5 ms·

It's not a mistake. He didn't leave the server room door open. He called her a MILF.... TO HER FACE. He's not 12 (I assume). If he hasn't learned to be resp

by NateDad 10y ago

It's not a mistake. He didn't leave the server room door open. He called her a MILF.... TO HER FACE. He's not 12 (I assume). If he hasn't learned to be respectful to women before now, it's not this guy's job to teach him.

falcolas 10y ago
Per the side of the story we know. Do you know something not present in this narrative? The use of 'milf', whether it's derogatory or a compliment, will depend entirely on the context of the larger conversation. Something we don't have. Something which apparently the OP didn't have either.
- icebraining 10y ago
  And she felt so flattered that she went to her boss to show him the texts?
  - kstrauser 10y ago
    That's the clincher for me. If she'd enjoyed that - and it's at least conceivable that someone would take it as a compliment - then the boss wouldn't know and no harm would be done. Remember, it's perfectly legal to date your coworkers. You can ask them out and everything! But the moment they move to stop your advances, you must cease immediately. It sounds like she was at least initially open to out-of-work conversation (as evidenced by her agreeing to switch to WhatsApp), but once she become uncomfortable it should have ended. Acceptable: You: We should go out sometime. I've never asked before, but would you be interested? Your colleague (NOT subordinate): No. You: OK, back to business. Hey, what time did they move our meeting to? Not acceptable: You: I know I ask you this daily, but... You: I'm not really supposed to date people who report to me, but... You: We went out one time and you broke it off, but... You: This was OK last week before you asked me to stop, but...
- NateDad 10y ago
  No one makes up stories like this. They're ALWAYS TRUE. Plus, she probably can show him history on whatsapp (if it supports that, I don't know). MILF is NEVER a compliment to a stranger. It's NEVER a compliment to a friend you just met. It's probably a bad idea even if you're in her bedroom and both stripping down about to have sex. The only time it's sorta safe to call someone a milf is if you were the one who made her a Mom, and even then, it's VERY situational. Basically, just don't.
  - sathackr 10y ago
    Wait, so if I go to your boss and tell him you called me a MILF, it's true? It's not completely implausible there is an ulterior motive. And she is well protected if there is. He, on the other hand is not. None of us know enough about the situation to make a determination in either direction.
    - NateDad 10y ago
      If you're a woman, yes, it's probably true. Like 10,000,000:1 chance. If the boss has known me for a long time and it seems completely out of character for me (which it would be), then maybe he talks to me about it to see WTF is up. But some dude who just got hired? Assuming there's no record and no witnesses? You have to go with the vastly more likely case that he did it. If that gets 1 in 10,000,000 guys unfairly fired, but gets 9,999,999 guys justly fired, that's a pretty good outcome in my book.
      - datalist 10y ago
        As if "positive" discrimation was ever useful or not just another form of discrimiation.
      - gambiting 10y ago
        Jesus, your comment is absolutely terrifying to read. Come down from the high castle you put yourself in.
      - hospes 10y ago
- kohanz 10y ago
  Please provide one example of using the term "MILF" in a professionally appropriate way.
  - walrus01 10y ago
    When you work for an intelligence agency, federal law enforcement, customs/immigration or something like that (or a private sector contractor for them), and the topic of discussion is the MILF? the MILF is a violent organization that has been known to cut off peoples' heads... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moro_Islamic_Liberation_Front https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moro_Islamic_Liberation_Front
  - oldmanjay 10y ago
    As the director of an "American Pie" franchise entry.
    - nickpsecurity 10y ago
      That was too great given the asker probably thought a correct answer was impossible. Lmao.
  - sheepleherd 10y ago
    please have the parser accept the following ASCII formatted unix stream: FirstName LF MI LF LastName LF except don't allow trailing whitespaces at the ends of lines so more like FirstNameLF MILF LastNameLF *if she's a MILF, definitely get her first and last name... did I just ruin it?
- nkrisc 10y ago
  The context is irrelevant. Whether or not it was intended as a compliment, or even received as a compliment does not matter. It was inappropriate for the workplace.
  - wernercd 10y ago
    If this was "after hours" between two adults? Was it a couple comments, that got rebuffed (You think I'm cute? Thank you, but I'm not interested) and was then dropped? Was it repeated comments that continued after "she" said no? I wouldn't use those terms with someone at work, during working hours... I wouldn't think it's earth ending to compliment someone after hours, outside of the work place (The terminology is a bit strong for my tastes, but assuming it is intended to be "complementary"... depending on how "comfortable" I was with someone, I might use similar terms if I "read the situation" as "she might be interested") I'm all for "fire for harassment"... but is this really harassment (continued after refusal)? Or is this a one time thing that happened when hanging out after hours that ended upon request? "Context is irrelevant" is a bit short sighted, because context - and responses of all involved - is completely relevant..
    - nerd-fight 10y ago
      Hitting on a fellow employee after work hours with a tinder-esque technique is grounds for termination. The female employee has little recourse to stop the advance, and has not approved it. Workplace courtship protocol requires slow, deliberate advancement with explicit ACKs from the receiver.
      - UK-Al05 10y ago
        You have no absolutely idea, who started the tinder-esque technique. For all you know, she could have been calling him a dirty stud, a day earlier. If this true? Would you then fire her? This is why, you need both sides of the story before you can do a "with cause" firing.
        nerd-fight 10y ago
- maxcan 10y ago
  It's almost certainly inappropriate. That doesn't, however, mean he needs to be fired on the spot.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
nickpsecurity 10y ago
" He called her a MILF.... TO HER FACE. He's not 12 (I assume)" Good point. This kind of person will probably need more self-improvement lessons than most companies can justify investing in him. Plus likely cause other headaches. Best to get rid of him if claims are true.

