5 ms·

Tipping is supposed to be for exceptional service. For example, if the wait person takes your order and brings your food and nothing more I wouldn't tip. If t

by X86BSD 10y ago

Tipping is supposed to be for exceptional service. For example, if the wait person takes your order and brings your food and nothing more I wouldn't tip. If they do the above and keep your water glass filled constantly without need to ask, if your meal, drink orders and dessert come out promptly and correctly, if they ask if everything is ok throuought the meal at appropriate times, etc I would tip. Getting good service is starting to get hard to find. Some waitstaff are really good some hate their job and really don't care about the experience you have at the establishment you are in. It's just a job. Also I've worked in kitchens, I know what douche nozzles customers can be. That's when you can see who your best wait staff is. During times they have to deal with them.

k-mcgrady 10y ago
>> "If they do the above and keep your water glass filled constantly without need to ask, if your meal, drink orders and dessert come out promptly and correctly This shouldn't be considered exceptional. It's what I'm paying for and should not require tipping. >> if they ask if everything is ok throuought the meal at appropriate times I understand you included 'appropriate' but this is honestly the thing that irritates me most about tipping culture. When I visit the US the barrage of 'how is everything etc.' throughout every meal drives me insane. Leave me alone to enjoy the food and conversation, stop interrupting it.
- X86BSD 10y ago
  It's hard to do the latter. When is the appropriate time to intervene to ask if everything is ok? But I can't tell you how many times I've not had a fork, or needed a drink and my waitperson never came to ask if I needed anything. The frustration can go both ways.
  - melvinmt 10y ago
    > When is the appropriate time to intervene to ask if everything is ok? Where I grew up (The Netherlands) this simply does not exist. If you need something you ask the waiter and only then they'll come to you. Likewise for the check, the check only comes when you ask for it. It is considered extremely rude to get the check before you've asked for it. Of course, after living in the US for 5 years I've become accustomed to all kinds of weird things (like the insistence of having salad before the entree, and entree not being an appetizer, simply blows my mind).
    - nommm-nommm 10y ago
      Can you elaborate on "entree not being an appetizer?"
      - k-mcgrady 10y ago
        Outside the US and Canada 'entrée' is served before the main course. In the US and Canada entrée refers to the main course. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entr%C3%A9e https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entr%C3%A9e
  - k-mcgrady 10y ago
    >> "When is the appropriate time to intervene to ask if everything is ok?" When the meal is finished. If there's a real problem all it takes is for me to catch the eye of one of the many weight staff walking around and raise my hand and they'll come over.
  - r_smart 10y ago
    I bartended for a couple years (and waiting tables was a part of that). it's actually pretty easy. After their food comes out, ask if they need anything else. If you see an empty glass, ask if they want a refill. Otherwise, just drift by occasionally and pay attention to the table. If they need you, they'll be looking to make eye contact / flag you down as you walk by and you won't need to say anything if they don't want you. Basically just don't be one of those servers that stands at the wait-station or bar, playing with your phone or socializing with co-workers without paying attention. In my opinion, absent of delivering food, asking if people want refills, or addressing an obvious problem, you really shouldn't be interrupting people. The end result is good service without being annoying.
gcb0 10y ago
thats is also wrong. repeat visits is what you do for good to exceptional service/product at a good price. tipping culture is just the lazy way for restaurants owners to deal with high attrition rates and lack of training and decent wages.
- X86BSD 10y ago
  I don't think so. At least for me, I tip because I've worked in a kitchen. I've worked with waitstaff. I know how hard that job can be. If you are happy, and do a good job with me I would feel guilty not paying you a tip because your normal wage is shit and it's almost impossible to live on. So if I can tip you $15 bucks raising your hourly to at least $22/hr or so I feel good for helping that person being able to live. It's voluntary. Its cash. I expect you to pocket it and not pay tax on it. But that's your call.
  - geon 10y ago
    So if they earned a decent wage to begin with, that would be better, right?
GrinningFool 10y ago
> if your meal, drink orders and dessert come out promptly and correctly, if they ask if everything is ok throuought the meal at appropriate times, etc I would tip. And yet fully half of those things are beyond the control of the person you're tipping for it.
- nommm-nommm 10y ago
  I'd say closer to 75-100%. If manager or owner hoses the servers and doesn't staff appropriately then they aren't going to be able to "ask if everything is ok throuought the meal at appropriate times" and it wouldn't be their fault. Nobody can do the impossible. It's like personally blaming the cashier when the line is long. I'd also start it earlier with training. If someone isn't trained for the job they are doing and never get any feedback from management, is it really their fault if they do it wrong? (I say this as someone who worked somewhere where training was more or less "yeah, go figure it out" so I have a lot of empathy) I wrote on HN a while ago about my experience waiting (at least) a half hour to pick up a site-to-store order at Walmart when there was literary no customers. I never personally blamed the staff for it though because I could see the dysfunction in the system they were given to work with (and I could see the physical discomfort the staff was in dealing with it).

