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The proximity of death turns many people philosophical. I like reading what people think when looking at life from that perspective. I also enjoyed reading an

by sdfin 10y ago

The proximity of death turns many people philosophical. I like reading what people think when looking at life from that perspective. I also enjoyed reading an article which was posted in HN some years ago, about the more common regrets of people on their deathbeds: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-fiv...

ekianjo 10y ago
Regrets on deathbeds are kind of a myth. Most people did actually make the conscious choices throughout their lives not to do the things they regret when things are over. So i would not give it too much credence unless their life is cut very short when they barely had a chance to do anything.
- fanzhang 10y ago
  I would also contend that for a large fraction of those people who have deathbed wishes, if a magic force suddenly granted that person 50 more years of healthy life, they'd go back to doing what they had "regretted". The guy who regrets working too hard at the end of life might be reflecting on some projects he put too much effort into, thinking he should have relaxed instead. Yet with 50 more years, he might get a jump on a dozen more projects, or reach for that next promotion.
- Trundle 10y ago
  I honestly don't see what you mean by myth. A choice being conscious doesn't mean it was optimal.
  - Swizec 10y ago
    You are exactly who you wanted to be. But sometimes that is not who you want to be. Or worse, who you hoped to be. Hindsight, thou art a heartless bitch. ;)
- greenshackle 10y ago
  I suspect when people are asked what they regret and they say, I wish I had spent more time with my family, what they really mean is, I wish I had more time to spend with my family. Humans are not actually very good at remembering their past selves. Memories are reconstructed on the fly, we 'remember' by projecting our present selves into past situations.
seletskiy 10y ago
Personally, that behaviour strikes me most. Why, only on the edge of dying, people suddenly becomes "philosophical" and aware of their life and surroundings? Yet, it's obvious for all of us, that everyone now living will be dead after several decades. And no one seems to be really caring. For whatever reason people express strong grief about dead or soon-to-be-dead in the manner, that they by themselves will never ever die, and it's so tragic and unexpected, that someone dies. I just don't get it, how it happens, that we have world based on the cult of death and yet just everyone living in the illusion, that their existence will never end?
- gph 10y ago
  I think at the end of life people reflect more on themselves and their own personal beliefs on how the world works. But when we are living in the thick of it we live much more within each other and the greater whole of society because we have to. That's how we survive. We give up some of our brainspace to ideas and systems that are built communally, both on a local/familial level and on an entire social level. In other words, we spend a lot of our time going with the flow and allowing our opinions to be shaped by those we trust or love. Or at least I think that's part of it. Edit: And in that sense we see individuals dying, but as we live we don't necessarily ponder ourselves dying as an individual because much of what we do and care about on a day to day basis will outlive us e.g. our families and ideals.
  - seletskiy 10y ago
    Living for greater whole of society yet not thinking about own mortality looks like moving in wrong direction for me. They are not contrary lifestyles. The only problem with highest priority we all having right now as a humanity is very short lifespan and mortality. I do not see much difference in dying in the next 12 month or next 40 years.
    - PieterH 10y ago
      As a parent who's been the primary caregiver for my young kids for years, it pains me to die when they aren't able to look after themselves yet. It is my one regret, really. So another 20 years would be cool from that perspective. There's also the difficulty in forming any real plans, which often take a few years, if you don't have some belief that you'll live to see them through. So telling ourselves "I'm going to live forever" (or at least 20 years more) is a basis for making long term plans like buying a house, having children, planting a garden...
bootload 10y ago
"The proximity of death turns many people philosophical." If philosophical means questioning things, yes. It also hints at being in the moment. Too often life is seen from auto-pilot. Death, being near it, seeing it, makes this change obvious. We'll all experience death in our on way. @PieterH does us all a favour here writing about this. Take a moment to reflect about this post and what it means to you. Thx @PieterH.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
clifanatic 10y ago
You should read some of the stuff Eric Meyer (the CSS guy) wrote about watching his daughter succumb to cancer: http://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/category/personal/rebecca/ http://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/category/personal/rebecca/ THAT will change the way you look at the world.

