17 ms·

This jumped out at me: > “I’m trans, so I need to live somewhere progressive so I feel safe day-to-day and don’t feel like I’m going to get beat up for using t

This jumped out at me: > “I’m trans, so I need to live somewhere progressive so I feel safe day-to-day and don’t feel like I’m going to get beat up for using the wrong restroom.” This is a pretty damn good reason to live somewhere like Seattle or Boston, and a pretty damn good reason not to live somewhere like (edit:) North Carolina or Tennessee or Georgia. The reality is that many of us are limited by not wanting to live in a city or state that basically wants us dead. The fact that tech companies tend to be clustered around progressive, blue areas is a major advantage. It's easy to say "just move to the middle of nowhere!" if you're privileged enough to not worry about these things. But some of us kind of want to keep our asses safe and, honestly, alive.

initram 10y ago
For me it's not only about being safe. I don't have to worry too much about that sort of thing because I blend in most places in my country. But I've lived where people had different values than me and it just gets exhausting. Constantly being bombarded with messages you fundamentally disagree with 24/7. Billboards; local TV; newpapers/web sites; overhearing conversations of the people around you; having odd things said to you; day in and day out. I don't mind that other people have different values than me. But I do mind having to be constantly surrounded by it and having nowhere to go to get away from it. I can't imagine what it's like to have that issue and also fear for your safety on a daily basis. That sucks and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
- rpazyaquian 10y ago
  It does suck. That's a big reason why we can't just concentrate progressivism in pinpoint areas like New England or Washington State. We need sweeping, national change in order for things to really get better.
  - api 10y ago
    The urban/rural liberal/conservative cosmopolitan/tribal divide goes back to Roman times at least.
    - akshatpradhan 10y ago
      This post reminded me of this interesting 2 min video by ASAPScience about City vs Rural living: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRb52O76HxQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRb52O76HxQ
- dionidium 10y ago
  This really hits home for me. I grew up in rural Missouri where people can be pretty casual about a racist or homophobic slur, so you're often in a position where you have to decide if a confrontation is worth it, while not wanting to provide the encouragement or consent that a polite smile might imply. But that's rural Missouri. As I said in my other comment, urban centers are more or less progressive places all over the country.
- abtinf 10y ago
  This is a major reason why I left the bay area.
- refurb 10y ago
  But I've lived where people had different values than me and it just gets exhausting. Really? I thought diversity was a good thing? I know I wouldn't want to live somewhere where everyone thought the same thing I did. Sounds boring.
  - vertex-four 10y ago
    So here's the thing - diversity of ideas is good, diversity of values is what people struggle with. As long as two people agree on where they're trying to go, they can disagree on the details of how to get there and still be perfectly happy - when either of them gets closer, both do. But, say you're a gun nut and the people surrounding you are decidedly anti-gun-ownership - there's no shared goal, and no obvious resolution to your differences. If the people surrounding you make progress towards their goal, it goes against yours. There's nothing to do but fight. And fighting is exhausting.
    - Erik816 10y ago
      Your example is one of a diversity of ideas. Some people have the idea that guns will keep them safe, others have the idea that guns will just bring on more violence. That is not a difference of values, because you can hold either position while valuing safety.
  - logfromblammo 10y ago
    Diversity is a good thing. It's what keeps one opinion from forming a supermajority and subsequently browbeating all non-aligned opinions into lonely silence. For instance, a lot of people around here enjoy football--so many, in fact, that it leads people to assume that everybody likes it. I don't. I think it's a fundamentally flawed sport, and not particularly interesting to watch. But since it's so popular, it's all that anyone ever seems to talk about, especially around the time of the big university rivalry game. After the last pro game in February, I breathe a sigh of relief, thinking it's done until late summer, and maybe the sportos will turn to baseball or soccer or volleyball or lacrosse or water polo as a topic of conversation. Nope. Let's instead immediately speculate on next football season. Do other sports even exist around here? Can we talk about both Team Whyachi bots getting knocked out of the Battlebots tournament early? Maybe talk about non-Democrat and non-Republican political issues? Maybe you've read a book lately? No? All you know is football? Oh, great; you can also talk about how you go to your conservative Protestant Christian church more than once in any given week. This is why the spouse and I actually got excited to see a guy with visible piercings and tattoos. And to hear two lesbians with hideously thick Bostonian accents celebrate at a game. It's even sort of interesting to hear grown-ass adults talk about catching Pokemon. When everyone is the same, doing and saying the same thing, it is so tediously boring that it hurts. That is exhausting.