by NateDad 10y ago

falcolas 10y ago

Per the side of the story we know. Do you know something not present in this narrative? The use of 'milf', whether it's derogatory or a compliment, will depend entirely on the context of the larger conversation. Something we don't have. Something which apparently the OP didn't have either.

icebraining 10y ago
And she felt so flattered that she went to her boss to show him the texts?
- kstrauser 10y ago
  That's the clincher for me. If she'd enjoyed that - and it's at least conceivable that someone would take it as a compliment - then the boss wouldn't know and no harm would be done. Remember, it's perfectly legal to date your coworkers. You can ask them out and everything! But the moment they move to stop your advances, you must cease immediately. It sounds like she was at least initially open to out-of-work conversation (as evidenced by her agreeing to switch to WhatsApp), but once she become uncomfortable it should have ended. Acceptable: You: We should go out sometime. I've never asked before, but would you be interested? Your colleague (NOT subordinate): No. You: OK, back to business. Hey, what time did they move our meeting to? Not acceptable: You: I know I ask you this daily, but... You: I'm not really supposed to date people who report to me, but... You: We went out one time and you broke it off, but... You: This was OK last week before you asked me to stop, but...
NateDad 10y ago
No one makes up stories like this. They're ALWAYS TRUE. Plus, she probably can show him history on whatsapp (if it supports that, I don't know). MILF is NEVER a compliment to a stranger. It's NEVER a compliment to a friend you just met. It's probably a bad idea even if you're in her bedroom and both stripping down about to have sex. The only time it's sorta safe to call someone a milf is if you were the one who made her a Mom, and even then, it's VERY situational. Basically, just don't.
- sathackr 10y ago
  Wait, so if I go to your boss and tell him you called me a MILF, it's true? It's not completely implausible there is an ulterior motive. And she is well protected if there is. He, on the other hand is not. None of us know enough about the situation to make a determination in either direction.
  - NateDad 10y ago
    If you're a woman, yes, it's probably true. Like 10,000,000:1 chance. If the boss has known me for a long time and it seems completely out of character for me (which it would be), then maybe he talks to me about it to see WTF is up. But some dude who just got hired? Assuming there's no record and no witnesses? You have to go with the vastly more likely case that he did it. If that gets 1 in 10,000,000 guys unfairly fired, but gets 9,999,999 guys justly fired, that's a pretty good outcome in my book.
    - datalist 10y ago
      As if "positive" discrimation was ever useful or not just another form of discrimiation.
    - gambiting 10y ago
      Jesus, your comment is absolutely terrifying to read. Come down from the high castle you put yourself in.
    - hospes 10y ago
kohanz 10y ago
Please provide one example of using the term "MILF" in a professionally appropriate way.
- walrus01 10y ago
  When you work for an intelligence agency, federal law enforcement, customs/immigration or something like that (or a private sector contractor for them), and the topic of discussion is the MILF? the MILF is a violent organization that has been known to cut off peoples' heads... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moro_Islamic_Liberation_Front https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moro_Islamic_Liberation_Front
- oldmanjay 10y ago
  As the director of an "American Pie" franchise entry.
  - nickpsecurity 10y ago
    That was too great given the asker probably thought a correct answer was impossible. Lmao.
- sheepleherd 10y ago
  please have the parser accept the following ASCII formatted unix stream: FirstName LF MI LF LastName LF except don't allow trailing whitespaces at the ends of lines so more like FirstNameLF MILF LastNameLF *if she's a MILF, definitely get her first and last name... did I just ruin it?
nkrisc 10y ago
The context is irrelevant. Whether or not it was intended as a compliment, or even received as a compliment does not matter. It was inappropriate for the workplace.
- wernercd 10y ago
  If this was "after hours" between two adults? Was it a couple comments, that got rebuffed (You think I'm cute? Thank you, but I'm not interested) and was then dropped? Was it repeated comments that continued after "she" said no? I wouldn't use those terms with someone at work, during working hours... I wouldn't think it's earth ending to compliment someone after hours, outside of the work place (The terminology is a bit strong for my tastes, but assuming it is intended to be "complementary"... depending on how "comfortable" I was with someone, I might use similar terms if I "read the situation" as "she might be interested") I'm all for "fire for harassment"... but is this really harassment (continued after refusal)? Or is this a one time thing that happened when hanging out after hours that ended upon request? "Context is irrelevant" is a bit short sighted, because context - and responses of all involved - is completely relevant..
  - nerd-fight 10y ago
    Hitting on a fellow employee after work hours with a tinder-esque technique is grounds for termination. The female employee has little recourse to stop the advance, and has not approved it. Workplace courtship protocol requires slow, deliberate advancement with explicit ACKs from the receiver.
    - UK-Al05 10y ago
      You have no absolutely idea, who started the tinder-esque technique. For all you know, she could have been calling him a dirty stud, a day earlier. If this true? Would you then fire her? This is why, you need both sides of the story before you can do a "with cause" firing.
      - nerd-fight 10y ago
maxcan 10y ago
It's almost certainly inappropriate. That doesn't, however, mean he needs to be fired on the spot.
deleted 10y ago
[deleted]

nickpsecurity 10y ago

" He called her a MILF.... TO HER FACE. He's not 12 (I assume)" Good point. This kind of person will probably need more self-improvement lessons than most companies can justify investing in him. Plus likely cause other headaches. Best to get rid of him if claims are true.