4 ms·

Get To The Point First

41 points by jason_tko 17y ago

jason_tko 17y ago
My server died 5 minutes after submitting this. I migrated servers, everything should be fine now.
_mattb 17y ago
I've done this.. The article hints at it: you've got to process the vague question rapidly and, uh, with your mouth shut. Deliberately pausing and pondering helps.
michael_dorfman 17y ago
Of course, to get to the point first, you need to really understand what the person is asking. And this is the great art: to read between the lines, understand their concerns, and respond to the underlying context.
- yason 17y ago
  As getting to the point works both ways, it's also helpful to support other people in asking directly by not always willing to read between the lines. I wish people asked things directly more often. It leaves much less to be guessed. If you ask directly sometimes you get a no, sometimes you get a yes, and sometimes you save a shitload of time - for both persons - by directly asking what you want to ask.
- mikewest 17y ago
  Moreover, if you don't feel like you understand what the other person is asking, don't be afraid of asking a question in return. Ensure that you're clear on what's being asked of you before giving either a rambling answer that covers all the basis, or a focused response to a question that wasn't asked.
  - raganwald 17y ago
    That's the key, thanks. If you don't understand the original question well enough to give a succinct answer, ask clarifying questions until you can.
NIL8 17y ago
That's some good medicine. I need to be reminded of that everyday. I've had my share of embarrassing moments when my mouth provided a Wikipedia article when all I needed to say was yes or no.
csomar 17y ago
>> Client : “Will this USB drive be compatible with my 4 year old Dell computer?” I worked years ago, with a company providing IT services. I have learnt after months of dealing with the client, that "Yes" and "No" are the best answers. If the drive didn't work, you can simply justify it that something went missing on Windows, or the drive didn't install correctly. It's easy for the non-tech savvy users to understand "Yes", "No", "Windows badly installed", rather than to open long discussion where the client comes up to me with all his hardware and start asking if this work and this doesn't. Telling the client "It should" is not professional; tell them "Yes" and if it doesn't work and you fail to solve the problem, you can simply say that the operating system is badly installed (None can prove it's well installed). However, when you say "it should", the non-tech savvy client will become savvy and will try to use his 3 words knowledge to install the device and will give propositions, ideas... that are generally stupid and useless. This will make him feel that he's as tech-savvy as you.
- ehsanul 17y ago
  How about "Will the software you're writing be done within a month?" What's the right answer there, when you really don't know?
anatoly 17y ago
While you're harnessing the power of simple and direct communication, it'll help to not present your bad/good examples as fancily formatted "X" and "O", so as to hopelessly confuse your readers into trying to parse what seems to be an exchange between two fictitious persons named "X" and "O", yet makes no sense at all.
- jimbokun 17y ago
  This is a Japanese convention (O == correct, X == incorrect). The article is on a Japanese domain, so I assume the original intended audience was people at least somewhat familiar with Japanese culture.
  - anatoly 17y ago
    Yeah, I figured it out from context, but before I did, I was like O_x.
tfinniga 17y ago
This is great advice. One thing that I find that helps a lot is not to be afraid to have a bit of metaconversation. Things like "Are you asking because you're worried about X?", or after you've gotten to the point, asking "Do you want to know more detail?". They can take a lot of the guesswork out of communicating clearly, and don't have to be awkward.
jonas_b 17y ago
I was a volunteer last summer at place which arranged a number of festivals, and together with a professional sysadmin I helped maintain their booking system, internet cafe, random stuff etc. The atmosphere was pretty relaxed to start off with, but the sysadmin I worked with suggested that we would take it to the next level: Every morning we would walk around the office and give everyone sitting by a computer a five minute massage. During this time we bonded with them physically, asked them about their day and if there was anything we could help them with. The "results" were amazing. I have never become friends with so many people so quickly, and have never had customers so polite. Like the time when I accidentally erased all emails from the IMAP server, they just smiled and said: Don't worry, they'll just have to mail us again. I guess my point is that I agree with the OP, but if you have made a strong emotional connection, the words you chose are less important. They will love you anyway.
j_baker 17y ago
I think this is a truism. People want you to get to the point as soon as possible. The problem is in knowing what the point is. Some people just want the big picture. Others want all the minute details. I think a more common problem is that when I do get to the point, it's not the point the other person was looking for. So I instead end up with a "why don't you understand what I'm talking about?" feeling. Of course, nowadays, I'm smart enough to know that this usually goes both ways.
alecco 17y ago
That's why it's great to place an abstract on top. I've been doing that for every long email or blog post with great results. And link to sections of the body or external references, if need to.
lotharbot 17y ago
I used to worry that if I got to the point first, I wouldn't be able to give enough detail or nuance to do justice to the subject. I had it exactly backwards. By giving a quick, direct answer, I set myself up to follow it with the necessary detail and nuance and I set the other party up to want it. If I go into detail without giving the big-picture answer, I find the other person ignores the detail as they wait for the big-picture answer, but if I give the big-picture answer and immediately follow it up with detail, they very often become interested in how the detail affects the big picture. "Will this work?" "blah blah blah blah, so probably" is the wrong approach. "Will this work?" "yes. To do it, we may need to blah, blah, blah" is much more direct, and it gives the listener a reason to care about the details.
csytan 17y ago
A few weeks ago, I spoke with someone who contacted me through the co-founder wish list. He would have benefited greatly from this article. I spent over an hour listening to him over Skype, name dropping and extolling the technical virtues of his business. During the conversation, he left absolutely no pauses for me to speak. I ended up having to interrupt him mid-speech after realizing that he was not looking for a co-founder, but trying to sell his soon to be released platform to developers. Looking back, I realize that I was the same way a little over a year ago. It is easy to get caught up in the excitement of creating the next great thing. But care should be taken to ensure that conversations do not devolve into verbal masturbation over yet-another-victim.

