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Self-Compassion Works Better Than Self-Esteem
- octygen 9y agoAs my psychotherapist put it yesterday: people that seek self-esteem in an unhealthy way are vampires. "You have to become your own bloodsource" she said. When you seek self-esteem in an unhealthy way, you do things to get approval/validation from others. You'll suck some blood from girls who like you, suck some blood from jobs you apply for that want you, tell friends about all the high-end interviews you have and the cool things you're doing. But after you've gotten what you need from the girls, the jobs, the friends, you realize you never really wanted any of them. And that you wasted your time in the process when you should seek what YOUR OWN PATH is. Self-compassion/kindness is when you become your own sustainable bloodsource of self-esteem and it is critical for your survival and success.
- Lambdanaut 9y agoI've seen that theme in music before > The Mountain Goats - Damn These Vampires > Bright Eyes - Devil Town
- TheHegemon 9y agoAlso see: > Atreyu - The Crimson
- hithereagain 9y agoThe song Devil Town was written by Daniel Johnston, whose work you might enjoy. Bright Eyes certainly did a solid version of it!
- justinator 9y agoDevil Town is indeed a fine piece of American Music par-excellence. But, I wouldn't read metaphor into it. I believe Johnston was talking about actual vampires living in Devil Town. Johnston suffers from some mental imbalances, and is also very religious. Devil Town would literally be where the Devil would be living. If there's a metaphor, he is talking about living in a world of sin, brought on be people who have been enchanted by the Devil. But anyways, amazing song, AMAZING artist - one of my favorites. And yes, love yourself.
- theoh 9y agoIn many ways this "theory"/theme corresponds to the behaviour observed in clinical narcissism. It's generally not healthy, though, IMO, to think with the vampire metaphor.
- hinkley 9y agoI don't know what's going on here, but I think you should start bringing garlic to your sessions, just in case.
- throwway390 9y agoGP's post reminds me that I fail to understand how people can come out and say they want their kids to be in tech like them. Just go through a few article titles: death, loneliness, diseases, therapy, antidepressants, OCD... Do you really want to put your kid in an environment like this, deny him the chance of enjoying life like a normal person?
- taway_1212 9y agoIs this stuff less prevalent in other fields? In tech, you never realistically need to worry about money or losing your job (as it is so easy to find another) - most people don't have this comfort. IMO tech is an excellent career. Just don't become a big spender so that you have to work till your sixties.
- nostrebored 9y agoIt is more prevalent. People in tech also work long hours, have "side projects" aka somewhat expected unpaid work, are unhealthy, seem to not exercise, play video games too much, watch too much tv... the list goes on
- pinneycolton 9y agoIs it more prevalent because we have hard data showing it is, or do we think it is more prevalent because we typically speak with more people in tech because we're in tech and have more experience with them? I am now a few years post-divorce and in a relationship with a wonderful future wife v2.0, and I will be the first to tell you that my perspective on others', careers, and behavior patterns has changed significantly because I'm exposed to a very different slice of American culture than I was with wife v1.0. You'll find similarities where you didn't expect to find them. The same is true of differences.
- agumonkey 9y agoOr maybe just rephrase the self esteem thing. The innate desire to fit some imaginary view, feeling not good enough until X happens, or Y likes you. <= What is the source of that emotion, that silent fear that make you run after ghosts. I'm still a bit like that, very often I did things for wrong reasons, validation. My brain was very efficient and very pleasuring when seeking mental complexity, appearing smart; but socially inept to interact emotionnaly with people in sane honest ways. A fun problem.
- contingencies 9y agoNo disrespect intended, but this is so American someone should use it as an academic linguistics example of culture-specific communication! (eg. psychotherapy, negative third party social group stereotyping, pop culture references, second person framing of self-help advice as casual banter, capitalia, shameless and fundamentally American reformation of compassion in an ego-linked context...)
- TJ-14 9y agoCan you explain what your comment means?
