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The most important thing, in my opinion, is peaceful parenting. That is, no hitting and no shouting - teach your kids to reason, even if they're being unreasona
by mrmffh 10y ago
The most important thing, in my opinion, is peaceful parenting. That is, no hitting and no shouting - teach your kids to reason, even if they're being unreasonable.
- farnsworth 10y agoEasy to say...
- majurg 10y agoEasy to do, if you're rational that is
- ux-app 10y agoerr... I don't know about easy, I'd go with hard, but doable
- infinite8s 10y agoAnd have the privilege of not suffering from other life stresses...
- r0s 10y agoSuch as parenthood?
- infinite8s 10y agoNo, I meant stresses other than parenthood. When you have to work 2 jobs, have to decide whether to use your paycheck to pay overdue bills or buy groceries, and never get enough sleep, it's quite difficult to remain rational while your child is acting irrationally. The stresses of parenthood (never enough sleep, worrying if you are doing the right thing) just exacerbates those. After all, we aren't robots. Emotional state is a tough thing to override.
- amalcon 10y agoWhich you're not, seeing as how you're human and all. It's certainly possible, and very much worth doing, but I wouldn't call it easy.
- Sone7 10y agoSpoken like someone who hasn't been there. If you have been there, it's amazing you didn't learn not to speak like that - is English not your first language?
- ekianjo 10y agoWhen your kids destroy your sleep pattern and cry most of the time when they are awake during the day, good luck staying rational and yourself. Everyone has limits and kids are very good at finding them.
- wincy 10y agoKids don't destroy your sleep pattern unless you abuse them by going against millions of years of co-sleeping and throw them in a crib in a different room (doubling their risk of SIDS). In a year and a half we've had exactly one "troubled night" and that's because she had hand foot and mouth disease. Children cry because something is wrong. Sometimes that may be "I want to pull the cats tail but she's running away" but more often than not it's something that can be addressed by a parent. Love, attention, and affection has solved every bout of crying so far.
- ekianjo 10y agoAre you suggesting there's only a single pattern of kids and that all kids follow your experience? Because I can tell you, it's not the case.
- maxxxxx 10y agoI think you were lucky. My sister's kids were all different. One was extremely easy and the other one was very difficult the first few years. Same parents, same methods, different outcome. People are different,so are kids.
- maxxxxx 10y agoI would call it respectful parenting. My sister has raised great kids because she and her husband always treated the kids with respect. They talked about things and explained the reasons why they wanted something from the kids. Otherwise they would let the kids do their own thing. Whereas my and my sister's parents never explained anything. For example we had to be nice to adults and authority figures just because. If somebody had told me that it's in general good to be nice to other people because they will treat you nicely too I think my social development had been much better. I don't think I ever had a satisfying conversation with my dad.
- Jaruzel 10y agoI defy you to get through the difficult teenage years without resorting to shouting.
- tremon 10y agoMy mother managed that, with three teenagers, as a single mom. Maybe she was exceptionally good?