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How being alone may be the key to rest
- Normal_gaussian 10y agoI often feel I get myself back by being alone for a while. That when I'm working or socialising I become part of it - my thoughts are very much aligned with it. When I spend a day or two alone I really get back to thinking about what and who I feel matters, and why. It is on those days that I really do know who I am, who I want to be, and how I am getting there. Its lovely.
- kilroy123 10y agoI think key to getting really good rest is to unplug. I know most people tend to sit on their phones or computer for a few hours. Some science suggest that isn't good rest because your nervous system is still being stimulated. [1] I find I get the best rest when I unplug for a bit. Take a long walk, just for the sake of walking. Or lay down for 30 minutes and do nothing for a while. [1] http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/mental-downtime/ http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/mental-downtime/
- sotojuan 10y agoDoing some casual reading before sleeping has really helped.
- curiousgal 10y agoI feel like an entire different person when I am reading a book. It's very soothing, even if the book is dense and thought-provoking.
- Normal_gaussian 10y agoThis is how I end up awake until 2am... That said I recently went for over two months without reading in the evenings - when I resumed reading (a friend literally pushed a book on me and said it needed to be read within a fortnight) I became notably calmer and less stressed. To have colleagues note that none of the workload had changed yet I was significantly more with it was startling, and the only change I could identify was the book.
- sotojuan 10y agoI think my strategy backfires if the book is really good. Personally my night reading is very casual, usually a light non fiction book that doesn't provoke much deep thought. For me it's mostly about slowing down.
- douche 10y agoThere's nothing like cracking a book open to read a few pages before bed, then noticing that all of a sudden the sun is coming in through the window and it's time to go to work...
- majewsky 10y agoI think it depends on the chapter length. 1. While I'm inside a chapter, I'll keep reading until the end of the chapter. 2. When I'm at the end of a chapter, I will stop if (and only if) I feel that I cannot invest the time to start the next chapter right now. So short chapters are bad because I will just keep going ("oh come on, only two more pages") and long chapters are bad because I will not even start them. The sweet spot for me was two years ago when I read www.hpmor.com.
- badwolf 10y agofor me it's more: 1. While inside a chapter, I'll just finish this chapter... 2. At the end of the chapter "oh, I gotta find out what happens. Just one more quick chapter..."
- badwolf 10y agoI can't do that. I get into a story, and go balls to the wall immersing myself in it. Next thing I know, it's 3am and I have a meeting at 8
- eyelidlessness 10y agoThis unfortunately ruined reading for me for a long time. I associated reading with sleep, and it became a pavlovian response: a few pages in, any time of day under any circumstances, I'd start to nod off.
- richie5um 10y agoI've had this too.
- CuriouslyC 10y agoThis is easy to fix. Just spend at least as much time reading on a treadmill or other exercise device as you do before bed and you will learn to discriminate very quickly.
- eyelidlessness 10y agoGood advice, but I bike for exercise. I doubt I can read and bike safely :)
- notduncansmith 10y agoYou could try a stationary bike.
- eyelidlessness 10y agoThat sounds like a significant downgrade.
- CuriouslyC 10y agoI suppose that depends on the quality of the material you're reading. I like the outdoors, but unless I'm somewhere that is both beautiful and novel, a good book makes my synapses buzz a lot more.
- mitchty 10y ago
- chongli 10y agoDoesn't work at all for me. I start reading and I can't stop. Next thing I know it's noon the next day and I'm done the book.
- r00fus 10y agoFor me it's reading things like astrophysics and cosmology. I find it peaceful to ponder that I'm a small part of a very large construct. Though I have a lot of interest in the field, the perspective really just puts my mind at ease. (Has to be dead-tree though - even a kindle has too much reminders of my work)
- xyzzy4 10y ago> Take a long walk, just for the sake of walking. That's very location-specific. Many cities are very pedestrian unfriendly, for example every city in India.
- sotojuan 10y agoHence the "or". If you can't walk, just lay down in peace for a bit or read a book.
- Normal_gaussian 10y agoWhich is unsurprising, as the author is relating their personal experience of 'unplugging'.
- jessaustin 10y ago...yet one observes many people walking in those same cities. Curious.
- Dylan16807 10y agoSomething can be unfriendly and almost impossible to relax during, while also capable of getting you places and probably not killed.
- xyzzy4 10y agoA lot of people are also walking around war zones such as in Aleppo. It doesn't make it safe, or something you'd want to do to relax.
- jessaustin 10y agoThis is an obnoxious comparison. Gaps in the sidewalk, open drains, etc. are annoying, but they don't threaten lives in the same way that e.g. barrel bombs do.