41 points by jason_tko 17y ago

My server died 5 minutes after submitting this. I migrated servers, everything should be fine now.

I've done this.. The article hints at it: you've got to process the vague question rapidly and, uh, with your mouth shut. Deliberately pausing and pondering helps.

michael_dorfman 17y ago

Of course, to get to the point first, you need to really understand what the person is asking. And this is the great art: to read between the lines, understand their concerns, and respond to the underlying context.

yason 17y ago
As getting to the point works both ways, it's also helpful to support other people in asking directly by not always willing to read between the lines. I wish people asked things directly more often. It leaves much less to be guessed. If you ask directly sometimes you get a no, sometimes you get a yes, and sometimes you save a shitload of time - for both persons - by directly asking what you want to ask.
mikewest 17y ago
Moreover, if you don't feel like you understand what the other person is asking, don't be afraid of asking a question in return. Ensure that you're clear on what's being asked of you before giving either a rambling answer that covers all the basis, or a focused response to a question that wasn't asked.
- raganwald 17y ago
  That's the key, thanks. If you don't understand the original question well enough to give a succinct answer, ask clarifying questions until you can.

NIL8 17y ago

That's some good medicine. I need to be reminded of that everyday. I've had my share of embarrassing moments when my mouth provided a Wikipedia article when all I needed to say was yes or no.

csomar 17y ago

>> Client : “Will this USB drive be compatible with my 4 year old Dell computer?” I worked years ago, with a company providing IT services. I have learnt after months of dealing with the client, that "Yes" and "No" are the best answers. If the drive didn't work, you can simply justify it that something went missing on Windows, or the drive didn't install correctly. It's easy for the non-tech savvy users to understand "Yes", "No", "Windows badly installed", rather than to open long discussion where the client comes up to me with all his hardware and start asking if this work and this doesn't. Telling the client "It should" is not professional; tell them "Yes" and if it doesn't work and you fail to solve the problem, you can simply say that the operating system is badly installed (None can prove it's well installed). However, when you say "it should", the non-tech savvy client will become savvy and will try to use his 3 words knowledge to install the device and will give propositions, ideas... that are generally stupid and useless. This will make him feel that he's as tech-savvy as you.

