5 ms·

This is really sad. I got the impression while reading through that whole sorry story that the poor girl's parents really just don't see how they are a huge sou

This is really sad. I got the impression while reading through that whole sorry story that the poor girl's parents really just don't see how they are a huge source of negativity and pain in their daughter's life. They kick her out of the house, sabotage her job, put conditions on their provision of love and support. These are terrible parents. I feel awful just reading about that whole situation.

tjohns 10y ago
Not to sound harsh, but have you dealt with someone who has a serious drug problem before? When things get very bad, you try anything in the hope it gets though to them. (It often doesn't, but you try anyway.) Keep in mind that major drug addictions cause problems for everyone involved. Nobody resorts to these things as their first option. (And frankly, if one's job involves driving, and they're doing it while under the influence... they really should lose their job/license. That's how innocent people get killed on the road.)
- metaphorm 10y ago
  I'm going to quote the author here > Our daughter at that point didn't feel it was a problem. She kept saying, "It's just fun, OK? It's just fun." And that would be interspersed with periods of depression and it not being fun, but her not being prepared to admit that. And as time went on we gave her an ultimatum. Looking back I don't know whether it was the right decision or not, but we said, "If you continue to use drugs, you can no longer live at home." And we kicked her out, because she continued. Then her drug use got worse, and her friendship groups deteriorated more and more. > I hated her. I hated her so much. Am I really being harsh? This is a mother writing about how she felt hatred towards her daughter. She hated her daughter for doing drugs and for socializing with the wrong people. As a result of her hatred she kicked her own daughter out of the home, which instigated a downward spiral that made things far worse than they might have been otherwise.
  - hndruguser 10y ago
    Not harsh, I completely agree with you. Everything the mother did would have just made her daughter's life harder.
  - JabavuAdams 10y ago
    Do you have kids? It's absolutely normal / widespread to hate your kids, sometimes. This goes for everyday frustrations, not drug addiction.
tropo 10y ago
Here in the USA, you have to kick them out. If you don't, your house can be taken via civil asset forfeiture laws. Landlords also have to kick out renters. Kick them out ASAP or risk the loss of your property. You can't even let them loiter outside.
- metaphorm 10y ago
  that's an absurd thing to say. can you provide a citation of a parent's house being seized because their child was arrested for drug possession?
  - areyousure 10y ago
    While I, uh, don't necessarily support the advice given by your parent comments ... this was literally the top result of a Google search for [a parent's house being seized because their child was arrested for drug possession]: http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/03/us/philadelphia-drug-bust-house-seizure/ http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/03/us/philadelphia-drug-bust-hous... Most of the top results are about that case. Maybe it's misleading or simply inaccurate. However, check out this webpage (the fourth result) which offers legal advice: http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/if-my-kid-arrested-smoking-marijuana-my-house-can-i-l http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/if-my-kid-arr... Choice quotation: "In 1988, Paul and Ruth Derbacher, a couple in their eighties, lost their Connecticut home after police raided their house and arrested their twenty-two year old grandson for selling drugs. Police found $50,000 worth of marijuana and cocaine in the house. The grandson was convicted of drug charges and sentenced to prison. The Derbachers were also charged with drug possession and were placed on probation. Prosecutors claimed the drugs were kept in plain view and that the Derbachers must have been aware of their grandson’s illicit activities. Although the Derbachers fought the seizure of their home, they ultimately reached a settlement agreement. The house was sold, and the couple split the proceeds of the sale with the government."
- Neliquat 10y ago
  While possible, that is beyond rare. Please don't spread FUD.

tjohns 10y ago

Not to sound harsh, but have you dealt with someone who has a serious drug problem before? When things get very bad, you try anything in the hope it gets though to them. (It often doesn't, but you try anyway.) Keep in mind that major drug addictions cause problems for everyone involved. Nobody resorts to these things as their first option. (And frankly, if one's job involves driving, and they're doing it while under the influence... they really should lose their job/license. That's how innocent people get killed on the road.)

metaphorm 10y ago
I'm going to quote the author here > Our daughter at that point didn't feel it was a problem. She kept saying, "It's just fun, OK? It's just fun." And that would be interspersed with periods of depression and it not being fun, but her not being prepared to admit that. And as time went on we gave her an ultimatum. Looking back I don't know whether it was the right decision or not, but we said, "If you continue to use drugs, you can no longer live at home." And we kicked her out, because she continued. Then her drug use got worse, and her friendship groups deteriorated more and more. > I hated her. I hated her so much. Am I really being harsh? This is a mother writing about how she felt hatred towards her daughter. She hated her daughter for doing drugs and for socializing with the wrong people. As a result of her hatred she kicked her own daughter out of the home, which instigated a downward spiral that made things far worse than they might have been otherwise.
- hndruguser 10y ago
  Not harsh, I completely agree with you. Everything the mother did would have just made her daughter's life harder.
- JabavuAdams 10y ago
  Do you have kids? It's absolutely normal / widespread to hate your kids, sometimes. This goes for everyday frustrations, not drug addiction.

tropo 10y ago

Here in the USA, you have to kick them out. If you don't, your house can be taken via civil asset forfeiture laws. Landlords also have to kick out renters. Kick them out ASAP or risk the loss of your property. You can't even let them loiter outside.

metaphorm 10y ago
that's an absurd thing to say. can you provide a citation of a parent's house being seized because their child was arrested for drug possession?
- areyousure 10y ago
  While I, uh, don't necessarily support the advice given by your parent comments ... this was literally the top result of a Google search for [a parent's house being seized because their child was arrested for drug possession]: http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/03/us/philadelphia-drug-bust-house-seizure/ http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/03/us/philadelphia-drug-bust-hous... Most of the top results are about that case. Maybe it's misleading or simply inaccurate. However, check out this webpage (the fourth result) which offers legal advice: http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/if-my-kid-arrested-smoking-marijuana-my-house-can-i-l http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/if-my-kid-arr... Choice quotation: "In 1988, Paul and Ruth Derbacher, a couple in their eighties, lost their Connecticut home after police raided their house and arrested their twenty-two year old grandson for selling drugs. Police found $50,000 worth of marijuana and cocaine in the house. The grandson was convicted of drug charges and sentenced to prison. The Derbachers were also charged with drug possession and were placed on probation. Prosecutors claimed the drugs were kept in plain view and that the Derbachers must have been aware of their grandson’s illicit activities. Although the Derbachers fought the seizure of their home, they ultimately reached a settlement agreement. The house was sold, and the couple split the proceeds of the sale with the government."
Neliquat 10y ago
While possible, that is beyond rare. Please don't spread FUD.