- xyzzy4 10y agoI don't like writing long posts on HN but there are a ton of reasons why it is very dangerous to walk around Indian cities at night due to risk of being hit by vehicles.
- kowdermeister 10y ago> Or lay down for 30 minutes and do nothing for a while. It was figured out a few thousand years ago and became known as meditation. When needed I found it a good tool, but unfortunately it haven't become a habit yet.
- sridca 10y ago> I think key to getting really good rest is to unplug. I know most people tend to sit on their phones or computer for a few hours. Some science suggest that isn't good rest because your nervous system is still being stimulated. Why is this (being stimulated) is a problem? Sleep already ensures that one gets a good rest.
- bogomipz 10y agoThey didn't say that stimulation was a problem. Short wavelength blue light from smart phones/computers affect circadian rhythms: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/q-a-why-is-blue-light-before-bedtime-bad-for-sleep/ http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/q-a-why-is-blue-li...
- MawNicker 10y agoIt is good to have a moment or two each day where I don't feel like I'm being watched. I do find myself unable to rest. Ever.
- dominotw 10y ago>Or lay down for 30 minutes and do nothing for a while. But you mind is never at rest. Its always thinking, ruminating. 'doing nothing' is impossible and absurd, you mind is always 'doing something' . A lot of people just mindlessly browse online or work too much because they don't want to deal with their own mind. Sure you can just chill and sit on the couch doing nothing, but thats relaxing only when you have the mental peace to do so. I don't think people mean what is implied by the article as 'rest'. Its not a time issue. How can you possibly be 'alone' if you are stressed out about job, health, money, relationships or whatever. Sitting on a wooden pier with an umbrella is not being 'alone' , its precisely the opposite .
- skrebbel 10y agoThis is why walking works. Dont bring your phone. It just keeps that minimum of distraction to not freak you out and that makes it easier to actually face what's on your mind, to some extent.
- sirtaj 10y agoTurning off the continuous thought-churn and "stopping" the conscious mind is a large part of what meditation is for, at least to begin with. The reason they ask you to catch your thoughts and refocus them to a single point - the air travelling through your nose as you breathe, for example - is to teach you how to do exactly that. It takes time and practice but most people can do it.
- dominotw 10y ago>Turning off the continuous thought-churn and "stopping" the conscious mind is a large part of what meditation is for I never really understood the 'stopping' part, how is that even possible? At best you can simply refocus it to something you find peaceful, if that is the case how is meditation any different from say watching a movie that you love or playing drums.
- tkxxx7 10y agoDon't you ever remember a time when you had a choice between thinking and not? If not, you're far overdue for some meditation.
- bkjsbkjdnf 10y agoThe real key to getting really good rest is some good kush.
- jmkni 10y agoI'm currently contracting at a location about an hours walk away from where I live, so am walking home every day while listening to music. Great for unplugging, and means I am recharged by the time I get home for an evening of non-work related hacking at code.
- jonplackett 10y agoI find that being home with anyone else in he house, even if they aren't interacting with me in any way, there's still a little part of my brain switched on to deal with it if they do say something. It's completely different when I know there's no way anyone can talk to me. I can focus so much better on whatever else I'm doing.
- kowdermeister 10y agoMy girlfriend left for a week, I can confirm this :)
- glandium 10y agoI have the opposite problem. I can totally switch off the part dealing with someone speaking to me, but then have to make them repeat when they do speak to me, because I didn't listen to it. (Interestingly, in many cases, my mind catches up and decodes what was said the first time before they finish saying it again)
- MrQuincle 10y agoBesides reading for me it's math. Just discovering a parallel universe without startup stuff, without fancy programming languages, without thinking of scale, focus, VCs. Just math and me.
- fma 10y agoI live in a city where driving is a must. I hate the commute but also use it as a time to rest. Don't be a rush, radio off and focus on driving. Don't swerve in and out of traffic...just stay in one lane, preferably towards the right where it's slower and follow the car in front. It brings distraction to a minimal, and I'm in my own enclosed world. I'm focus enough on driving but also allows for the brain to wander, or just do nothing.
- mrspeaker 10y agoI don't know how the whole "self-driving cars" thing will pan out, but it's the part of it that excites me the most... enforced rest time! I'm sure it won't last long and just become another place to do work - but at the beginning, while it's novel, it might be a nice place to be.
- dasmoth 10y agoI'm not so sure. Driving (okay, maybe not big-city start-stop driving) is somewhat relaxing because there's a kind of flow state involved with your mind focussed on the road ahead. Once the self-driving cars come along, we'll all be working on the commute.
