7 ms·

I hate this whole mystery method and all the cultural assumptions that go along with it. I applaud the author for attacking it, but I'll take it one step furthe

by keefe 17y ago

I hate this whole mystery method and all the cultural assumptions that go along with it. I applaud the author for attacking it, but I'll take it one step further. There's nothing wrong with promiscuity. Sex is good - if you want to fuck hundreds of people, do so and please use a condom every time. In my experience, women like sex and hate being treated like objects. Here's a "pickup method" that'll have even MORE success than the awesome mystery method : 1) Join a gym. Workout a lot until you have big muscles. This won't take you more than half a year. 2) During that half a year, take up meditation and contemplate your past relationships, your parents, your childhood. Write about it in a journal and become at peace with who you are. Think about what you want. 3) During that time too, concentrate on your career. Get it all laid out in front of you. Now, you've made yourself as attractive as possible. Next up, find random women - on craigslist, on okcupid, on the street. Talk to them. Treat them like equal human beings and never, ever deceive them. If you want sex but no commitment yet, tell them when that comes up. There will be some more waiting, sure. Waiting is until fullness. After a while, you will get to the point where you are in good shape, you've got a good career, you're emotionally stable and you deal with women honestly and see things from their point of view. If you do this, you'll never have trouble finding someone to sleep with. Maybe you can get someone slightly "hotter" and stupider by deceiving people? However, in my 8 years of living with X1 and my 2 years of living with X2 and the single-ness in between, I've noticed there are all kinds of different types of sex. Sometimes, it's just mutual masturbation. Sometimes, sex is a transcendent experience. For me, the experience is always improved with honesty and destroyed by lying. I may not necessarily believe in monogamy anymore, but I believe sex is an expression of love. Love can last a day or a week or a month and it comes so easily when we give up on lying.

