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I was excommunicated from my family at 15 because I refused to join Amway. It's a family destroying dangerous cult. It's not like my family was super awesome be

I was excommunicated from my family at 15 because I refused to join Amway. It's a family destroying dangerous cult. It's not like my family was super awesome before Amway but it did drive us from lower middle class to poor while promising them riches. It made me very wary of any get rich scheme - including tech start ups. Instead I'm getting rich slowly. Which is fine for me but really bad for dating. The whole living frugally and saving is a very hard sell, especially in SF.

bsenftner 10y ago
You are doing it right. Any potential life partner that does not have the "patience" and good judgement to see the wisdom of your choices is not worth spending time with anyway.
- figjamjam 10y ago
  Thanks. A problem occurs when the market gets too thin. I've had all my long term gfs leave me for much older richer men. As a guy I'm confident that I will both get older and richer so I'll be fine. My greater concern is for the opposite effect on women and the gender dynamics in general.
  - maverick_iceman 10y ago
    In SF I see a lot of 20-something women with 40-50 year old (rich) men. This was a bit surprising when I first came here. In no other cities I have seen this happening at such a large extent.
    - tdb7893 10y ago
      That's part of why I'm not sure I want to move to SF. I'm from somewhere that is barely considered the suburbs of Chicago and my girlfriend is from a small farm in Iowa and I'm worried we wouldn't fit in. People spending lots of money kinda makes me uncomfortable.
      - figjamjam 10y ago
        I'm sure it'll be a different culture but that's part of the fun. My only advice would be to take promises of future buckets of money with a grain of salt.
      - edblarney 10y ago
        Yeah - 'young girls with older dudes' is not really so much a thing in SF, though it exists. There are 20 other reasons to be 'weary' of living in SF that are just easier to grasp, like 'rent'. Also - maybe I'm wrong but when I lived there it felt like 3 guys to every girl. At least the way social networks work because they are so tech-focused. But materialism is what it is ... so yes, you'll get some negative aspects from having clusters of money.
    - figjamjam 10y ago
      Yup, it was an average of 20 years older to wealthy VCs who look like my dad. I don't get the appeal, feels like jumping right to the end of life. They did get good jobs out of it so there is that. The Battery, MaiTai, and other private clubs facilitate such encounters. Having been to cougar nights at The Rosewood I have a bit of an idea on how it ends and it's not pretty :(
      - maverick_iceman 10y ago
        I was totally bummed out by cougar nights at The Rosewood. Way too many people and not really a good place to enjoy yourself.
    - edblarney 10y ago
      "In no other cities I have seen this happening at such a large extent." In Latin Europe and South America it's quite common. Not so much in US. Not even really in SF as much as Spain or Italy.
    - CPLX 10y ago
      Come visit us in NYC.
  - pavel_lishin 10y ago
    > As a guy I'm confident that I will both get older and richer so I'll be fine. I hope this doesn't mean that you aspire to one day be the guy that girlfriends leave their boyfriends for.
    - figjamjam 10y ago
      I'm off the market for the foreseeable future and plan on staying that way. So no.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
aub3bhat 10y ago
There are "get rich quick schemes" and then there are rational ways of getting richer. It seems you are practicing risk aversion for just the sake of it and worse at cost of enjoying life. Extreme belief in either direction is bad. Also its dishonest to compare tech startup with "get rich quick schemes" like Amway. If you really believe this you ought to reexamine your own prejudices that you seem to have ingrained from you past experiences.
- figjamjam 10y ago
  Given your response, I put it to you that perhaps you are assuming too much about me and the tech industry. FYI I understand risk and culture to an obsessive degree. Edit: I used to build risk analysis products for finance
- sharemywin 10y ago
  getting rich is an anomaly.
tomcam 10y ago
Sorry to hear that story. When you meet a partner who's down with it, though, you're golden. It means the two of you share some values are critical to building a solid life together. I did that couple of decades ago and now I'm rich. Keep at it, my friend you are on the right track.

bsenftner 10y ago

You are doing it right. Any potential life partner that does not have the "patience" and good judgement to see the wisdom of your choices is not worth spending time with anyway.

figjamjam 10y ago
Thanks. A problem occurs when the market gets too thin. I've had all my long term gfs leave me for much older richer men. As a guy I'm confident that I will both get older and richer so I'll be fine. My greater concern is for the opposite effect on women and the gender dynamics in general.
- maverick_iceman 10y ago
  In SF I see a lot of 20-something women with 40-50 year old (rich) men. This was a bit surprising when I first came here. In no other cities I have seen this happening at such a large extent.
  - tdb7893 10y ago
    That's part of why I'm not sure I want to move to SF. I'm from somewhere that is barely considered the suburbs of Chicago and my girlfriend is from a small farm in Iowa and I'm worried we wouldn't fit in. People spending lots of money kinda makes me uncomfortable.
    - figjamjam 10y ago
      I'm sure it'll be a different culture but that's part of the fun. My only advice would be to take promises of future buckets of money with a grain of salt.
    - edblarney 10y ago
      Yeah - 'young girls with older dudes' is not really so much a thing in SF, though it exists. There are 20 other reasons to be 'weary' of living in SF that are just easier to grasp, like 'rent'. Also - maybe I'm wrong but when I lived there it felt like 3 guys to every girl. At least the way social networks work because they are so tech-focused. But materialism is what it is ... so yes, you'll get some negative aspects from having clusters of money.
  - figjamjam 10y ago
    Yup, it was an average of 20 years older to wealthy VCs who look like my dad. I don't get the appeal, feels like jumping right to the end of life. They did get good jobs out of it so there is that. The Battery, MaiTai, and other private clubs facilitate such encounters. Having been to cougar nights at The Rosewood I have a bit of an idea on how it ends and it's not pretty :(
    - maverick_iceman 10y ago
      I was totally bummed out by cougar nights at The Rosewood. Way too many people and not really a good place to enjoy yourself.
  - edblarney 10y ago
    "In no other cities I have seen this happening at such a large extent." In Latin Europe and South America it's quite common. Not so much in US. Not even really in SF as much as Spain or Italy.
  - CPLX 10y ago
    Come visit us in NYC.
- pavel_lishin 10y ago
  > As a guy I'm confident that I will both get older and richer so I'll be fine. I hope this doesn't mean that you aspire to one day be the guy that girlfriends leave their boyfriends for.
  - figjamjam 10y ago
    I'm off the market for the foreseeable future and plan on staying that way. So no.
deleted 10y ago
[deleted]

aub3bhat 10y ago

There are "get rich quick schemes" and then there are rational ways of getting richer. It seems you are practicing risk aversion for just the sake of it and worse at cost of enjoying life. Extreme belief in either direction is bad. Also its dishonest to compare tech startup with "get rich quick schemes" like Amway. If you really believe this you ought to reexamine your own prejudices that you seem to have ingrained from you past experiences.

figjamjam 10y ago
Given your response, I put it to you that perhaps you are assuming too much about me and the tech industry. FYI I understand risk and culture to an obsessive degree. Edit: I used to build risk analysis products for finance
sharemywin 10y ago
getting rich is an anomaly.

tomcam 10y ago

Sorry to hear that story. When you meet a partner who's down with it, though, you're golden. It means the two of you share some values are critical to building a solid life together. I did that couple of decades ago and now I'm rich. Keep at it, my friend you are on the right track.