- ashark 10y ago> Once the self-driving cars come along, we'll all be working on the commute. Or worse: reading Facebook and Buzzfeed. (and HN?) Imagine the effect all that extra free time to look at Internet ads will have on the tech giants' stock prices!
- sotojuan 10y agoDepends on the person. I don't work in my 20-30 min train commute. I just sit there and try to relax or listen to something.
- ehnto 10y agoDriving, showering, on the train when it's not busy. Places you are forced to disconnect and be in silence. A little less so with trains, but where I am from they are mostly silent places where you can read a book happily.
- imagex 10y agoAs ridiculous as it may sound to some, if I don't schedule time for rest, it doesn't happen. Otherwise there's a demand on my time and resources during every waking hour. Upvote for unplugging a bit each day, too.
- sverige 10y agoA couple years ago I took a job where I work alone 95% of the time, so even though I'm introverted, I now find that socializing a bit is very restful. Prior to that, though, I generally felt I was not getting enough rest.
- paulpauper 10y agoIt seems like we're def. in the 'era of the introvert'...more an more people are writing about being introverted, describing their experiences, to much approval. Decades ago, it seemed like extroverts were in control, but now that has flipped, and factors such the information/knowledge-based economy and intellectualism culture may be to blame.
- dasmoth 10y agoIf introverts were really "in control" I predict we'd see many fewer open plan offices! Counter-thesis: factors in modern society such as hyper-collaborative working practices have caused people who'd once have just been a bit quiet to think a lot more about what the introvert-extrovert axis means.
- jamisteven 10y agoCouldnt agree more - solitude is necessary for creativity.
- specialist 10y agoWhat's with the "collaborative" open offices? Now that we're passed peak Agile, is collaborative the next fad? It can't be cost. Primo office space is $30-$40/sqft/year. A 100 sqft personal office would cost $4000/year. I recently interviewed quite a few places. Big fancy modern offices. Common spaces. Foosball tables. And all the devs shoved into a corner, working shoulder to shoulder, desks facing each other. Like slaves on a war galley. I'm an extreme extrovert. Open offices suck. If you want me to be productive, give me some me space and me time for head's down uninterrupted concentration. While I'm ranting... "Agile" (whatever that is) and "collaborative" (ditto) are mutually exclusive. Cite: The Tyranny of Structurelessness essay. I really want to know where these whackadoodle ideas come from. Then maybe we can do something to mitigate it. I've assumed management self actualization blather is management's way of asserting their self-importance while screwing labor. Know your place you worthless keyboard monkey. More charitably, a bestie just went back to school (after 20 years) to wrap up her masters degree. She said the cultural change was jarring. Kids these days all work in groups, collaboration, special snowflakes, etc. Because that's how the "real world" operates. Is the "collaboration" fantasy an education meme which has infected know-nothing corporate management echelons?
- munificent 10y ago> People said that when they were on their own mostly they were focused on how they were feeling, so on their body or their emotions I've always been pretty introverted, and also a night person. I used to roll into work around 10:30 or so, after a long chill morning. When I got married and had kids, that schedule wasn't feasible any more. For a couple of years, I would set my alarm as late as I could get by with and then rush rush rush in the mornings to get my daughter ready and at day care and myself ready for work. That way, I could still be as much of a night person as I used to be. It was a disaster. I felt tense and unbalanced all day. Lots of fights with my wife. By the time the evening rolled around and the kid was in bed, I had a little free time, but I was too spent to do anything useful with it. At some point, due to commute changes, I ended up getting up at 6:00 to avoid the worst of rush hour. That was even worse. There's nothing quite like getting up early to stare at brake lights ahead of you for 45 minutes every morning to make you lose the will to live. When my commute fortunately got much better—a five minute drive—I decided to try keeping my 6am wake up time. Holy crap, it was amazing. I had a solid two hours before the wife or kids woke up. The house was silent and all mine. I could have a quiet cup of coffee, read a bit, work on projects. What I figured out is that, while I like being around people, my personality or sense of self kind of deflates during it. I don't have enough courage or force of will to be me in the presence of other people. Their own circles of identity sort of press into mine, and I'm not confident enough to easily push back all day. That solitary time in the morning is exactly what I need to reinflate my bubble. To sort of gather around myself a sense of who I am, and what it is about myself that I like and feel good about. When I have that time in the morning, I can go out into the day feeling a little more secure and insulated. Without it, I feel exposed. It's so worth becoming a morning person to get that feeling. (Alas, now my kids have to be at school earlier, so they are getting up shortly after me and I don't have much quiet time anymore. I'm tempted to try getting up even earlier, but getting up at five is really hard.)