- contingencies 9y agoNo disrespect intended Please don't take this the wrong way. this is so American I felt that the commenter was expressing themselves in a way that was particularly unique to Americans. someone should use it as an academic linguistics example of culture-specific communication! I believe the example is of such a high quality that it would be useful in an academic context (ie. college/university courses) as an example of communications made within one culture that are unique to that culture versus other cultures speaking the very same language, ie. people born in Scotland or New Zealand would generally never communicate in this way. The examples list arguably American cultural traits present in the paragraph. (Edit to explain points: 'psychotherapy' = more prevalent in US culture, 'negative third party social group stereotyping' = ~all those people are <negative-something>, 'pop culture references' = vampires, 'second person framing of self-help advice as casual banter' = grammatical form where "you gotta X", or "you should Y", or "when you X you Y!", 'capitalia' = THIS BIT IS GRATING, 'reformation of compassion in an ego-linked context' = compassion for self, which is fundamentally juxtaposed to traditional not-self usage as linked to eastern meditative traditions (vipassana, etc.) and where increased egocentrism is widely considered a quintessentially American cultural trait).
- SkyMarshal 9y agoYou explained all the obvious parts. Now explain what everything in that list means.
- erwnerve 9y ago> Self-compassion/kindness is when you become your own sustainable bloodsource of self-esteem and it is critical for your survival and success. I think this is the opposite of what the article was saying. The article says that instead of looking for "self-esteem" from your successes (and avoiding failures), you should stop chasing self-esteem altogether, and instead choose self-compassion. > it is critical for your survival and success I think the article is trying to say "It's okay not to succeed, go easy on yourself."
- Allower 9y agoarbitrary distinctions FTW
- meesterdude 9y agoReading this stuff is always eye opening for me. but actually making it a part of your thinking and perspective is a whole other ball of wax. Often, I end up just forgetting entirely as the days pass - not the content, because I can often recite that upon demand. But the actual adoption of it into ones own mindset. Very often, I've found myself going "oh yeah, i'm trying to do that!". Along with several other things as well. this is largely what drove me to build my project to adopt such changes in perspective (http://willyoudidyou.com http://willyoudidyou.com). And in addition to yourself, it's good to show compassion to others. But it's definitely easier to do this for others once you have done it for yourself.
- jurie 9y agoLooks like a neat project; that might help with forming some better habits for myself. FYI, the top portion of the homepage is wider than my phone's screen, but I can't scroll sideways to read all of the text. Let me know if you want a screenshot...
- meesterdude 9y agoIt's helped me a lot. I'm much more consistently doing self-care habits i've struggled all my life to do. Of course, I still struggle sometimes to do it, but trending wise i'm much better off than i've ever managed. Thanks for pointing out the display issue, I'll push up a fix!
- Jtsummers 9y agoFor this, start small. My mindset on this sort of thing changed largely by taking up a sport (I'm a capable athlete, but not stellar). I screwed up a lot. Instead of beating myself up about it, I looked at each "failure" (by some metric, varied by sport) as an opportunity to learn. It's exactly what I'd tell a friend or child in that situation. Pick yourself up, brush off the dirt, examine what went wrong, try again. Ask others for help and feedback, it may be embarrassing at first, but it's better than making a fool of myself every time by doing it wrong or poorly. Failure is an option, because we aren't perfect. We will fail, and how we carry on afterwards is the part that matters. Developing this attitude in one area will carry over to others. Professionally, I had a terrible habit of thinking (impostor syndrome) that I should know what I was doing, wouldn't ask for help, suffered from analysis paralysis, etc. This personal growth helped me out tremendously there.
- menacingly 9y agoIn which a new set of overconfident, simplistic solutions harshly criticize the previous set of overconfident, simplistic solutions. If only we had known what we were doing when we unleashed the dark force of self esteem we could have stopped bullying! I'm sure being patient and understanding with yourself (and with everyone else) is an approach to life that has a lot of benefits, but these articles are nothing more than pornography for our narcissistic idea that we have this huge power to shape who our kids are by simply embracing a new outlook from a paperback or using new words.
- pzone 9y agoI'm always dismayed at how easy it is to make an armchair dismissal of research in social sciences.
- cryoshon 9y agoif the social sciences held themselves to the standard of the hard sciences this problem couldn't exist
- accountyaccount 9y agoI feel like if social sciences held themselves to that standard we'd end up with eugenics? There's some inherit benefit to recognizing that social sciences aren't strictly 'hard-logic' sciences.
- menacingly 9y agoand I feel like worrying about the social consequences of the hard logic you uncover while studying social issues is a fundamentally flawed reasoning
- menacingly 9y agoIt's probably because they can use the in-group primitives of the field to construct internally-consistent conclusions that are obviously false or silly to both casual observers and people who try to reproduce them systematically
- ouid 9y ago>There’s nothing wrong with being confident. This is obviously false, counterexamples are everywhere you look.