nopassrecover 17y ago
I never got the impression these methods were designed as deception. Some guys have a lot of mental baggage that has been hammered into them that is ultimately going to get in the way of them being a man and by focusing on things like acting confident and giving the impression of someone who has their life together they can hopefully gain real confidence and a real life.
nailer 17y ago
> Here's a "pickup method" that'll have even MORE success than the awesome mystery method : > 1) Join a gym. Workout a lot until you have big muscles. This won't take you more than half a year. > 2) During that half a year, take up meditation and contemplate your past relationships, your parents, your childhood. Write about it in a journal and become at peace with who you are. Think about what you want. > 3) During that time too, concentrate on your career. Get it all laid out in front of you. That's a subset of most PUA techniques (except contemplating your childhood - contemplating past relationships and attempts at them is definitely in). If you add removing the approach fear, and developing your sense of humor and ability to come up with interesting conversations, congratulations, you're now an unethical PUA and will get angry people writing blog posts about you.
- keefe 17y ago
  The idea of approach fear is so foreign to me that I didn't even consider it... of course you have to approach women? Anyway, I see nothing wrong with cultivating sexual relationships. I see the PUA as a man who approaches women who are interested in monogamy and paints himself as also interested in a monogamous relationship or otherwise uses deception to "score" rather than cultivate a new, healthy sexual relationship.
  - nailer 17y ago
    I think there's a truth to both: other men have approach anxiety, so just concentrate on dealing with that before they have anything useful to say. As a result, they used 'canned openers' which have given these guys the worst rep. But they do serve a purpose, and every one of the PUA guys encourages and pushes people to move beyond these as soon as possible.
colinplamondon 17y ago
Most of the pickup stuff is really nothing more than presenting yourself in an optimized light. Everyone has an elevator pitch for their business, very few people have an elevator pitch for themselves. Where are you from? What do you do? What's your story? Everyone has a routine for explaining their business, but in a bar or club very few people can get across why they're a cool person. That's because it's a skill that takes practice. Not thinking and meditating and writing, but rather going out, talking to strangers, and improving social skills one conversation at a time.
pbhjpbhj 17y ago
>There's nothing wrong with promiscuity. Sex is good - if you want to fuck hundreds of people, do so and please use a condom every time. Don't forget that condoms won't protect you from all socially or sexually communicable disease nor are they a guarantee against pregnancy. >Now, you've made yourself as attractive as possible. Women are often attracted to selfish bastards (and I don't use the term lightly); the sort that would effectively rob your grandma to make a sale. I think you're over simplifying too much.
- keefe 17y ago
  I think you should widen your social circle a little and just avoid women like that...
raganwald 17y ago
> 1) Join a gym. Workout a lot until you have big muscles. This won't take you more than half a year. I'm sure you're being sincere with this advice, but I think there's a major pitfall to be considered with joining a gym. If you're joining a gym to make yourself more attractive so you can meet people, you are already on the road to hell. What is the difference between big muscles and a hair implant? I see happy couples who are short, who have acne, who are obese. I myself have a serious receding hairline that is merging with my bald spot as we speak. Join a gym if you don't like your body for YOUR reasons, not because you think it will increase your chances. You don't need a 'nice' body to meet people. On the other hand... If you find a sporting activity you enjoy, do it 3-4x per week and don't worry about your body. It will morph itself into something fine. And you'll enjoy yourself, and that enjoyment is infectious. People of both sexes naturally gravitate towards people who are doing something they enjoy. Co-ed activities like Tennis, Surfing, Ultimate, Rock Climbing, and so on are all amazing ways to meet people if you are sincerely enjoying yourself. Climbing gyms are redolent with sexual tension, you could cut it with a knife. And after six months, just look at yourself in the mirror and tell me you don't like what you see! The key is to keep looking until you find something you sincerely enjoy. You'll meet lots of other people who sincerely enjoy it to and you won't need any "game" or "rules" to meet someone wonderful.
- keefe 17y ago
  Big muscles are certainly more useful than a hair implant and it's shown over and over that being very fit effectively slows down the aging process. Well, maybe I'm also making the assumption that most guys are like me. I want girls that are either skinny or athletic, that's what I find to be the most beautiful. I would be a huge hypocrite if I was turned on by fit women and didn't workout a lot myself, you know?
- HeyLaughingBoy 17y ago
  There's nothing wrong with doing things to increase your self confidence. For some people, a good-looking body can be one of those things. In the end, it's a self-correcting mechanism: the ones who are doing it just for others will lose interest after a few months. Doing it for yourself can keep you going for years. For me, weightlifting was the activity I enjoyed. It started out as me being really skinny and wanting to gain weight, but got to the point that being muscular was just a pleasant side effect. The true enjoyment came from the endorphin release of moving heavy weight, the satisfaction of getting stronger every week and just knowing that there was a direct correlation between how hard I worked and what results I achieved. Where I take issue is okeefe's comment about not wanting to be a hypocrite. You like what you like; it's not hypocritical to be attracted to someone slender and athletic if you are overweight and out of shape. FWIW, I have never cared much about what people look like. If I like someone enough I will probably find her attractive - that's been proven to me time and time again and the range over which it holds is pretty surprising.
yummyfajitas 17y ago
1) Join a gym. Workout a lot until you have big muscles. This won't take you more than half a year. How do you achieve results that fast? I've been working out seriously for about a year, and while I've improved, I hardly have "big muscles". Could you give me a pointer to detailed information on how to do this? As for "never, ever deceive", I'd qualify that. Never ever deceive a woman who isn't trying to deceive you. Many women are habitually dishonest and I see nothing unethical about playing the same game they are. All you'll get out of this is mutual masturbation combined with the thrill of "winning the game", but it can be fun for the short term.
- keefe 17y ago
  This is the approach I use, from what I believe is a reputable source : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-training/HQ01627 http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-training/HQ01627 Here's my opinion on fitness in a nutshell: 3200 calories=1lb of fat. 3200 more than you burn, gain a pound and vice versa. Muscles are made out of protein. Muscles grow by being broken down through exercise and then rebuilt. Train until failure so the muscle is broken down and then make sure you get a whole lot of protein into your body. Training is all about routine. Train every other day no more. Get into the habit. Analyze your diet and exercise profile using tools like nutritiondata.com I do see something unethical about playing the same game they do. For me, I don't lie because of a commitment to myself. If someone tries to deceive me, I will feel sorry for her and almost certainly stop interacting with her. I get no thrill out of "winning the game" and if it is mutual masturbation I need, I can set it up without deception.

by keefe 17y ago

nopassrecover 17y ago

I never got the impression these methods were designed as deception. Some guys have a lot of mental baggage that has been hammered into them that is ultimately going to get in the way of them being a man and by focusing on things like acting confident and giving the impression of someone who has their life together they can hopefully gain real confidence and a real life.

nailer 17y ago

> Here's a "pickup method" that'll have even MORE success than the awesome mystery method : > 1) Join a gym. Workout a lot until you have big muscles. This won't take you more than half a year. > 2) During that half a year, take up meditation and contemplate your past relationships, your parents, your childhood. Write about it in a journal and become at peace with who you are. Think about what you want. > 3) During that time too, concentrate on your career. Get it all laid out in front of you. That's a subset of most PUA techniques (except contemplating your childhood - contemplating past relationships and attempts at them is definitely in). If you add removing the approach fear, and developing your sense of humor and ability to come up with interesting conversations, congratulations, you're now an unethical PUA and will get angry people writing blog posts about you.

keefe 17y ago
The idea of approach fear is so foreign to me that I didn't even consider it... of course you have to approach women? Anyway, I see nothing wrong with cultivating sexual relationships. I see the PUA as a man who approaches women who are interested in monogamy and paints himself as also interested in a monogamous relationship or otherwise uses deception to "score" rather than cultivate a new, healthy sexual relationship.
- nailer 17y ago
  I think there's a truth to both: other men have approach anxiety, so just concentrate on dealing with that before they have anything useful to say. As a result, they used 'canned openers' which have given these guys the worst rep. But they do serve a purpose, and every one of the PUA guys encourages and pushes people to move beyond these as soon as possible.