- shostack 10y agoI'm a night owl who always wished I could become a morning person to reap the benefits for side projects, etc. My brain just doesn't seem to be wired that way and it revolts every time I try this, even for an extended period. Any tips for making it less painful?
- Ericson2314 10y agoOff topic, but I worry a lot of "unplugged cleanses" are also solitary affairs. Something that isn't rest, but is busy and social and sober and not electronic is probably also important.
- robotresearcher 10y agoPlaying semi-organized soccer, frisbee, etc. on a Sunday afternoon is the solution for millions if not billions of people. It's a way of life for whole communities and has been for generations.
- jschwartzi 10y agoI unplug at the gym.
- leksak 10y ago"Altogether, 18,000 people from 134 countries made time to take part in what was quite a lengthy survey devised by Hubbub - an international group of academics, artists, poets, and mental health experts - showing perhaps what a pressing issue rest is in the modern world." This is a poor conclusion. For one, 18,000 people isn't sufficient to draw any conclusions on a global level. It's a tiny sample of a relatively huge population. Furthermore, I think the ~795 million people is much more so a pressing issue. If we disregard the developing world, 18,000 people is not an adequately large sample to draw any such conclusions either. I'm glad that they are using the word "might" in the article and "may" in title, but I still regard the journalistic value of this piece as being really low. "A full analysis of the data will be published within the next year. It's already clear that it holds lessons for doctors. Callard points out that when doctors prescribe rest, not every patient will interpret the word in the same way." It doesn't hold factual lessons for anyone, it's too speculative. I'm hoping that people will be getting more rest either way. Is there a journalist watch-dog for when poorly designed studies such as this one is covered by the media in a manner such as this that can be alerted? Especially since BBC themselves were involved in the study.
- azernik 10y ago(Random) sampling error does not very according to the size of the total population; only according to the size of the sample. A sample of 18,000 from a population of 6 billion will have the same random errors as a sample of 18,000 from a population of 100 million. And 18,000 is a BIG sample. (This breaks down a bit when the sample size and the total population size get very close, and does not include sources of sampling error other than random variation - e.g. biased sampling, which I would be more worried about in a global study like this.)
- leksak 10y agoThat was part of my point, I was not sufficiently convinced that the sampling was conducted over a satisfying number of different living situations. Rest is simply not a luxury that a lot of people can even concern themselves with as they have no concept of leisure time (or at least not an opportunity to enjoy it). That does not invalidate the statement that being alone may be the key to rest, but it should point out that drawing the conclusions that the article alludes to about the scale of the issue is shoddy. > [...] showing perhaps what a pressing issue rest is in the modern world. Even if the concept of "modern" world precludes areas suffering from famine, I am not convinced that it should be considered a pressing issue.
- stephengillie 10y agoThere is "on" time and "off" time. During "on" time, you are customer-facing. You're performing a service - normally what you would consider doing your job. But you're physically visible to customers, or they're directly waiting for your responses, like on a phone call. You're so visible in this fish bowl that you're like an actor or news anchor, and must be mindful of every action. Some jobs, like retail checkers or bartenders, are "on" for most of their work shift. In a way, it's like P time. Other jobs are "off" jobs, where you're never seen by customers. This is time spent "in the workshop", building demos, displays, and developing presentation. It's like NP time, and any communications are asynchronous. You don't see customers, sometimes don't see coworkers or boss, and might even get to be alone. Many jobs have a mix of "on" time and "off" time - where you may take a client call, then work independently to make what the client wants.
- petre 10y agoThis is crap. Can't rest. without her.
- crobertsbmw 10y ago18,000 people? That makes me thing they threw this up amazons Mechanical Turk, which makes me think that the data might be off. Although the theory seems sound.
- ap22213 10y agoHell is other people -Sartre I'm sure many of you felt it. you're walking along a trail deep in a forest. And, your conscious mind has faded a bit. Maybe you're humming to yourself, or talking to yourself, or just zoning out. And, then you see a figure way ahead of you, coming nearer. And, something changes - some 'identity' snaps back into the front of your consciousness, and you start to feel the tension. The 'you' who is not you takes control, and it's a bit of an uncomfortable feeling. It's something that we have to do daily, almost all day long, and it's very, very tiring.
- Prad 10y agoI personally don't find that being around others is very restful. At work or social gatherings, I'm not always involved in the conversation but there is a chance I could be so I end up listening. And other times, I could be completely alone and my mind wanders. My mind like yours is always thinking. I don't find that very restful. I think for me, reading an article/comic book or watching an interesting video is restful. I was thinking yoga or meditation are probably really good methods of rest.
- muyuu 10y agoPost-nookie relaxation does it for me.