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The assumption is that the scammers parents would react in a way that would make a meaningful difference and the very fact that the scammer is a scammer to me c
by nxzero 10y ago
The assumption is that the scammers parents would react in a way that would make a meaningful difference and the very fact that the scammer is a scammer to me calls this into question.
Best way to express your opinion about something with someone is directly, not by asking their parents to do so for you.
- hoodoof 10y agoDo you have kids? My experience of kids is that they are greatly influenced by how their parents see their behaviour. Unless of course the parents have not built good relationship with their children, in which case the kids might not care a hoot what the parents think.
- nxzero 10y ago>> "My experience of kids is that they are greatly influenced by how their parents see their behavior." Exactly, which is why it's very possible that the scammer behavior was learned from by the kid from their parents. I actively engage people around me. I've tried the whole talking to parents way, and if you don't know them it's not uncommon for the response to be to mind your own business or worse, "Fuck you, I know how to raise my kids." Beyond that, I've found that a number of parents with "good relationships" over estimate that the relationship is based on authority, not respect. This becomes obvious when the parent no longer has any authority over their children.
- duaneb 10y agoAssuming that the parent doesn't care helps nobody, though. At least allow the parent to fail.
- nxzero 10y agoThe parent "caring" and making a meaningful positive difference are not the same things. Allowing the parent to fail might be super negative for the scammer too. For example, parents withdrawal of financial support for his education, kicking them out, reporting them to the police, or worse, the kid commits suicide; if you read the kids responses, it's very clear they're not stable. Fine with you disagreeing with my experiences of helping people, but please be careful in how you apply your approach in the real world.
- thatfrenchguy 10y ago"Exactly, which is why it's very possible that the scammer behavior was learned from by the kid from their parents. " Kids do stupid stuff, always. Doesn't mean they want their parent to figure out.
- loeg 10y agoHe's 22, not 9.
- eggy 10y agoExactly this. Kid? At 22? I left home at 17, and knew full well when I was doing wrong before that. He is an adult, and the sooner he is treated as one, the sooner he might straighten out. Definitely tell the parents. If the parents come back with, "Mind your own @$!%ng business!" then I would inform the police.
- hoodoof 10y agoThe the police is who should be told.
- nxzero 10y agoIdea that the police would help is what it is. I personally don't know anyone in law enforcement or criminal law that would ever agree that turning their own kid over to the police was something they'd do. Sure, "call the police" works if there's not another answer or you live a sheltered life, but to me, this is the very reason that communities are failing.
- pbhjpbhj 10y agoI'm not sure of your point, without tone it doesn't come across at all. People can become even more concerned to win their parents approval as they grow through adulthood. When I think of the things I've done as an adult that I'm least proud of then I wouldn't want to tell my parents about them. As a child with no experience you've got an excuse for your mistakes. As an adult choosing to scam people the only places you've got to hide seem to be anonymity and sociopathy.
- farhaven 10y agoI don't know, I'm 27 but for a lot of major decisions in my life, "what would mom and dad say about this" has been a factor.
- 10y ago
- frogpelt 10y agoThe very fact that he asked for his parents not to be told probably means telling them would make a difference. Unless that was more scammer bait to distract from the original intent to tell the police.
- reddytowns 10y agoIf the kid acted in that way in response to his interactions with his peer group, then his parents could most definitely have an effect .