- sillysaurus3 9y agoIt's possible to go too far toward the other extreme, though. People react to confidence.
- Jtsummers 9y agoBeing overconfident is a problem. Being confident isn't. Confidence is the (internal) certainty that you're in the right on something. Overconfidence occurs when you lack the ability to reexamine that position, and leads to ill effects (shattered ego after failure, posturing rather than persuading, inability to correct your course when in error). When doing any task, you need to be confident that what you're doing is the correct thing to do, even if it's only an experiment and you accept that it may fail. When designing or writing a program, I choose a path, and proceed confidently. When I hit a dead end (a bad design, an unsolvable problem), because I'm not overconfident, I'm able to reexamine my choices and correct. If I lacked sufficient confidence to begin, I'd be stuck at the design stage trying to decide between the twenty different frameworks available, analysis paralysis. Or I'd be second guessing myself at each stage and progress would be remarkably slow. When going out on the field or into a ring for a sport, you have to be confident in each movement so that the movement is fluid, deliberate. Lack of confidence induces hesitation, and hesitation is more likely to lead to failure (by some metric). Which creates a feedback loop continuing the reduction of confidence and the increase in hesitation, resistance to progress.
- hosh 9y agoI think a better way of framing confidence and overconfidence is your ability to feel impacted by other people around you. If someone has reached the point where other people's reactions, thoughts, feelings, seem to hit a kind of armor and gets ignored or shrugged off, he is acting like an asshole. It is one thing to feel confident while at the same time, one feels the connection with other people. When someone uses the feeling of being "right" as a shield, it veers into asshole territory.
- thunder-ltu 9y agoThis liberal liberal crap again. Being programmer yourself (I guess) you probably learned or will learn a simple life rule - eat or be eaten. Your inability to cope with reality is what drove you to your psychotherapist in the first place. You are not living in a cocoon. Man up and get guts to face life that comes at you. Better save some buck, stop paying brainwashing leeches (go to church, you'll get surprised it's nearly same thing to what psychotherapists do anyways, just cheaper). Start exercising, eat good food, go to sleep early and all will be great.
- sctb 9y agoWe've banned this account for posting only unsubstantively or uncivilly. We're happy to unban accounts if you email us at hn@ycombinator.com and we believe you'll post within the guidelines in the future. We detached this comment from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14316098 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14316098 and marked it off-topic.
- thunder-ltu 9y agoWhat, you banned my account because you noticed a word used "liberal"? Censorship on a full-on scale that will one day come around to yourselfs.
- red_hairing 9y agofine, but what if the purpose of the self-esteem movement in education is not to change self-image, but instead to build up the image of one societal segment in the eyes of another societal segment?
- tabeth 9y agoFriendship and community work better than both. I was actually in the middle of finding evidence to post, but its so numerous it really isn't necessary. Form good unconditional friendships and your happiness will exceed to new heights. How do you form good unconditional friendships you ask? Hey, I didn't say I had all of the answers. One thing I might add is that, at least in my experience, a bad friendship is actually worse than being alone (though one might hesitate to call it a friendship to begin with), so tread carefully.
- stinkytaco 9y ago> Form good unconditional friendships and your happiness will exceed to new heights. I think human relationships come with conditions. If there is not some reciprocation of affection, support, time, kindness, etc, then what you have is not a positive relationship, usually for either side, though they may not see it. I think we see good relationships as "unconditional" because the reciprocation comes easily and without calculation, but there are still conditions.
- mod 9y agoSure, sort-of. I can't kill my best friend's wife and expect to maintain his friendship. So that's a condition. It's unconditional when it doesn't feel like there are conditions, and when your friend doesn't require anything extra of you beyond the things you do. If you just want to argue some petty semantics, then your point stands.
- stinkytaco 9y agoWell, I was with you until "petty semantics". I suspect most of us have seen a relationship that is toxic. Relationships where one person carries the emotional weight. Both parties might even think everything is ok, though usually one party feels the burden. If you are going to tell me "that's not a friendship", I would argue that's petty semantics. It's incumbent on all of us to evaluate our relationships and make sure we're doing our part and not being either the one taken advantage of or the one taking advantage. Indeed, I would argue the "conditions" are what makes it a friendship and that being aware of those conditions is actually pretty healthy. As I matured I found myself noticing a number of my relationships were not healthy. Without that self-reflection, I think I might be much worse off today.