by sdfin 10y ago

ekianjo 10y ago

Regrets on deathbeds are kind of a myth. Most people did actually make the conscious choices throughout their lives not to do the things they regret when things are over. So i would not give it too much credence unless their life is cut very short when they barely had a chance to do anything.

fanzhang 10y ago
I would also contend that for a large fraction of those people who have deathbed wishes, if a magic force suddenly granted that person 50 more years of healthy life, they'd go back to doing what they had "regretted". The guy who regrets working too hard at the end of life might be reflecting on some projects he put too much effort into, thinking he should have relaxed instead. Yet with 50 more years, he might get a jump on a dozen more projects, or reach for that next promotion.
Trundle 10y ago
I honestly don't see what you mean by myth. A choice being conscious doesn't mean it was optimal.
- Swizec 10y ago
  You are exactly who you wanted to be. But sometimes that is not who you want to be. Or worse, who you hoped to be. Hindsight, thou art a heartless bitch. ;)
greenshackle 10y ago
I suspect when people are asked what they regret and they say, I wish I had spent more time with my family, what they really mean is, I wish I had more time to spend with my family. Humans are not actually very good at remembering their past selves. Memories are reconstructed on the fly, we 'remember' by projecting our present selves into past situations.

seletskiy 10y ago

Personally, that behaviour strikes me most. Why, only on the edge of dying, people suddenly becomes "philosophical" and aware of their life and surroundings? Yet, it's obvious for all of us, that everyone now living will be dead after several decades. And no one seems to be really caring. For whatever reason people express strong grief about dead or soon-to-be-dead in the manner, that they by themselves will never ever die, and it's so tragic and unexpected, that someone dies. I just don't get it, how it happens, that we have world based on the cult of death and yet just everyone living in the illusion, that their existence will never end?

gph 10y ago
I think at the end of life people reflect more on themselves and their own personal beliefs on how the world works. But when we are living in the thick of it we live much more within each other and the greater whole of society because we have to. That's how we survive. We give up some of our brainspace to ideas and systems that are built communally, both on a local/familial level and on an entire social level. In other words, we spend a lot of our time going with the flow and allowing our opinions to be shaped by those we trust or love. Or at least I think that's part of it. Edit: And in that sense we see individuals dying, but as we live we don't necessarily ponder ourselves dying as an individual because much of what we do and care about on a day to day basis will outlive us e.g. our families and ideals.
- seletskiy 10y ago
  Living for greater whole of society yet not thinking about own mortality looks like moving in wrong direction for me. They are not contrary lifestyles. The only problem with highest priority we all having right now as a humanity is very short lifespan and mortality. I do not see much difference in dying in the next 12 month or next 40 years.
  - PieterH 10y ago
    As a parent who's been the primary caregiver for my young kids for years, it pains me to die when they aren't able to look after themselves yet. It is my one regret, really. So another 20 years would be cool from that perspective. There's also the difficulty in forming any real plans, which often take a few years, if you don't have some belief that you'll live to see them through. So telling ourselves "I'm going to live forever" (or at least 20 years more) is a basis for making long term plans like buying a house, having children, planting a garden...

bootload 10y ago

"The proximity of death turns many people philosophical." If philosophical means questioning things, yes. It also hints at being in the moment. Too often life is seen from auto-pilot. Death, being near it, seeing it, makes this change obvious. We'll all experience death in our on way. @PieterH does us all a favour here writing about this. Take a moment to reflect about this post and what it means to you. Thx @PieterH.

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]

clifanatic 10y ago

You should read some of the stuff Eric Meyer (the CSS guy) wrote about watching his daughter succumb to cancer: http://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/category/personal/rebecca/ http://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/category/personal/rebecca/ THAT will change the way you look at the world.