- logfromblammo 10y ago
  It's bad enough when people say "buggy" instead of "cart" or "coke" or "soda" instead of "pop". I can only imagine how much faster my social stamina would be depleted if everyone around me were constantly arguing about whether it would be better if I didn't exist at all, or if I just went far away, never to return.
  - justinlardinois 10y ago
    I was with you until you said that "pop" was your preferred terminology.
  - Aloha 10y ago
    I travel frequently - I just call it by whatever name its called locally.
dionidium 10y ago
It jumped out at me, too, but as a wild exaggeration that could only be made by somebody unfamiliar with a place like Kansas City. I live in St. Louis where there is a thriving gay community. It's a red state, but urban centers are reliably blue. I know people have this idea that our schools all teach creationism and gays aren't welcome, but it's simply not true.
- rpazyaquian 10y ago
  Kansas City only came to mind cause I was at the last RailsConf and thought that KC was actually in Kansas. Don't take me seriously on that one :p
  - cbr 10y ago
    Most of Kansas City (the metropolitan area) is in Missouri, but much of it is in Kansas. Legally it's two cities, Kansas City, MO, and Kansas City, KS.
- imsofuture 10y ago
  Yep, exactly. Same with the mountain west. That's fine with me though, I like the peace and quiet that I'm afforded -- and can do without hysterical urbanites as intolerant as the imagined middle america they fear.
Apocryphon 10y ago
Detroit is socially conservative?
- mklim 10y ago
  In my experience, yes. One of the biggest boons about moving from Metro Detroit to the Bay Area is that I don't get harassed in the street for being visibly gender non-conforming anymore. Detroit consistently votes Democrat but that's more to do with the unions than the social values.
mbillie1 10y ago
The people who will inevitably say things like "this is just oversensitivity" or "it's an exaggeration to act like a whole city is outside your comfort zone" are either unbelievably thick-skinned or simply live in a relatively insulated, homogenous environment. I'm a straight white married upper-middle-class man and there are decidedly places I feel very uncomfortable in the country (I am thinking of highly conservative small towns in the mountain west in my particular case, where I stand out visually). You might not visit them very often, but those places are real and the feeling of being an outsider is palpable. I can only imagine how much more influential that feeling would be if I were a minority in any way, not to mention one of the minorities it's still nearly de rigueur to overtly discriminate against.
- nostromo 10y ago
  Those rural mountain west folks feel just as odd and unsafe in New York City, btw. That feeling may or may not be an accurate representation of actual danger.
  - mbillie1 10y ago
    Totally agreed on both counts, but what matters really is whether you feel too uncomfortable to live in a place.
- rayiner 10y ago
  That's interesting. I'm a brown upper middle class male and i've never felt uncomfortable anywhere in the country. That includes rural parts of Illinois, Georgia, and Virginia. Americans are really warm and welcoming if you approach them on their own terms.
  - kevin_thibedeau 10y ago
    The majority of Americans are decent people but at least 10%-20% of them are inveterate racists who are only nice to your face. When these white folks are among "their own" the bigotry comes pouring out of their mouths. Who do you think nominated Trump? We should all be concerned that such a big slice of America sees nothing wrong with promoting a pugnacious narcissist fueled by a message of hatred. Just look at the healthy segment of evangelicals excusing his behavior even though the man hasn't a Christian bone in his body. All because Trump furthers their bigoted agenda.
smelterdemon 10y ago
I'm not sure Boston or Detroit are particularly good examples of the two types of cities you're trying to illustrate
- rpazyaquian 10y ago
  I'll admit not knowing much of anything about Detroit, but I'm not sure how Boston doesn't count as a relatively safe place for LGBT individuals.
  - smelterdemon 10y ago
    I'm sure Boston is fine in reality for LGBT individuals, it's just not the first city that springs to mind in terms of progressiveness. It's more stereotypically lunkheaded.
    - jolux 10y ago
      It's fine. MA was the first state to legalize gay marriage, and most of the population lives in and around Boston.
    - ecopoesis 10y ago
      Like most places, it depends were you are. Cambridge, Somerville or JP, no problem; but Southie and certain parts of Charlestown are not very evolved.
      - maneesh 10y ago
        Southie has changed a LOT in the last couple years...
    - themoonbus 10y ago
      Really? Because it is one of the most liberal cities in the US. Source: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/08/08/chart-of-the-week-the-most-liberal-and-conservative-big-cities/ http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/08/08/chart-of-the... , also I lived there for 25 years.
anti_dang 10y ago
Is this Tumblr.com right now? Are you kidding me?
nostromo 10y ago