- samirillian 9y agoI fundamentally agree with the basic insight of this essay, but I'd like to add that we should strive to be those friends to each other so we don't need to "auto-sympathize" to such a degree. If the people that you value don't value you for how hot your girlfriend is, or how much money you make, then you won't feel the compulsion to build yourself up that way--to such a degree. Of course, the pervading culture still makes it difficult to ignore those sirens. And of course, social media plays a huge role in this reduction of the complexity of emotional life to more superficial things, to what can fit in a camera lens or a blurb. The kind of self-esteem that people have, I imagine, must be like malnourished populations that are also obese. They don't have any lack of social interaction quantitatively, but they're still emotionally/spiritually hungry.
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- aaimnr 9y agoWe only spend so much time with our friends, while we talk to ourselves all the time, mostly in very unfriendly manner. This self talk is the basis of Default Mode Network and you can start to notice it after a couple days of total silence. Great friends are great, obviously, but we also need to internalise them.
- RobertoG 9y ago"This self talk is the basis of Default Mode Network" That idea interest me. Can you elaborate it? Maybe some link? Thanks.
- aaimnr 9y agoPlease look up Judson Brewer and Gary Weber (sorry for brevity, I'm on the go). EDIT: actually this is an excellent resource for the HN crowd, 100% BS free. It explains DMN and much more: https://www.coursera.org/learn/science-of-meditation https://www.coursera.org/learn/science-of-meditation
- 9y ago
- phoenixProgram 9y agopromoting this absolutely sick and disgusting lifestyle filled with nonsense is why people get motivated to commit genocide. people get motivated to commit genocide when they see people living in filth like this. and the reason they live in filth like this is because the bugs have destroyed their minds
- Tonester 9y agoI think it's a question of balance, depending on how strong a position you are. If you are in a position of weakness, feeling sorry for yourself, recovering from something you are judging yourself on - then you absolutely should start with self-compassion, being kind to yourself. To continue in this mode would ultimately hit your ambition and drive, so if you are in a bit of a stronger position mentally, a higher gear, then boosting your self-esteem is more important.
- flor1s 9y agoI guess being self compassionate when you are doing great does not bring a big benefit, but neither does it hurt. However as the article mentions, it's hard to have self esteem when you are not doing that great. As a PhD student I have this imposter syndrome feeling whenever I hit a wall. Being self compassionate and realising that almost every PhD student hits one or more walls during their PhD has helped me to cope with this.
- hosh 9y agoLoving-kindness while one is doing helps one see through complacency and turning into an asshole. It also naturally start bridging into loving-kindnes for others.
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- Ensorceled 9y agoI think one of the points of the article is that you don't need to "boost" self-esteem, which comes on its own. What you are boosting instead are your self-importance and narcissism.
- hammock 9y agoI would draw an analogy to "boosting" stock price. When you are doing everything right, your stock price rises on its own. But you can also do self-defeating things to "boost" it nominally.
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- Tharkun 9y ago> try talking to yourself like you would your best friend. So swearing at myself, basically? Strange advice.
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- grasshopperpurp 9y agoYour best friend should probably consider looking for a new best friend :^p
- gmarx 9y agoMost boys think of themselves as attractive and this is stable? Is this statement true for most of you? I was a fat kid (and fat young adult) and always thought I was unattractive. Even though it may not have affected me as much as it would had I been a girl, it remains prominent in my self image
- ravenstine 9y agoIn my experience, mostly no. But that could have been painted by the fact that I, too, was the fat kid for most of my youth. Despite that, I found that I could sometimes buddy up with a more attractive guy with either a better physique or social skills. I was a loser, but I could do that because I naturally treat everyone the same. Anyway, even attractive young men seem to view themselves as lesser creatures whose esteem would be improved by obtaining an attractive female. True, that often boosts one's esteem, but there's little self-love in that picture. Of course some guys do have a level of independent self esteem, but it is surprising how many attractive men don't think highly of themselves. As far as stability, I think it has to do a lot with your physical and mental health. I noticed that most of the guys I knew who were out of shape and had basement dweller habits tended to stick with self-hating tendencies. And some people who didn't have key periods in their life, like having a mate or living on their own, have stayed that way after about age 26.