colinplamondon 17y ago

Most of the pickup stuff is really nothing more than presenting yourself in an optimized light. Everyone has an elevator pitch for their business, very few people have an elevator pitch for themselves. Where are you from? What do you do? What's your story? Everyone has a routine for explaining their business, but in a bar or club very few people can get across why they're a cool person. That's because it's a skill that takes practice. Not thinking and meditating and writing, but rather going out, talking to strangers, and improving social skills one conversation at a time.

pbhjpbhj 17y ago

>There's nothing wrong with promiscuity. Sex is good - if you want to fuck hundreds of people, do so and please use a condom every time. Don't forget that condoms won't protect you from all socially or sexually communicable disease nor are they a guarantee against pregnancy. >Now, you've made yourself as attractive as possible. Women are often attracted to selfish bastards (and I don't use the term lightly); the sort that would effectively rob your grandma to make a sale. I think you're over simplifying too much.

keefe 17y ago
I think you should widen your social circle a little and just avoid women like that...

raganwald 17y ago

> 1) Join a gym. Workout a lot until you have big muscles. This won't take you more than half a year. I'm sure you're being sincere with this advice, but I think there's a major pitfall to be considered with joining a gym. If you're joining a gym to make yourself more attractive so you can meet people, you are already on the road to hell. What is the difference between big muscles and a hair implant? I see happy couples who are short, who have acne, who are obese. I myself have a serious receding hairline that is merging with my bald spot as we speak. Join a gym if you don't like your body for YOUR reasons, not because you think it will increase your chances. You don't need a 'nice' body to meet people. On the other hand... If you find a sporting activity you enjoy, do it 3-4x per week and don't worry about your body. It will morph itself into something fine. And you'll enjoy yourself, and that enjoyment is infectious. People of both sexes naturally gravitate towards people who are doing something they enjoy. Co-ed activities like Tennis, Surfing, Ultimate, Rock Climbing, and so on are all amazing ways to meet people if you are sincerely enjoying yourself. Climbing gyms are redolent with sexual tension, you could cut it with a knife. And after six months, just look at yourself in the mirror and tell me you don't like what you see! The key is to keep looking until you find something you sincerely enjoy. You'll meet lots of other people who sincerely enjoy it to and you won't need any "game" or "rules" to meet someone wonderful.

keefe 17y ago
Big muscles are certainly more useful than a hair implant and it's shown over and over that being very fit effectively slows down the aging process. Well, maybe I'm also making the assumption that most guys are like me. I want girls that are either skinny or athletic, that's what I find to be the most beautiful. I would be a huge hypocrite if I was turned on by fit women and didn't workout a lot myself, you know?
HeyLaughingBoy 17y ago
There's nothing wrong with doing things to increase your self confidence. For some people, a good-looking body can be one of those things. In the end, it's a self-correcting mechanism: the ones who are doing it just for others will lose interest after a few months. Doing it for yourself can keep you going for years. For me, weightlifting was the activity I enjoyed. It started out as me being really skinny and wanting to gain weight, but got to the point that being muscular was just a pleasant side effect. The true enjoyment came from the endorphin release of moving heavy weight, the satisfaction of getting stronger every week and just knowing that there was a direct correlation between how hard I worked and what results I achieved. Where I take issue is okeefe's comment about not wanting to be a hypocrite. You like what you like; it's not hypocritical to be attracted to someone slender and athletic if you are overweight and out of shape. FWIW, I have never cared much about what people look like. If I like someone enough I will probably find her attractive - that's been proven to me time and time again and the range over which it holds is pretty surprising.

yummyfajitas 17y ago

1) Join a gym. Workout a lot until you have big muscles. This won't take you more than half a year. How do you achieve results that fast? I've been working out seriously for about a year, and while I've improved, I hardly have "big muscles". Could you give me a pointer to detailed information on how to do this? As for "never, ever deceive", I'd qualify that. Never ever deceive a woman who isn't trying to deceive you. Many women are habitually dishonest and I see nothing unethical about playing the same game they are. All you'll get out of this is mutual masturbation combined with the thrill of "winning the game", but it can be fun for the short term.

keefe 17y ago
This is the approach I use, from what I believe is a reputable source : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-training/HQ01627 http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-training/HQ01627 Here's my opinion on fitness in a nutshell: 3200 calories=1lb of fat. 3200 more than you burn, gain a pound and vice versa. Muscles are made out of protein. Muscles grow by being broken down through exercise and then rebuilt. Train until failure so the muscle is broken down and then make sure you get a whole lot of protein into your body. Training is all about routine. Train every other day no more. Get into the habit. Analyze your diet and exercise profile using tools like nutritiondata.com I do see something unethical about playing the same game they do. For me, I don't lie because of a commitment to myself. If someone tries to deceive me, I will feel sorry for her and almost certainly stop interacting with her. I get no thrill out of "winning the game" and if it is mutual masturbation I need, I can set it up without deception.