ehsanul 17y ago
How about "Will the software you're writing be done within a month?" What's the right answer there, when you really don't know?

anatoly 17y ago

While you're harnessing the power of simple and direct communication, it'll help to not present your bad/good examples as fancily formatted "X" and "O", so as to hopelessly confuse your readers into trying to parse what seems to be an exchange between two fictitious persons named "X" and "O", yet makes no sense at all.

jimbokun 17y ago
This is a Japanese convention (O == correct, X == incorrect). The article is on a Japanese domain, so I assume the original intended audience was people at least somewhat familiar with Japanese culture.
- anatoly 17y ago
  Yeah, I figured it out from context, but before I did, I was like O_x.

tfinniga 17y ago

This is great advice. One thing that I find that helps a lot is not to be afraid to have a bit of metaconversation. Things like "Are you asking because you're worried about X?", or after you've gotten to the point, asking "Do you want to know more detail?". They can take a lot of the guesswork out of communicating clearly, and don't have to be awkward.

jonas_b 17y ago

I was a volunteer last summer at place which arranged a number of festivals, and together with a professional sysadmin I helped maintain their booking system, internet cafe, random stuff etc. The atmosphere was pretty relaxed to start off with, but the sysadmin I worked with suggested that we would take it to the next level: Every morning we would walk around the office and give everyone sitting by a computer a five minute massage. During this time we bonded with them physically, asked them about their day and if there was anything we could help them with. The "results" were amazing. I have never become friends with so many people so quickly, and have never had customers so polite. Like the time when I accidentally erased all emails from the IMAP server, they just smiled and said: Don't worry, they'll just have to mail us again. I guess my point is that I agree with the OP, but if you have made a strong emotional connection, the words you chose are less important. They will love you anyway.

j_baker 17y ago

I think this is a truism. People want you to get to the point as soon as possible. The problem is in knowing what the point is. Some people just want the big picture. Others want all the minute details. I think a more common problem is that when I do get to the point, it's not the point the other person was looking for. So I instead end up with a "why don't you understand what I'm talking about?" feeling. Of course, nowadays, I'm smart enough to know that this usually goes both ways.

alecco 17y ago

That's why it's great to place an abstract on top. I've been doing that for every long email or blog post with great results. And link to sections of the body or external references, if need to.

lotharbot 17y ago

I used to worry that if I got to the point first, I wouldn't be able to give enough detail or nuance to do justice to the subject. I had it exactly backwards. By giving a quick, direct answer, I set myself up to follow it with the necessary detail and nuance and I set the other party up to want it. If I go into detail without giving the big-picture answer, I find the other person ignores the detail as they wait for the big-picture answer, but if I give the big-picture answer and immediately follow it up with detail, they very often become interested in how the detail affects the big picture. "Will this work?" "blah blah blah blah, so probably" is the wrong approach. "Will this work?" "yes. To do it, we may need to blah, blah, blah" is much more direct, and it gives the listener a reason to care about the details.

csytan 17y ago

A few weeks ago, I spoke with someone who contacted me through the co-founder wish list. He would have benefited greatly from this article. I spent over an hour listening to him over Skype, name dropping and extolling the technical virtues of his business. During the conversation, he left absolutely no pauses for me to speak. I ended up having to interrupt him mid-speech after realizing that he was not looking for a co-founder, but trying to sell his soon to be released platform to developers. Looking back, I realize that I was the same way a little over a year ago. It is easy to get caught up in the excitement of creating the next great thing. But care should be taken to ensure that conversations do not devolve into verbal masturbation over yet-another-victim.