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“Go trekking in Nepal. Build a yurt in the back meadow. Turn the garage studio into a man-cave. Get that drum set you’ve always wanted. ..." Is there anyone el

by zeynel1 16y ago

“Go trekking in Nepal. Build a yurt in the back meadow. Turn the garage studio into a man-cave. Get that drum set you’ve always wanted. ..." Is there anyone else who finds this a very condescending and nasty thing to say? This ought to sound to her husband like fighting words.

joezydeco 16y ago
When you're married and have the feelings like the husband did in this story it will make a lot more sense.
- georgieporgie 16y ago
  If there's ever a time when my wife distills my desires to building a "man cave" or "trekking" that's when I know I married the wrong woman.
  - abstractbill 16y ago
    Ok sure, "man cave" is a dumb phrase, but how do you know the husband hadn't regularly talked about trekking in Nepal or converting the garage?
    - joezydeco 16y ago
      "Man Cave" is married-folk slang for "some personal space where I don't mess with your stuff." Have a gaming rig on a table that your wife can't go near? That's a man cave. How about a car project in the garage? Fishing boat out back? Electronics bench full of parts and tools?
    - georgieporgie 16y ago
      My issue with "man cave" is that it's derogatory. A man has a personal hobby he enjoys, which she doesn't understand, so it's addressed with terminology like, "man cave." Really, do you want you wife referring to you as a neanderthal? As for trekking in Nepal, it struck me as a tremendously abbreviated comment. Could, "trekking in Nepal," possibly describe the sort of action a man so distraught wants to take? This is akin to my wife being upset at my emotional distance and refusal to address her needs and, when called on it, I simply say that it's fine if she buys some new shoes. I'm not a fan of sexism, in either direction.
timinman 16y ago
Umm, maybe a little. Overall, though she likely wasn't blameless it sounds like she pretty much 'turned the other cheek' - and reaped the rewards.
andywood 16y ago
I wasn't there to hear how she said it, but I took it as sincere. I thought she was really offering to let him do whatever he needed to do to find his happiness again.
robryan 16y ago
Seems she was only willing to let him do these things once she thought she may lose him. Why couldn't he do these things at any time if that's what he really wanted.
- abstractbill 16y ago
  I have the bad habit of throwing myself completely into my work, and not doing any of the other things that I know would make me happy. When I inevitably get close to burning out, my wife has to remind me (often quite forcibly) that I should spend some time doing those things. The wife in this story may have been in a similar position - completely willing to let him do those things, but having to remind him that he's been meaning to do them for a long time.

by zeynel1 16y ago

joezydeco 16y ago

When you're married and have the feelings like the husband did in this story it will make a lot more sense.

georgieporgie 16y ago
If there's ever a time when my wife distills my desires to building a "man cave" or "trekking" that's when I know I married the wrong woman.
- abstractbill 16y ago
  Ok sure, "man cave" is a dumb phrase, but how do you know the husband hadn't regularly talked about trekking in Nepal or converting the garage?
  - joezydeco 16y ago
    "Man Cave" is married-folk slang for "some personal space where I don't mess with your stuff." Have a gaming rig on a table that your wife can't go near? That's a man cave. How about a car project in the garage? Fishing boat out back? Electronics bench full of parts and tools?
  - georgieporgie 16y ago
    My issue with "man cave" is that it's derogatory. A man has a personal hobby he enjoys, which she doesn't understand, so it's addressed with terminology like, "man cave." Really, do you want you wife referring to you as a neanderthal? As for trekking in Nepal, it struck me as a tremendously abbreviated comment. Could, "trekking in Nepal," possibly describe the sort of action a man so distraught wants to take? This is akin to my wife being upset at my emotional distance and refusal to address her needs and, when called on it, I simply say that it's fine if she buys some new shoes. I'm not a fan of sexism, in either direction.

timinman 16y ago

Umm, maybe a little. Overall, though she likely wasn't blameless it sounds like she pretty much 'turned the other cheek' - and reaped the rewards.

andywood 16y ago

I wasn't there to hear how she said it, but I took it as sincere. I thought she was really offering to let him do whatever he needed to do to find his happiness again.

robryan 16y ago

Seems she was only willing to let him do these things once she thought she may lose him. Why couldn't he do these things at any time if that's what he really wanted.

abstractbill 16y ago
I have the bad habit of throwing myself completely into my work, and not doing any of the other things that I know would make me happy. When I inevitably get close to burning out, my wife has to remind me (often quite forcibly) that I should spend some time doing those things. The wife in this story may have been in a similar position - completely willing to let him do those things, but having to remind him that he's been meaning to do them for a long time.