- 11thEarlOfMar 9y agoWhether it's self compassion, self confidence, self esteem or some combination of them, what needs to be supported is a sense of agency. That sense that if one really needs to make a change or pursue an opportunity, that they have the wherewithal to do so. Wherewithal might be 'on my own' or with assistance or guidance from others. It might require creativity or just persistence. But without it, we feel helpless, hopeless and ultimately dependent and depressed. How can people who lack a sense of agency develop it in a healthy way?
- jobu 9y agoThe principal at my kid's high school called it "Self Advocacy". Kids need to have the mentality that they are in control of their lives, they are expected to stand up for themselves, and they need to seek help or speak out when they need something or see a problem. She was pretty harsh on helicopter parenting, and she did a good job setting expectations with parents, teachers and staff that the students really are becoming young adults in high school and they need to be given respect and responsibility. Her speech was pretty impressive, and I doubt my explanation is doing it justice, but it was the first I'd heard the term and it really struck a chord with me.
- Terr_ 9y ago> The principal at my kid's high school called it "Self Advocacy". Reminds me of a book "When I Say No I feel Guilty", which suggests assertively stating what you desire to others -- even if it's "Because that's what I want and I don't have a good reason" -- as opposed to trying to struggling to frame everything in terms of "Because That's How The World Works".
- hosh 9y agoThat is the thing about self compassion. My understanding of compassion is that it is more than trating yourself as a best friend -- that is a short-hand if you have diffculty generating loving-kindness for yourself. Life does not always give you a choice. You are not always in control (though one should still keep their wits about them). A sense of agency can again, augment the false sense of self, no more different than self confidence or self esteem. Self compassion is different. It is loving-kindness directed to oneseld whether one is doing great or doing bad, on top of the world or hiding in deep shame, heroically rising above or writhing in guilt, having a strong sense of agency or lacking it. It is much more painful to recieve loving-kindness when you are wounded. Loving-kindness doesn't soothe away pain so much as bring it into greater attention and allow the pain to be felt, accepted, and change can take place. It is only then that there is a transformative effect. It can be difficult to generate loving-kindness towards oneself if you've lived a lifetime of self-judgement and self-harm. You might have forgotten what it felt like.
- temp246810 9y agoHeh. My problem is that I am so damaged that when I become friends or find girls that care for me unconditionally, I devalue that relationship because it feels un-earned. Something that comes un-earned to me has no value. This extends to my relationship with myself. I'm hard on others so it only makes sense that I'm hard on myself. This is what happens when your parents get divorced and you're raised by a shitty step mom. Not that my own mother was that great to begin with (cheated on my dad etc.)
- dwaltrip 9y agoHey, at least you have recognition of this, so you can begin to try to account for it. You are way ahead of many in that regard. Friendship isn't earned, it is discovered and built up :)
- mwfunk 9y agoThe good thing is that you have self-awareness about it, so you can identify when your mind or emotions are basically playing tricks on you to make you feel that way. Everyone has their quirks, and there are lots of people whose experiences growing up cause all sorts of emotional reactions that don't always map to reality, but as long as you're aware of it and understand it you can manage it and gradually recover from it (speaking as someone who had a ridiculously alienating childhood and absorbed all the baggage that comes from that when becoming an adult).
- temp246810 9y agoFor sure man, appreciate the words. I've been working on this with a therapist for a long time, it's only now starting to make sense or I am only now starting to internalize it. Stuff is hard.
- BurningFrog 9y agoLet me test a pet theory: You're probably a cat person, and definitely not a dog person?
- 9y ago
- kelvin0 9y agoWell, this article brings a very insightful perspective into view. It's not often you come across content that might profoundly affect your world views! Also, at the opposite end of the spectrum here is a reference to a show called 'Black Mirror' with an episode which is about the need to constantly be seeking other peoples approval (for self-esteem boosting): http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5497778/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5497778/ I highly recommend watching this, very sobering.
- sjg007 9y agoYeah the anti-dote to Facebook.
- nothis 9y agoThere was an article about procrastination that really stuck with me and it argued something similar: One of the reasons we put off work is because we don't look at our "future selfs" as the same person or even as someone you feel sorry for. Basically, we think "I don't give a damn, let my future self deal with the consequences!". By thinking of your future self compassionately, you can much better motivate your current self to do work you'll depend on being finished at a later date. This might sound weird but I try this sometimes. "Thanks, past self, for having done this on time, now I can enjoy the weekend because I'm done with this tedious work!" You don't have to literally talk to yourself or anything, but it's IMO a healthy state of mind. It's also the only way I've found to directly tackle the underlying problem of procrastination instead of just telling yourself to "not be lazy, stupid!".