Have you actually spent time in Raleigh or Atlanta? The idea that trans people are getting murdered in the street is just not correct. I'm gay and I've spent a lot of fun nights in Boise, Idaho because a gay friend of mine lives there with her wife. We always have a blast. She has a great career in Boise and I don't think she's experienced more homophobia there than when she lived in New York City. (I know she had at least one bad experience in NYC as she was cat-called once right before I met her and her then girlfriend.) I think a lot of coastal elites have no idea what they're talking about when they speak about the extreme danger of being different in middle-America.
- rpazyaquian 10y ago
  The difference is that North Carolina has HB2 and Massachusetts does not. Cities are great and all, but don't forget that state and federal laws take precedent over city ordinances.
  - dgacmu 10y ago
    Building on this, see, for example: http://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps/non_discrimination_laws http://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps/non_discrimination_laws (Note the states with little warning triangles, indicating that the state has passed legislation that prevents cities or other municipalities from enacting their own non-discrimination rules.)
  - akkartik 10y ago
    For others like me who were not aware of HB2: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/politics-government/article68401147.html http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/politics-government/ar...
  - DHMO 10y ago
    HB2 is ridiculousness. Everyone I know that lives in NC is upset about it. The only bright side is that it hasn't been and can't be enforced. Many don't know that HB2 also originally included provisions that took rights away from workers to sue for discrimination. Months after, they took that part out, but left the rest of HB2 intact. They could have just killed it, but the legislature was just too fucking stupid. In 2010, NC got the first Republican majority in their state legislature since 1900. They created HB2 in response to something completely innocuous, went completely off the rails, and have been in no way actually representing NC's citizens. Despite the NC Republicans Gerrymandering several years ago, they should be soundly defeated in all elections in the near future. It just won't be soon enough.
smt88 10y ago
You shouldn't make blanket statements about entire states you don't live in. Cities are liberal in every state.
- stonogo 10y ago
  I've been called 'nigger' more often in brief visits to downtown Nashville or Birmingham than I ever have during years of living in rural California. If those cities are liberal I shudder to imagine rural TN or AL.
  - smt88 10y ago
    And I've encountered more racism against me in Boston than any other US city. It's anecdotal to begin with, and it's not a reflection of all of Massachusetts or any other larger region. My point was just that the person who said to avoid the South due to proposed discriminatory laws was basing their judgment on something that doesn't reflect a particular city's tolerance or intolerance. There are intolerant people in the rural areas of every state, which is just a function of low levels of diversity and sometimes poor histories of education.
- dragonwriter 10y ago
  > Cities are liberal in every state. Cities are probably relatively liberal -- or at least, cosmopolitan -- in most parts of the country compared to non-urban areas nearby, but that doesn't mean that New York City, Atlanta, Kansas City (either of them), and San Francisco are all equally so. It doesn't even mean that cities in some regions aren't far more conservative and/or intolerant than non-urban areas in other regions.
merpnderp 10y ago
Oklahoma City has a very prominently placed trans officer. And hate crimes are harshly punished at the federal level. If it is dangerous for trans people outside of dark blue cities, the statistics aren't capturing it.
- honkhonkpants 10y ago
  They're not going to murder you, but in Oklahoma City a gay or trans person will be constantly told how people are going to pray for them. It's obnoxious.
  - merpnderp 10y ago
    That sounds really oppressive. Perhaps instead of moving, just tell people no thanks, f off, or mind your own business. And who are these people constantly saying they'll pray for them? A trans person walks into a store and people just start annoying them?
    - madgar 10y ago
      > A trans person walks into a store and people just start annoying them? You have to pay for what you want at the store. That involves a person. That person then tells that they're praying for you to be someone you aren't and never will be. Do you somehow not encounter people in your everyday life?
    - justinlardinois 10y ago
      > just tell people no thanks, f off, or mind your own business. Sounds like a good way to escalate an already uncomfortable situation. It's damned if you do, damned if you don't.
      - merpnderp 10y ago
        I offered three entirely different options. "No thank you" to politely decline the offer. "F off" to show your extreme displeasure. And "mind your own business" for public shaming. Holy crap do people project much.
rayiner 10y ago
If I were gay or trans, I'd actually be more worried about Boston than Atlanta. Boston is pretty provincial. And there is a very large and public LGBT population in Atlanta.

