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I think you might want to step back and ask yourself what you expect life to offer you and if those expectations are too high. Sounds like a great life, and you

I think you might want to step back and ask yourself what you expect life to offer you and if those expectations are too high. Sounds like a great life, and you seem to be letting the beautiful things slip through the cracks, because you're judging them not good enough.

AndrewKemendo 10y ago
At a certain point you realize that experiences and stuff are equally as meaningless in the end.
- terryf 10y ago
  In a finite physical universe, nothing has intrinsic meaning. The only meaning anything has, is the meaning that you attribute to that thing. Thus, anything that is meaningful to you, is the most meaningful thing in the universe. No goal is better than any other, because there is no universally defined "better", everything just "is". Therefore, you are free to say that the goal you have chosen is better than any other, and you would be correct, because just by choosing it, you have changed the balance.
  - noobermin 10y ago
    >In a finite physical universe I am pretty existential too, so I agree with you generally...but I'm not sure what this clause has to do with the rest of what you said.
    - terryf 10y ago
      - finite: Infinity is weird. It's very hard to make arguments that hold when infinite resources are in the picture. Finite also includes the time dimension. If you have infinite time and/or space, intrinsic meaning may be possible, but I really have no idea. - physical: That there is no other plane of existence to progress towards, heaven or enlightenment or anything else similar to those. - universe: Whatever it is that we inhabit - multiverse, universe, inside of a black hole, we're not quite sure yet as far as I understand the physics (which isn't very far at all unfortunately. It is fascinating though)
      - pbhjpbhj 10y ago
        In your second clause i think perhaps you mean materialist[|ic] (or maybe physicalist) not physical. A soul, heaven, or other spiritual entities or spaces, aren't necessarily incompatible with a physical universe.
        terryf 10y ago
        'tis a fair point, thanks.
  - AndrewKemendo 10y ago
    I agree in principal, Hence, why I suggested Camus in my original comment. But what happens when you can't attribute meaning to anything? Do you revert to religion or suicide (Those were the three options for camus)?
    - terryf 10y ago
      Yeah, I know that feeling - it is hard to get past it when it happens and it certainly takes a while for me every time it happens. This is certainly not a universal cure, but for me the ideas presented in this ted talk have helped: https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy?language=en https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy?... So, set a goal and work towards that - but, looking at your profile that suggestion seems trite and silly, because you are and have been doing that for some time. Doing difficult things falls into the same category. My suggestion would be to pick something completely pointless - something that you could easily pay someone to do for you, better than you have time-skill for and then do that. For example, I'm building a house. Fairly big, not huge, wooden. I have no training in it and it has taken 5 years of evenings and weekends so far. Any reasonable construction team would have finished in 6 months and it would have had better quality of work. I love it - it makes me happy to look at the small bit that I finished yesterday and somehow it gives me a sense of purpose. Maybe it's just a distraction - something to keep away the existential dread, but so what, because nothing has intrinsic value, this purpose is the best possible purpose for me.