- Terr_ 9y ago> we don't look at our "future selfs" as the same person I often think of this geeky comic when the subject comes up: http://existentialcomics.com/comic/13 http://existentialcomics.com/comic/13
- chrisweekly 9y agohilarious comic, new to me, thanks for the link! :)
- cgriswald 9y agoI maintain an open dialog with my past and future selves. Now how grateful I will be to myself in the future is definitely a motivating factor when there are things I want to accomplish that require doing things I don't want to do. And I do it out loud.
- Namrog84 9y agoI often do this. Both forward and back. But I also have a slightly warped sense of Self and what consciousness is. I often will consider my past and future as a separate entity or person than myself today in the present. And acknowledge things theyve done good or bad. Or to be kind to your future self as if you are doing a favor for a close friend.
- blablabla123 9y agoThere seem to be various definitions around. Even though a Psychology professor is cited, already at the beginning self-esteem and self-confidence are treated similarly. I really like the following definition of self-esteem: the feeling of (a) being in control of your basic needs and (b) deserving to feel good. This also solves the paradox stated, it just means that you should maintain a certain self-worth. If your self-worth is too low, you may be used by other people. If it's over the top, you may act arrogant. So yeah... Self-confidence is more like the
- SirensOfTitan 9y agoAlbert Ellis (founder of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) railed against the concept of self-esteem most of his career. He remarked that you should rate your actions, not yourself as a person. This seems even more significant when you realize how important failure is to mastery: > Striving, by its nature, often results in setbacks, and setbacks are often what provide the essential information needed to adjust strategies to achieve mastery. (from the book on learning Make It Stick) The self serves as a useful model for behavior, but it changes so much based on context. A universal self-esteem makes no sense when you accept the fact that a human being cannot ever exist in isolation (I always exist in relation to my environment).
- rhizome 9y agoOnce upon a time I came to the conclusion that self-esteem was the worst invention in history.
- aaimnr 9y agoWhat always blows me away is when people who've been watching their minds most of their lives and lived through the most amazing insights we can imagine, witnessing directly how the mind creates the world, how self is an illusion etc. (what neuroscientists can only state from intellectual perspective) tend to say: compassion is the highest form of wisdom. Kristin Neff, the author of the research in TFA, brought these terms directly from her buddhist experiences AFAIK. Karuna and Meta (compassion and kindness) are very important mind "algorithms" in the Buddhist framework that apart from social and behavioral effects also have quite significant cognitive function. It allows to see things so much clearer, when you understand how complex and interdependent the reality is and how little control over reality we all are. It's especially telling when you look at the natural progression of these mind states that one is encouraged to develop: Compassion -> Kindndess -> Symphatetic Joy (appreciating wellbeing of others) -> Equanimity.
- michaelborromeo 9y agoThere's an awesome book by Kamal Ravikant that relates to the idea of self-compassion: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Yourself-Like-Your-Depends-ebook/dp/B0086BX8UE https://www.amazon.com/Love-Yourself-Like-Your-Depends-ebook...
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- KhanMahGretsch 9y agoI find the terminology a little muddy in this article, as I would not characterise the "narcissistic" behaviours described therein, and the expected rewards, as having anything to do with self-esteem. In my book, self-esteem is inherently intrinsic; appreciating the unconditional value that you, those around you, and every living creature on Earth possesses. This talk given by Irish comedian Blindboy Boatclub (of Rubberbandits fame) describes the concept as simply, succinctly, and beautifully as I have ever heard. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz82P0WqUh4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz82P0WqUh4
- euske 9y agoThis is why there's York and Zach in Deadly Premonition!
- aaimnr 9y agoIt's interesting that both building high self-esteem and negative self talk (2 directions, same dimension) seem to be the basic activity of Default Mode Network - the mode of the brain activated during mindless mind-wandering. Usually people spend most of their lives in this state. The amazing part is that there's strong positive corelation between the DMN activation level and how miserable we feel. Judson Brewer has done lot of great research on this. Most meditation techniques go directly against DMN and sometimes result in turning it off for good (look up eg. Gary Weber - https://youtu.be/QeNmydIk8Yo https://youtu.be/QeNmydIk8Yo) .