initram 10y ago

For me it's not only about being safe. I don't have to worry too much about that sort of thing because I blend in most places in my country. But I've lived where people had different values than me and it just gets exhausting. Constantly being bombarded with messages you fundamentally disagree with 24/7. Billboards; local TV; newpapers/web sites; overhearing conversations of the people around you; having odd things said to you; day in and day out. I don't mind that other people have different values than me. But I do mind having to be constantly surrounded by it and having nowhere to go to get away from it. I can't imagine what it's like to have that issue and also fear for your safety on a daily basis. That sucks and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

rpazyaquian 10y ago
It does suck. That's a big reason why we can't just concentrate progressivism in pinpoint areas like New England or Washington State. We need sweeping, national change in order for things to really get better.
- api 10y ago
  The urban/rural liberal/conservative cosmopolitan/tribal divide goes back to Roman times at least.
  - akshatpradhan 10y ago
    This post reminded me of this interesting 2 min video by ASAPScience about City vs Rural living: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRb52O76HxQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRb52O76HxQ
dionidium 10y ago
This really hits home for me. I grew up in rural Missouri where people can be pretty casual about a racist or homophobic slur, so you're often in a position where you have to decide if a confrontation is worth it, while not wanting to provide the encouragement or consent that a polite smile might imply. But that's rural Missouri. As I said in my other comment, urban centers are more or less progressive places all over the country.
abtinf 10y ago
This is a major reason why I left the bay area.
refurb 10y ago
But I've lived where people had different values than me and it just gets exhausting. Really? I thought diversity was a good thing? I know I wouldn't want to live somewhere where everyone thought the same thing I did. Sounds boring.
- vertex-four 10y ago
  So here's the thing - diversity of ideas is good, diversity of values is what people struggle with. As long as two people agree on where they're trying to go, they can disagree on the details of how to get there and still be perfectly happy - when either of them gets closer, both do. But, say you're a gun nut and the people surrounding you are decidedly anti-gun-ownership - there's no shared goal, and no obvious resolution to your differences. If the people surrounding you make progress towards their goal, it goes against yours. There's nothing to do but fight. And fighting is exhausting.
  - Erik816 10y ago
    Your example is one of a diversity of ideas. Some people have the idea that guns will keep them safe, others have the idea that guns will just bring on more violence. That is not a difference of values, because you can hold either position while valuing safety.
- logfromblammo 10y ago
  Diversity is a good thing. It's what keeps one opinion from forming a supermajority and subsequently browbeating all non-aligned opinions into lonely silence. For instance, a lot of people around here enjoy football--so many, in fact, that it leads people to assume that everybody likes it. I don't. I think it's a fundamentally flawed sport, and not particularly interesting to watch. But since it's so popular, it's all that anyone ever seems to talk about, especially around the time of the big university rivalry game. After the last pro game in February, I breathe a sigh of relief, thinking it's done until late summer, and maybe the sportos will turn to baseball or soccer or volleyball or lacrosse or water polo as a topic of conversation. Nope. Let's instead immediately speculate on next football season. Do other sports even exist around here? Can we talk about both Team Whyachi bots getting knocked out of the Battlebots tournament early? Maybe talk about non-Democrat and non-Republican political issues? Maybe you've read a book lately? No? All you know is football? Oh, great; you can also talk about how you go to your conservative Protestant Christian church more than once in any given week. This is why the spouse and I actually got excited to see a guy with visible piercings and tattoos. And to hear two lesbians with hideously thick Bostonian accents celebrate at a game. It's even sort of interesting to hear grown-ass adults talk about catching Pokemon. When everyone is the same, doing and saying the same thing, it is so tediously boring that it hurts. That is exhausting.
logfromblammo 10y ago
It's bad enough when people say "buggy" instead of "cart" or "coke" or "soda" instead of "pop". I can only imagine how much faster my social stamina would be depleted if everyone around me were constantly arguing about whether it would be better if I didn't exist at all, or if I just went far away, never to return.
- justinlardinois 10y ago
  I was with you until you said that "pop" was your preferred terminology.
- Aloha 10y ago
  I travel frequently - I just call it by whatever name its called locally.

