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I doubt that this will ever work in countries other than China because women (and marriage) in other countries are mostly protected by law, while in china, wome

I doubt that this will ever work in countries other than China because women (and marriage) in other countries are mostly protected by law, while in china, women are not so well protected. Also, culturally speaking, a divorced woman is very hard to get marriage in China. While a divorced man is easy. In society, People think that "divorce" somehow depreciated the value of a woman, while "divorce" means nothing (sometimes positive thing) for a man. Also, after marriage, Chinese woman will not focus mostly on work or career promotion but rather on family, so in the long term, they are 1) financially attached to the husband 2) emotionally attached to the husband. This makes them want to "fix" the marriage rather than abandon it, even if the fix is superficial and (maybe) temporary. But as more and more young women (born after 80s and 90s) are married, this kind of issue may be mitigating. Because young women tend to be much well-educated and wealthy

ZLeviathan 10y ago
wow, as a Chinese myself, I agree on everything you said. Well put!
- ripitrust 10y ago
  Thanks
franciscop 10y ago
In Japan I would say it is similar, maybe not up to such extend but also in the same way
- ripitrust 10y ago
  Yeah I heard about that, it is sad that Japan women are suffering from this too.
branchless 10y ago
surely the one child policy will give women an upper hand in the coming 20 years? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_China#/media/File:China_Sex_By_Age_2010_census.png https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_China#/media/F...
- chongli 10y ago
  No, because even though there may be fewer young, attractive women due to the policy there are still hardly any wealthy, single men, comparatively speaking.
  - hnchinatime 10y ago
    Right, because every woman is entitled to a wealthy man?
    - chongli 10y ago
      No more than every man being entitled to a gorgeous woman. For most people, political correctness flies right out the window when it comes to sexual attraction and mate selection.
- Isofarro 10y ago
  All things being equal, yes women would have the upper hand. But cultural norms warp things a little more. The cultural tendency is for a man to marry down, and a women marry up in social level terms. Which means there's a layer of women near the top who can't find a husband. Particularly in professional careers. And the lowest social rung of men have no women to marry down. This asymmetry means there's a band of powerful and successful women who don't normally find husbands. They become China's "leftover women", who have basically given up on the idea of marriage beyond the age of 27. One recent solution here is these women look abroad for suitable husbands. Despite being negged annually, the social stigma of not marrying up takes many options away from women.
  - colmvp 10y ago
    I always find it strange how we make it seem like mate criteria is sacrosanct and beyond critique. I get that norms are strong. But in tech, we are constantly asked to question norms all the time and at times, deliberately counterbalance them. Surely we should also question social norms that inform our thinking in finding a mate? Especially if the person is having trouble finding someone suitable. If I were to say to you I had trouble finding a woman, I don't think people here would say, "hey you should look at dating someone overseas." I think people might suggest opening my scope to other ethnicities/body types/meeting opportunities.
maguowei 10y ago
I am a Chinese. as far as I know, even the relatively backward rural areas currently divorce has become more common. I d'not know what is progress?
HNerInChina 10y ago
>Also, after marriage, Chinese woman will not focus mostly on work or career promotion but rather on family, so in the long term, they are 1) financially attached to the husband 2) emotionally attached to the husband. This makes them want to "fix" the marriage rather than abandon it, even if the fix is superficial and (maybe) temporary. This was the reason for community property laws in the West. But now that women work outside the home and earn almost as much as men, community property has morphed into a divorce theft regime in which the wife can take 60% to 100% of everything the man holds dear including his children, his income, the house, and his retirement income and assets, all as (often lifetime) alimony and upwardly variable child support, all under the persistent threat of imprisonment even if he has done nothing to deserve such abuse. Please note that, in China, the national divorce rate is approximately 2% but in first-tier cities, where women have the highest earning potential, it's over 47%. If women in China file for divorce at similar rates as they have in the U.S. for over 100 years, they they will be filing 65% to 70% of divorces. Divorce is easy in China, for both women and men. The government policy is equality of the sexes--women hold up half the sky. And divorce rates are highest in cities where women have the greatest agency and highest economic independence. So, in China divorcees cannot seize their ex husband's premarital assets (govt policy) often leaving them destitute through no fault of theirs. In Anglo Saxon countries, millions fathers are not allowed to see let alone raise their children. Both are sad situations but which is worse? BTW, anyone contemplating marriage in America might want to watch the movie 'Divorce Corp' first.
- seanmcdirmid 10y ago
  The divorce rate in the USA is nowhere near that high. It peaked at around 60% in the 80s and has fallen to below 50% since then. There is a reason many woman want the apartment in their name as a co owner before they get married: otherwise they'll have no recourse on divorce. Even if they helped pay for it, they need their name there or they have no rights. This is how it is in China, relatively simple. As for parental rights, lots of moms never see their kids again as they go to live with the husband's family, same problems, different victims!
  - HNerInChina 10y ago

