hiring manager show his dick to her. I've been in tech for a decade and haven't met anyone who has been exposed to a dick in person.
michaelchisari 9y ago
This is a small thing, but I have multiple friends who routinely had Linkedin requests that resulted in date requests. Having to constantly reset professional relationships back to where they should be is something I, as a guy, have never had to deal with. This is the low tier stuff, and it's still, in my mind, totally unacceptable. There's bigger stuff I'm not comfortable talking about in an open forum. A couple of the people I have in mind have given up on the tech scene and moved on elsewhere.

wnoise 9y ago

Then tell the stories. Don't repeat third hand rumors of other industries as whataboutism.

vostok 9y ago

Have worked on Wall Street. It's not worse.

nostrademons 9y ago
I'd question that. My wife is a former bond trader. At one point, the guys on her trading desk took her out to drinks, and one asked her, "So, are you still a virgin?" She was about 25 at the time.
- morgante 9y ago
  Why is her age relevant? It's not an appropriate question for a colleague anyway, but I'm curious why that would make it worse.
  - onion2k 9y ago
    Why is her age relevant? Asking a woman who's 25 if she's still a virgin is a clearly loaded question - if she says yes then she's admitting to be inexperienced and should sleep with the the 'man' asking in order to learn the ways of the world, and if she says no then she's admitting that she's sexually active and therefore willing to sleep with a 'man' like the one asking the question. Creepy assholes use this sort of tactic because they get off on making someone else feel bad. If you see it you really should call them out.
    - morgante 9y ago
      Oh, I agree it's super creepy and would call out any colleague who I saw doing it. I just think it's creepy regardless of her age.
  - nostrademons 9y ago
    It's context. The scenario plays out differently in most peoples' heads if said to a 40-year old veteran of the industry vs. a 25-year-old new hire vs. a 19-year-old intern. I'd agree that it's inappropriate for all of them, but it's inappropriate in different ways.

kchoudhu 9y ago

The one sexual harassment case I saw on Wall Street in the decade I worked there was dealt with viciously by HR, in favor of the victim. My network informs me that similar efficiency exists across the Street. I'd encourage any women skeezed out by SV to apply for Wall Street jobs: more cash, less groping.

greggman 9y ago
When I saw Wolf of Wall Street I couldn't believe the in office orgies shown. I was like "How don't people get sued". I brought that up with friends in finance and they basically said "oh the stories I could tell" and they were referring to their current jobs. So apparently that does happen on Wall Street as well?

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]