dionidium 10y ago

It jumped out at me, too, but as a wild exaggeration that could only be made by somebody unfamiliar with a place like Kansas City. I live in St. Louis where there is a thriving gay community. It's a red state, but urban centers are reliably blue. I know people have this idea that our schools all teach creationism and gays aren't welcome, but it's simply not true.

rpazyaquian 10y ago
Kansas City only came to mind cause I was at the last RailsConf and thought that KC was actually in Kansas. Don't take me seriously on that one :p
- cbr 10y ago
  Most of Kansas City (the metropolitan area) is in Missouri, but much of it is in Kansas. Legally it's two cities, Kansas City, MO, and Kansas City, KS.
imsofuture 10y ago
Yep, exactly. Same with the mountain west. That's fine with me though, I like the peace and quiet that I'm afforded -- and can do without hysterical urbanites as intolerant as the imagined middle america they fear.

Apocryphon 10y ago

Detroit is socially conservative?

mklim 10y ago
In my experience, yes. One of the biggest boons about moving from Metro Detroit to the Bay Area is that I don't get harassed in the street for being visibly gender non-conforming anymore. Detroit consistently votes Democrat but that's more to do with the unions than the social values.

mbillie1 10y ago

The people who will inevitably say things like "this is just oversensitivity" or "it's an exaggeration to act like a whole city is outside your comfort zone" are either unbelievably thick-skinned or simply live in a relatively insulated, homogenous environment. I'm a straight white married upper-middle-class man and there are decidedly places I feel very uncomfortable in the country (I am thinking of highly conservative small towns in the mountain west in my particular case, where I stand out visually). You might not visit them very often, but those places are real and the feeling of being an outsider is palpable. I can only imagine how much more influential that feeling would be if I were a minority in any way, not to mention one of the minorities it's still nearly de rigueur to overtly discriminate against.

nostromo 10y ago
Those rural mountain west folks feel just as odd and unsafe in New York City, btw. That feeling may or may not be an accurate representation of actual danger.
- mbillie1 10y ago
  Totally agreed on both counts, but what matters really is whether you feel too uncomfortable to live in a place.
rayiner 10y ago
That's interesting. I'm a brown upper middle class male and i've never felt uncomfortable anywhere in the country. That includes rural parts of Illinois, Georgia, and Virginia. Americans are really warm and welcoming if you approach them on their own terms.
- kevin_thibedeau 10y ago
  The majority of Americans are decent people but at least 10%-20% of them are inveterate racists who are only nice to your face. When these white folks are among "their own" the bigotry comes pouring out of their mouths. Who do you think nominated Trump? We should all be concerned that such a big slice of America sees nothing wrong with promoting a pugnacious narcissist fueled by a message of hatred. Just look at the healthy segment of evangelicals excusing his behavior even though the man hasn't a Christian bone in his body. All because Trump furthers their bigoted agenda.

smelterdemon 10y ago

I'm not sure Boston or Detroit are particularly good examples of the two types of cities you're trying to illustrate

rpazyaquian 10y ago
I'll admit not knowing much of anything about Detroit, but I'm not sure how Boston doesn't count as a relatively safe place for LGBT individuals.
- smelterdemon 10y ago
  I'm sure Boston is fine in reality for LGBT individuals, it's just not the first city that springs to mind in terms of progressiveness. It's more stereotypically lunkheaded.
  - jolux 10y ago
    It's fine. MA was the first state to legalize gay marriage, and most of the population lives in and around Boston.
  - ecopoesis 10y ago
    Like most places, it depends were you are. Cambridge, Somerville or JP, no problem; but Southie and certain parts of Charlestown are not very evolved.
    - maneesh 10y ago
      Southie has changed a LOT in the last couple years...
  - themoonbus 10y ago
    Really? Because it is one of the most liberal cities in the US. Source: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/08/08/chart-of-the-week-the-most-liberal-and-conservative-big-cities/ http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/08/08/chart-of-the... , also I lived there for 25 years.

anti_dang 10y ago

Is this Tumblr.com right now? Are you kidding me?

