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It makes me wish I (cliche!) knew then what I know now. I'd have picked (and hopefully been able to recognize) better people to try to follow so I could have la
by Lonely30s 10y ago
It makes me wish I (cliche!) knew then what I know now. I'd have picked (and hopefully been able to recognize) better people to try to follow so I could have lasting relationships. The only person I speak to with any regularity from my high school days isn't somebody I feel I could call with this, and they live four states away anyway.
- fowlerpower 10y agoKind of sad you had to answer your own comment. Listen, you know, as long as we're alive we can change things. Go out to a bar meet some strangers. It's never too late to make some friends. My problem has always been time. Just don't give up, we don't need hundreds of good friends just a few. Even one or two are better than none.
- toothbrush 10y ago> Listen, you know, as long as we're alive we can change things. Go out to a bar meet some strangers. It's never too late to make some friends. My problem has always been time. FWIW i've had consistently low success with finding friends at bars. Mostly i find people i chat to aren't there with an open mind to getting to know people, at most it'll be a quip here and a joke there, but ultimately they're with "their crowd". YMMV. > Just don't give up, we don't need hundreds of good friends just a few. Even one or two are better than none. I totally agree with this sentiment, though.
- gcb0 10y agoYou are replying to yourself on hacker news at saturday night. I hope you are at least sitting at a bar reading from your phone. Otherwise you are not even trying. cheers.
- voltagex_ 10y agoI don't think it's healthy to rely on alcohol, even if it is the "social lubricant". On the topic of being outside (the other thing you implied in your comment), it can be more difficult for some people than others. If you find it easy to go out and make small talk, consider yourself lucky.
- zemvpferreira 10y agoIf you live in either SF or NYC, I'm happy to go out for coffee and a conversation some time. I can't promise we'll be best friends, but we can sure have a try ;)
- Lonely30s 10y agoI appreciate that, zemvpferreira. I'm in Denver, though. Thanks for the offer.
- nitrogen 10y agoThis may or may not help you at all, try augmenting short winter days with a very bright sunlight spectrum lamp. It's no substitute for a nice coffee with friends, but it can still help keep energy levels up.
- sakopov 10y agoI'm also in my 30s, in Denver and struggling with the same problem. I moved to Denver 2 months ago and realized something rather painful - I haven't actually made new friends in over a decade. It's always been difficult and I've been comfortable with a few folks I am close with. The problem is now they're not here and I just can't seem to take the next step with people I meet and move past the acquaintances stage. Anyway, if you'd like to meet sometime for coffee or something let me know. I'd be happy to chat :)
- smnplk 10y agoI hope you do find some new friends. And remember, you have to be a bit of a stoic if you want to preserve friendships and make them last longer.