      - AndrewKemendo 10y ago
        Thanks for the suggestion. I'll look into it!
      - brokenmachine 10y ago
        As an IT person, I am slightly jealous of people who can, at the end of the day, point at a physical thing that they have created. At the end of my day I often feel that I have just kept the cogs grinding for another day. I do feel that my work is "important", and I'm good at it, and the money surely improves my quality of life, but it'd sure be nice to be outside sometimes in the real world digging a hole or planting a tree or something, not just the endless arranging of remote electrons.
- noobermin 10y ago
  terryf has a fantastic comment, but what end are you talking about, death? A good way of figuring out what you value is considering if you die tomorrow, why wouldn't you (assuming you aren't suicidal). If you really don't matter either way then why not just do the thing that feels good?
  - AndrewKemendo 10y ago
    Well that's essentially what I do - with an over current of dread. I think if I could afford it I would probably be a habitual heroin user. From what I read, it seems to push all of the same biochemical "happiness" and "fulfillment" buttons as all of the other relationship/activity/experience things that people like to do, albeit with some side effects.
    - goldenkey 10y ago
      Hahaha. Easily said by someone who has never done opiates. Drugs aren't the creme de la creme either. Nothing grand stays grand. Drugs come with tolerance and general malaise.
    - icebraining 10y ago
      They do, for a few minutes; the rest of the time, everything becomes even worse. And the experience is never quite like the first times, even by pushing up the doses. At least, that's what the users and ex-users I've known describe. Personally, I wouldn't trade even a life of quiet desperation for that.
    - neverknowsbest 10y ago
      Other replies were a little salty, and I can only say from personal experience------- but the awareness that you're out of it takes away some of the sanctuary of being high... especially if you're even moderately comfortable (in life, in mind, etc). Feels like you didn't come by it honest, and ruins it some. On the other hand, if you're stuck in a shithole with a metric tonne of inner demons, it's pretty much tops. Contentment, opiates. Happiness... like that innocent 'AHHHHH TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS!' joy, I'd say MDMA instead
  - 10y ago
- whybroke 10y ago
  'Realize' is a strong claim, experiences may indeed be meaningless or they may not be. How could anyone ever prove one way or another? But if one could be convinced they were indeed meaningful, it might provide an avenue for happiness. May I ask is it possible you desire something to desire?
  - AndrewKemendo 10y ago
    is it possible you desire something to desire? That's an interesting philosophical ouroboros.
    - whybroke 10y ago
      Yes but it's also a practical psychological question. A person can come to a mental state where nothing in life interests them yet they wish there was something they enjoyed. So, although possibly mundane, there is a point of view where the question "does anything in life have meaning" is less interesting than the question "is everything ok".
- reddytowns 10y ago
  This is exactly what I'm talking about. We are just biological organisms evolved over millions of years to simply continue the human race. Why would you expect to find meaning?
- nazgob 10y ago
  Could you elaborate? I'm in a place where stuff does not matter anymore (never did actually) and I try to focus on experiences. Is that path also a mistake?
  - dawson 10y ago
    If nothing matters to you, there are no mistakes.
  - AndrewKemendo 10y ago
    Dawson had an interesting response. I can't give you an answer. Maybe it will for you, maybe it won't. Beats not trying I suppose.

