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> Form good unconditional friendships and your happiness will exceed to new heights. I think human relationships come with conditions. If there is not some rec

> Form good unconditional friendships and your happiness will exceed to new heights. I think human relationships come with conditions. If there is not some reciprocation of affection, support, time, kindness, etc, then what you have is not a positive relationship, usually for either side, though they may not see it. I think we see good relationships as "unconditional" because the reciprocation comes easily and without calculation, but there are still conditions.

mod 9y ago
Sure, sort-of. I can't kill my best friend's wife and expect to maintain his friendship. So that's a condition. It's unconditional when it doesn't feel like there are conditions, and when your friend doesn't require anything extra of you beyond the things you do. If you just want to argue some petty semantics, then your point stands.
- stinkytaco 9y ago
  Well, I was with you until "petty semantics". I suspect most of us have seen a relationship that is toxic. Relationships where one person carries the emotional weight. Both parties might even think everything is ok, though usually one party feels the burden. If you are going to tell me "that's not a friendship", I would argue that's petty semantics. It's incumbent on all of us to evaluate our relationships and make sure we're doing our part and not being either the one taken advantage of or the one taking advantage. Indeed, I would argue the "conditions" are what makes it a friendship and that being aware of those conditions is actually pretty healthy. As I matured I found myself noticing a number of my relationships were not healthy. Without that self-reflection, I think I might be much worse off today.
- nostrebored 9y ago
  Unconditional friendship is shit. Your friends who are unconditional friends are not good friends. If you value your temporary happiness over personal growth, and friends who will help you become a better person, then you are chasing a false sense of self worth. Do you really want to feel artificially good about yourself by surrounding yourself with `yes men`? Sometimes your friends will make you feel bad, and that's okay. Sometimes you should feel bad.
  - mod 9y ago
    When my friends make me feel bad, they're still my friends. (Speaking for myself)

mod 9y ago

Sure, sort-of. I can't kill my best friend's wife and expect to maintain his friendship. So that's a condition. It's unconditional when it doesn't feel like there are conditions, and when your friend doesn't require anything extra of you beyond the things you do. If you just want to argue some petty semantics, then your point stands.

stinkytaco 9y ago
Well, I was with you until "petty semantics". I suspect most of us have seen a relationship that is toxic. Relationships where one person carries the emotional weight. Both parties might even think everything is ok, though usually one party feels the burden. If you are going to tell me "that's not a friendship", I would argue that's petty semantics. It's incumbent on all of us to evaluate our relationships and make sure we're doing our part and not being either the one taken advantage of or the one taking advantage. Indeed, I would argue the "conditions" are what makes it a friendship and that being aware of those conditions is actually pretty healthy. As I matured I found myself noticing a number of my relationships were not healthy. Without that self-reflection, I think I might be much worse off today.
nostrebored 9y ago
Unconditional friendship is shit. Your friends who are unconditional friends are not good friends. If you value your temporary happiness over personal growth, and friends who will help you become a better person, then you are chasing a false sense of self worth. Do you really want to feel artificially good about yourself by surrounding yourself with `yes men`? Sometimes your friends will make you feel bad, and that's okay. Sometimes you should feel bad.
- mod 9y ago
  When my friends make me feel bad, they're still my friends. (Speaking for myself)