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You can definitely learn charisma. I wouldn't call myself a smooth talker (I'm way too frank), but I've got a presence that people respond to. More importantl
by CuriouslyC 10y ago
You can definitely learn charisma. I wouldn't call myself a smooth talker (I'm way too frank), but I've got a presence that people respond to. More importantly, 20 years ago I was basically a shut in with crippling social anxiety.
I've found that the big key is getting your mind in order. You can work forever on what to say, but if your head isn't right it won't work. On the other hand, someone who is totally centered can say the most random things and people will still like them. Old buddhist monks demonstrate this beautifully.
- copperx 10y agoDo you mind expounding on "getting your mind in order"?
- CuriouslyC 10y agoThat is going to be a different for everyone. For me, it involved systematically examining my beliefs and feelings, and discarding the ones that didn't serve me. Additionally, I've found that there is a certain flow to life; you can struggle against it, get carried away by it, or harness it. Accepting the way things are and learning to surf the currents rather than raging against them helped a lot. If you want a shortcut, in terms of interpersonal skills the two highest impact changes for me have been: 1. Derive your personal value entirely from within 2. Develop compassion for other people If you nail these two changes, you will be attractive. You might not be "persuasive" like a salesman, but that is a specialized skill-set that needs to be developed on its own.
- randcraw 10y agoAnd Yogi Berra.