by X86BSD 10y ago

k-mcgrady 10y ago

>> "If they do the above and keep your water glass filled constantly without need to ask, if your meal, drink orders and dessert come out promptly and correctly This shouldn't be considered exceptional. It's what I'm paying for and should not require tipping. >> if they ask if everything is ok throuought the meal at appropriate times I understand you included 'appropriate' but this is honestly the thing that irritates me most about tipping culture. When I visit the US the barrage of 'how is everything etc.' throughout every meal drives me insane. Leave me alone to enjoy the food and conversation, stop interrupting it.

X86BSD 10y ago
It's hard to do the latter. When is the appropriate time to intervene to ask if everything is ok? But I can't tell you how many times I've not had a fork, or needed a drink and my waitperson never came to ask if I needed anything. The frustration can go both ways.
- melvinmt 10y ago
  > When is the appropriate time to intervene to ask if everything is ok? Where I grew up (The Netherlands) this simply does not exist. If you need something you ask the waiter and only then they'll come to you. Likewise for the check, the check only comes when you ask for it. It is considered extremely rude to get the check before you've asked for it. Of course, after living in the US for 5 years I've become accustomed to all kinds of weird things (like the insistence of having salad before the entree, and entree not being an appetizer, simply blows my mind).
  - nommm-nommm 10y ago
    Can you elaborate on "entree not being an appetizer?"
    - k-mcgrady 10y ago
      Outside the US and Canada 'entrée' is served before the main course. In the US and Canada entrée refers to the main course. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entr%C3%A9e https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entr%C3%A9e
- k-mcgrady 10y ago
  >> "When is the appropriate time to intervene to ask if everything is ok?" When the meal is finished. If there's a real problem all it takes is for me to catch the eye of one of the many weight staff walking around and raise my hand and they'll come over.
- r_smart 10y ago
  I bartended for a couple years (and waiting tables was a part of that). it's actually pretty easy. After their food comes out, ask if they need anything else. If you see an empty glass, ask if they want a refill. Otherwise, just drift by occasionally and pay attention to the table. If they need you, they'll be looking to make eye contact / flag you down as you walk by and you won't need to say anything if they don't want you. Basically just don't be one of those servers that stands at the wait-station or bar, playing with your phone or socializing with co-workers without paying attention. In my opinion, absent of delivering food, asking if people want refills, or addressing an obvious problem, you really shouldn't be interrupting people. The end result is good service without being annoying.

gcb0 10y ago

thats is also wrong. repeat visits is what you do for good to exceptional service/product at a good price. tipping culture is just the lazy way for restaurants owners to deal with high attrition rates and lack of training and decent wages.

X86BSD 10y ago
I don't think so. At least for me, I tip because I've worked in a kitchen. I've worked with waitstaff. I know how hard that job can be. If you are happy, and do a good job with me I would feel guilty not paying you a tip because your normal wage is shit and it's almost impossible to live on. So if I can tip you $15 bucks raising your hourly to at least $22/hr or so I feel good for helping that person being able to live. It's voluntary. Its cash. I expect you to pocket it and not pay tax on it. But that's your call.
- geon 10y ago
  So if they earned a decent wage to begin with, that would be better, right?

GrinningFool 10y ago

> if your meal, drink orders and dessert come out promptly and correctly, if they ask if everything is ok throuought the meal at appropriate times, etc I would tip. And yet fully half of those things are beyond the control of the person you're tipping for it.

nommm-nommm 10y ago
I'd say closer to 75-100%. If manager or owner hoses the servers and doesn't staff appropriately then they aren't going to be able to "ask if everything is ok throuought the meal at appropriate times" and it wouldn't be their fault. Nobody can do the impossible. It's like personally blaming the cashier when the line is long. I'd also start it earlier with training. If someone isn't trained for the job they are doing and never get any feedback from management, is it really their fault if they do it wrong? (I say this as someone who worked somewhere where training was more or less "yeah, go figure it out" so I have a lot of empathy) I wrote on HN a while ago about my experience waiting (at least) a half hour to pick up a site-to-store order at Walmart when there was literary no customers. I never personally blamed the staff for it though because I could see the dysfunction in the system they were given to work with (and I could see the physical discomfort the staff was in dealing with it).