AndrewKemendo 10y ago

At a certain point you realize that experiences and stuff are equally as meaningless in the end.

terryf 10y ago
In a finite physical universe, nothing has intrinsic meaning. The only meaning anything has, is the meaning that you attribute to that thing. Thus, anything that is meaningful to you, is the most meaningful thing in the universe. No goal is better than any other, because there is no universally defined "better", everything just "is". Therefore, you are free to say that the goal you have chosen is better than any other, and you would be correct, because just by choosing it, you have changed the balance.
- noobermin 10y ago
  >In a finite physical universe I am pretty existential too, so I agree with you generally...but I'm not sure what this clause has to do with the rest of what you said.
  - terryf 10y ago
    - finite: Infinity is weird. It's very hard to make arguments that hold when infinite resources are in the picture. Finite also includes the time dimension. If you have infinite time and/or space, intrinsic meaning may be possible, but I really have no idea. - physical: That there is no other plane of existence to progress towards, heaven or enlightenment or anything else similar to those. - universe: Whatever it is that we inhabit - multiverse, universe, inside of a black hole, we're not quite sure yet as far as I understand the physics (which isn't very far at all unfortunately. It is fascinating though)
    - pbhjpbhj 10y ago
      In your second clause i think perhaps you mean materialist[|ic] (or maybe physicalist) not physical. A soul, heaven, or other spiritual entities or spaces, aren't necessarily incompatible with a physical universe.
      - terryf 10y ago
        'tis a fair point, thanks.
- AndrewKemendo 10y ago
  I agree in principal, Hence, why I suggested Camus in my original comment. But what happens when you can't attribute meaning to anything? Do you revert to religion or suicide (Those were the three options for camus)?
  - terryf 10y ago
    Yeah, I know that feeling - it is hard to get past it when it happens and it certainly takes a while for me every time it happens. This is certainly not a universal cure, but for me the ideas presented in this ted talk have helped: https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy?language=en https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy?... So, set a goal and work towards that - but, looking at your profile that suggestion seems trite and silly, because you are and have been doing that for some time. Doing difficult things falls into the same category. My suggestion would be to pick something completely pointless - something that you could easily pay someone to do for you, better than you have time-skill for and then do that. For example, I'm building a house. Fairly big, not huge, wooden. I have no training in it and it has taken 5 years of evenings and weekends so far. Any reasonable construction team would have finished in 6 months and it would have had better quality of work. I love it - it makes me happy to look at the small bit that I finished yesterday and somehow it gives me a sense of purpose. Maybe it's just a distraction - something to keep away the existential dread, but so what, because nothing has intrinsic value, this purpose is the best possible purpose for me.
    - AndrewKemendo 10y ago
      Thanks for the suggestion. I'll look into it!
    - brokenmachine 10y ago
      As an IT person, I am slightly jealous of people who can, at the end of the day, point at a physical thing that they have created. At the end of my day I often feel that I have just kept the cogs grinding for another day. I do feel that my work is "important", and I'm good at it, and the money surely improves my quality of life, but it'd sure be nice to be outside sometimes in the real world digging a hole or planting a tree or something, not just the endless arranging of remote electrons.
noobermin 10y ago
terryf has a fantastic comment, but what end are you talking about, death? A good way of figuring out what you value is considering if you die tomorrow, why wouldn't you (assuming you aren't suicidal). If you really don't matter either way then why not just do the thing that feels good?
- AndrewKemendo 10y ago
  Well that's essentially what I do - with an over current of dread. I think if I could afford it I would probably be a habitual heroin user. From what I read, it seems to push all of the same biochemical "happiness" and "fulfillment" buttons as all of the other relationship/activity/experience things that people like to do, albeit with some side effects.
  - goldenkey 10y ago
    Hahaha. Easily said by someone who has never done opiates. Drugs aren't the creme de la creme either. Nothing grand stays grand. Drugs come with tolerance and general malaise.
  - icebraining 10y ago
    They do, for a few minutes; the rest of the time, everything becomes even worse. And the experience is never quite like the first times, even by pushing up the doses. At least, that's what the users and ex-users I've known describe. Personally, I wouldn't trade even a life of quiet desperation for that.
  - neverknowsbest 10y ago
    Other replies were a little salty, and I can only say from personal experience------- but the awareness that you're out of it takes away some of the sanctuary of being high... especially if you're even moderately comfortable (in life, in mind, etc). Feels like you didn't come by it honest, and ruins it some. On the other hand, if you're stuck in a shithole with a metric tonne of inner demons, it's pretty much tops. Contentment, opiates. Happiness... like that innocent 'AHHHHH TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS!' joy, I'd say MDMA instead
- 10y ago
whybroke 10y ago
'Realize' is a strong claim, experiences may indeed be meaningless or they may not be. How could anyone ever prove one way or another? But if one could be convinced they were indeed meaningful, it might provide an avenue for happiness. May I ask is it possible you desire something to desire?
- AndrewKemendo 10y ago
  is it possible you desire something to desire? That's an interesting philosophical ouroboros.
  - whybroke 10y ago
    Yes but it's also a practical psychological question. A person can come to a mental state where nothing in life interests them yet they wish there was something they enjoyed. So, although possibly mundane, there is a point of view where the question "does anything in life have meaning" is less interesting than the question "is everything ok".
reddytowns 10y ago
This is exactly what I'm talking about. We are just biological organisms evolved over millions of years to simply continue the human race. Why would you expect to find meaning?
nazgob 10y ago
Could you elaborate? I'm in a place where stuff does not matter anymore (never did actually) and I try to focus on experiences. Is that path also a mistake?
- dawson 10y ago
  If nothing matters to you, there are no mistakes.
- AndrewKemendo 10y ago
  Dawson had an interesting response. I can't give you an answer. Maybe it will for you, maybe it won't. Beats not trying I suppose.