4 ms·

An alternative stance to take could be to not expect people to behave how you want them to and just be happy if people turn up. (You're free to do what you like

An alternative stance to take could be to not expect people to behave how you want them to and just be happy if people turn up. (You're free to do what you like of course !) Someone may be on Facebook just to keep a contact list, not to use it. Someone may not have turned up because their mother was in hospital. Maybe they were about to RSVP but then their kid fell over, then it was dinner time etc. Maybe some people just to prefer not to pre-plan everything in advance.

joezydeco 10y ago
Try planning a wedding, conference, bus trip, or dinner party where an exact head count helps, if it's not completely mandatory. You could be an ass and say "sorry, no RSVP, no entry", but most people will try to show a modicum of etiquette more than the guests and accommodate the fools somehow.
speby 10y ago
Or an alternative stance to that stance is to spell out whether an invitation RSVP is needed. If not knowing who the hell is coming or not in advance is immaterial to the event, then just make it an open invitation ("Hey we are hosting blah blah at blah on blah. Hope you can be there. Just show up!"). But if you're being asked for a reply by a certain date and you miss it, you should reasonably expect not to be allowed to the event. And, if you do show up anyways, you might get in and you might end up being accommodated by the hosts/organizers regardless. But that wouldn't make you any less of an ass.
Jtsummers 10y ago
> Someone may not have turned up because their mother was in hospital. Maybe they were about to RSVP but then their kid fell over, then it was dinner time etc. These are exceptional conditions, not norms. Many people have taken to simply not RSVPing or RSVPing in the positive and not showing up as their norm. It's not an exceptional thing. Someone with a particularly hectic life is consistently unreliable, fine. Someone who's usually reliable but is unreliable a few times, give them the benefit of the doubt. People who aren't leading hectic lives (or are actively hiding that fact, it's usually hard to do so) that are consistently unreliable, they're just rude.

joezydeco 10y ago

Try planning a wedding, conference, bus trip, or dinner party where an exact head count helps, if it's not completely mandatory. You could be an ass and say "sorry, no RSVP, no entry", but most people will try to show a modicum of etiquette more than the guests and accommodate the fools somehow.

speby 10y ago

Or an alternative stance to that stance is to spell out whether an invitation RSVP is needed. If not knowing who the hell is coming or not in advance is immaterial to the event, then just make it an open invitation ("Hey we are hosting blah blah at blah on blah. Hope you can be there. Just show up!"). But if you're being asked for a reply by a certain date and you miss it, you should reasonably expect not to be allowed to the event. And, if you do show up anyways, you might get in and you might end up being accommodated by the hosts/organizers regardless. But that wouldn't make you any less of an ass.

Jtsummers 10y ago

> Someone may not have turned up because their mother was in hospital. Maybe they were about to RSVP but then their kid fell over, then it was dinner time etc. These are exceptional conditions, not norms. Many people have taken to simply not RSVPing or RSVPing in the positive and not showing up as their norm. It's not an exceptional thing. Someone with a particularly hectic life is consistently unreliable, fine. Someone who's usually reliable but is unreliable a few times, give them the benefit of the doubt. People who aren't leading hectic lives (or are actively hiding that fact, it's usually hard to do so) that are consistently unreliable, they're just rude.