4 ms·

This is pretty typical for shy poeple. "Just calling" means that you have to receive the reaction immediately, and moreover, that you have to react on that imm

by vog 10y ago

This is pretty typical for shy poeple. "Just calling" means that you have to receive the reaction immediately, and moreover, that you have to react on that immediately, too. This is much more intimidating than waiting for a response, reading it whenever you feel like, and having enough time to think about your answer. Even on chat or instant messaging, it is generally accepted that it may take half a minute, or even 5 minutes, to take for a reply. So even these so-called "real-time" services are about two orders of magnitude less "real-time" than a phone call (0.5-2.0 seconds versus 30-300 seconds). Also, with text you can get help from trusted people that help you write answers, which is not so simple on a phone call.

Pamar 10y ago
I agree with most of your comment, except the last part. In my opinion if you actually ask for help to put together a written answer you are way beyond "shyness" and would have serious problems functioning in society. (Also, how would you ask someone else for help? I mean, that would be beyond embarrassing in itself, don't you think?).
- vog 10y ago
  To my experience, it is a fairly common expression of shyness to use trusted people's help when communicating. I actually know some people doing that - not just for text, but also for phone calls (they hope one wouldn't notice, or so I guess). These are young and/or inexperienced people, and the helpers are usually best frieds, siblings or parents. Of course you can downturn them as having "serious problems functioning in society", but that's somewhat true for all sufficiently young people - they are still leaning, and I'm not to judge how people learn best.
  - Pamar 10y ago
    Ok, fair enough. I am in my fifties, so I automatically assumed people 30+. Your clarification makes sense.
- shawabawa3 10y ago
  Have you seriously never asked for help in writing a text or email? e.g. If applying for a job via email, I might message one my friends asking "what sounds better, A or B?" or, "I don't know what to write here... X sounds a bit awkward.." or "Bob just asked me <awkward question>... What should I say?"
  - Pamar 10y ago
    Honestly: no. Maybe I am more in the "asocial" segment but ever when I was younger I always tried to either communicate in person (including phone or face-to-face when Internet use was not so widespread) or, if I had to write, I did it on my own. It's probably a ego thing, but I would find more embarrassing to ask someone to help me writing a Valentine (or a cover letter for a job) than to do it myself. If I were actually too intimidated by the task (submitting my CV to Google? Inviting a movie star to hang out?) I would probably just not even try, but involving a third party would never be an option for me. Is this meta-shyness? Being shy about being shy?

by vog 10y ago

Pamar 10y ago

I agree with most of your comment, except the last part. In my opinion if you actually ask for help to put together a written answer you are way beyond "shyness" and would have serious problems functioning in society. (Also, how would you ask someone else for help? I mean, that would be beyond embarrassing in itself, don't you think?).

vog 10y ago
To my experience, it is a fairly common expression of shyness to use trusted people's help when communicating. I actually know some people doing that - not just for text, but also for phone calls (they hope one wouldn't notice, or so I guess). These are young and/or inexperienced people, and the helpers are usually best frieds, siblings or parents. Of course you can downturn them as having "serious problems functioning in society", but that's somewhat true for all sufficiently young people - they are still leaning, and I'm not to judge how people learn best.
- Pamar 10y ago
  Ok, fair enough. I am in my fifties, so I automatically assumed people 30+. Your clarification makes sense.
shawabawa3 10y ago
Have you seriously never asked for help in writing a text or email? e.g. If applying for a job via email, I might message one my friends asking "what sounds better, A or B?" or, "I don't know what to write here... X sounds a bit awkward.." or "Bob just asked me <awkward question>... What should I say?"
- Pamar 10y ago
  Honestly: no. Maybe I am more in the "asocial" segment but ever when I was younger I always tried to either communicate in person (including phone or face-to-face when Internet use was not so widespread) or, if I had to write, I did it on my own. It's probably a ego thing, but I would find more embarrassing to ask someone to help me writing a Valentine (or a cover letter for a job) than to do it myself. If I were actually too intimidated by the task (submitting my CV to Google? Inviting a movie star to hang out?) I would probably just not even try, but involving a third party would never be an option for me. Is this meta-shyness? Being shy about being shy?