ZLeviathan 10y ago

wow, as a Chinese myself, I agree on everything you said. Well put!

ripitrust 10y ago
Thanks

franciscop 10y ago

In Japan I would say it is similar, maybe not up to such extend but also in the same way

ripitrust 10y ago
Yeah I heard about that, it is sad that Japan women are suffering from this too.

branchless 10y ago

surely the one child policy will give women an upper hand in the coming 20 years? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_China#/media/File:China_Sex_By_Age_2010_census.png https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_China#/media/F...

chongli 10y ago
No, because even though there may be fewer young, attractive women due to the policy there are still hardly any wealthy, single men, comparatively speaking.
- hnchinatime 10y ago
  Right, because every woman is entitled to a wealthy man?
  - chongli 10y ago
    No more than every man being entitled to a gorgeous woman. For most people, political correctness flies right out the window when it comes to sexual attraction and mate selection.
Isofarro 10y ago
All things being equal, yes women would have the upper hand. But cultural norms warp things a little more. The cultural tendency is for a man to marry down, and a women marry up in social level terms. Which means there's a layer of women near the top who can't find a husband. Particularly in professional careers. And the lowest social rung of men have no women to marry down. This asymmetry means there's a band of powerful and successful women who don't normally find husbands. They become China's "leftover women", who have basically given up on the idea of marriage beyond the age of 27. One recent solution here is these women look abroad for suitable husbands. Despite being negged annually, the social stigma of not marrying up takes many options away from women.
- colmvp 10y ago
  I always find it strange how we make it seem like mate criteria is sacrosanct and beyond critique. I get that norms are strong. But in tech, we are constantly asked to question norms all the time and at times, deliberately counterbalance them. Surely we should also question social norms that inform our thinking in finding a mate? Especially if the person is having trouble finding someone suitable. If I were to say to you I had trouble finding a woman, I don't think people here would say, "hey you should look at dating someone overseas." I think people might suggest opening my scope to other ethnicities/body types/meeting opportunities.

maguowei 10y ago

I am a Chinese. as far as I know, even the relatively backward rural areas currently divorce has become more common. I d'not know what is progress?

HNerInChina 10y ago

>Also, after marriage, Chinese woman will not focus mostly on work or career promotion but rather on family, so in the long term, they are 1) financially attached to the husband 2) emotionally attached to the husband. This makes them want to "fix" the marriage rather than abandon it, even if the fix is superficial and (maybe) temporary. This was the reason for community property laws in the West. But now that women work outside the home and earn almost as much as men, community property has morphed into a divorce theft regime in which the wife can take 60% to 100% of everything the man holds dear including his children, his income, the house, and his retirement income and assets, all as (often lifetime) alimony and upwardly variable child support, all under the persistent threat of imprisonment even if he has done nothing to deserve such abuse. Please note that, in China, the national divorce rate is approximately 2% but in first-tier cities, where women have the highest earning potential, it's over 47%. If women in China file for divorce at similar rates as they have in the U.S. for over 100 years, they they will be filing 65% to 70% of divorces. Divorce is easy in China, for both women and men. The government policy is equality of the sexes--women hold up half the sky. And divorce rates are highest in cities where women have the greatest agency and highest economic independence. So, in China divorcees cannot seize their ex husband's premarital assets (govt policy) often leaving them destitute through no fault of theirs. In Anglo Saxon countries, millions fathers are not allowed to see let alone raise their children. Both are sad situations but which is worse? BTW, anyone contemplating marriage in America might want to watch the movie 'Divorce Corp' first.

seanmcdirmid 10y ago
The divorce rate in the USA is nowhere near that high. It peaked at around 60% in the 80s and has fallen to below 50% since then. There is a reason many woman want the apartment in their name as a co owner before they get married: otherwise they'll have no recourse on divorce. Even if they helped pay for it, they need their name there or they have no rights. This is how it is in China, relatively simple. As for parental rights, lots of moms never see their kids again as they go to live with the husband's family, same problems, different victims!
- HNerInChina 10y ago