nostromo 10y ago

Have you actually spent time in Raleigh or Atlanta? The idea that trans people are getting murdered in the street is just not correct. I'm gay and I've spent a lot of fun nights in Boise, Idaho because a gay friend of mine lives there with her wife. We always have a blast. She has a great career in Boise and I don't think she's experienced more homophobia there than when she lived in New York City. (I know she had at least one bad experience in NYC as she was cat-called once right before I met her and her then girlfriend.) I think a lot of coastal elites have no idea what they're talking about when they speak about the extreme danger of being different in middle-America.

rpazyaquian 10y ago
The difference is that North Carolina has HB2 and Massachusetts does not. Cities are great and all, but don't forget that state and federal laws take precedent over city ordinances.
- dgacmu 10y ago
  Building on this, see, for example: http://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps/non_discrimination_laws http://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps/non_discrimination_laws (Note the states with little warning triangles, indicating that the state has passed legislation that prevents cities or other municipalities from enacting their own non-discrimination rules.)
- akkartik 10y ago
  For others like me who were not aware of HB2: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/politics-government/article68401147.html http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/politics-government/ar...
- DHMO 10y ago
  HB2 is ridiculousness. Everyone I know that lives in NC is upset about it. The only bright side is that it hasn't been and can't be enforced. Many don't know that HB2 also originally included provisions that took rights away from workers to sue for discrimination. Months after, they took that part out, but left the rest of HB2 intact. They could have just killed it, but the legislature was just too fucking stupid. In 2010, NC got the first Republican majority in their state legislature since 1900. They created HB2 in response to something completely innocuous, went completely off the rails, and have been in no way actually representing NC's citizens. Despite the NC Republicans Gerrymandering several years ago, they should be soundly defeated in all elections in the near future. It just won't be soon enough.

smt88 10y ago

You shouldn't make blanket statements about entire states you don't live in. Cities are liberal in every state.

stonogo 10y ago
I've been called 'nigger' more often in brief visits to downtown Nashville or Birmingham than I ever have during years of living in rural California. If those cities are liberal I shudder to imagine rural TN or AL.
- smt88 10y ago
  And I've encountered more racism against me in Boston than any other US city. It's anecdotal to begin with, and it's not a reflection of all of Massachusetts or any other larger region. My point was just that the person who said to avoid the South due to proposed discriminatory laws was basing their judgment on something that doesn't reflect a particular city's tolerance or intolerance. There are intolerant people in the rural areas of every state, which is just a function of low levels of diversity and sometimes poor histories of education.
dragonwriter 10y ago
> Cities are liberal in every state. Cities are probably relatively liberal -- or at least, cosmopolitan -- in most parts of the country compared to non-urban areas nearby, but that doesn't mean that New York City, Atlanta, Kansas City (either of them), and San Francisco are all equally so. It doesn't even mean that cities in some regions aren't far more conservative and/or intolerant than non-urban areas in other regions.

merpnderp 10y ago

Oklahoma City has a very prominently placed trans officer. And hate crimes are harshly punished at the federal level. If it is dangerous for trans people outside of dark blue cities, the statistics aren't capturing it.

honkhonkpants 10y ago
They're not going to murder you, but in Oklahoma City a gay or trans person will be constantly told how people are going to pray for them. It's obnoxious.
- merpnderp 10y ago
  That sounds really oppressive. Perhaps instead of moving, just tell people no thanks, f off, or mind your own business. And who are these people constantly saying they'll pray for them? A trans person walks into a store and people just start annoying them?
  - madgar 10y ago
    > A trans person walks into a store and people just start annoying them? You have to pay for what you want at the store. That involves a person. That person then tells that they're praying for you to be someone you aren't and never will be. Do you somehow not encounter people in your everyday life?
  - justinlardinois 10y ago
    > just tell people no thanks, f off, or mind your own business. Sounds like a good way to escalate an already uncomfortable situation. It's damned if you do, damned if you don't.
    - merpnderp 10y ago
      I offered three entirely different options. "No thank you" to politely decline the offer. "F off" to show your extreme displeasure. And "mind your own business" for public shaming. Holy crap do people project much.

rayiner 10y ago

If I were gay or trans, I'd actually be more worried about Boston than Atlanta. Boston is pretty provincial. And there is a very large and public LGBT population in Atlanta.