5 ms·

Is it a common thing to realise you are burnouted in front of the kitchen closet? It was the same for me, stuck in front of food and didn't even know why I ope

by smonff 11y ago

Is it a common thing to realise you are burnouted in front of the kitchen closet? It was the same for me, stuck in front of food and didn't even know why I opened the door. Then I get scared.

madaxe_again 11y ago
Food selection is a weird one - it shouldn't take much cognitive overhead, but the more stressed and tired I am, the more likely I am to just not bother eating, rather than take the energy to decide what to eat. For instance, it's now Wednesday, I haven't got around to putting food in myself since Sunday. I've managed a few hundred cups of coffee though. Kept going into the kitchen last night, and rather than eating kept finding myself chores to do until I gave up and went to bed - which is the place you lie until you hear the birds start to sing, then you close your eyes for what feels like five minutes, your alarm goes off, and you start all over again. Life is hell, but that's OK. I've made peace with being permanently anxious, stressed, and tired. Sure, it's cost me all of my friends, relationships, etc., but that's OK, they're only things, and nothing really matters anyway - everybody ends up dead eventually.
- chris_wot 11y ago
  As a number of other people have commented, it sounds like you are in a very bad place right now. I'm actually very concerned. Please, please talk to someone about how you are feeling! I fear you are at crisis point and don't realise it :-(
- marcosdumay 11y ago
  If that is current, go look for help. Really.
- andythomas 11y ago
  You're in a bad place my friend. Go eat something, right now. If you don't have the mental energy to decide, here's a default - get a hamburger and some fries.
  - logfromblammo 11y ago
    Or hard-boil some eggs in the coffee pot. That has to be about the simplest meal that exists.
    - kaybe 11y ago
      A small cup of rolled oats and milk or water. Doesn't taste like much (this is a feature here), doesn't induce sickness easily, takes no time to prepare, is very mobile (can be carried around while getting dressed), gives sufficient energy and is easy to eat without appetite. My go-to solution when I need to have food but really don't want to. Plus it stores really well if you use water, so no need to get fresh ingredients.
- d0m 11y ago
  Hey feel free to ping me (phzbox@gmail.com) if you want to talk. My wife is a family doctor and we talk a lot about that stuff. I'm pretty sure I can help you.
- zemvpferreira 11y ago
  Life shouldn't be hell and that's not ok. You deserve better. If you want help (and if there's a chance I can help), email me at ze@cookmellow.com
- NobleLie 11y ago
  Perhaps your body is telling you that the foods you previously decided to eat aren't working. Dont listen to the sibling poster to eat a burger and fries, thats non-sense (at least by my standards) Us Americans (or if you arent American, the same applies to other first world countries) eat too much and they freak out when they hear someone else fasting. Now, your apparent depression does sound worrying to me, but you should be free to fast for a few days without the judgment of others. But on actually eating something: Are you a fruit person? Try buying a container of raspberries, blueberries or strawberries (or whatever fruit you like) Ideally, also pick up something green (I like steamed broccoli sprinkled with garlic powder) Or have some oatmeal and throw any of those berries and a banana in (perhaps with some seeds/nuts - I quite enjoy hemp seeds in my oatmeal lately) These foods are delicious to me and provide actual nutrition. Sometimes I fast for an extended period of time (skip a few meals to a couple of days,) but if these foods are lying around I tend to enjoy them greatly. Also try peaking at the sun during sunrise. Great way to start the day in my anecdotal opinion. (And there is a lot of scientific evidence that sun helps with "blue" moods)
  - pgeorgi 11y ago
    When not having eaten anything due to stress since sunday when it's wednesday, "burgers and fries" seems to be better advice than a flow chart starting with an ambiguous question like "are you a fruit person? then ..., otherwise ..." because the former is trivially actionable (at least in the US): step out of the door, drive to the next burger place, eat. "trivially actionable" is worth a lot when stress is crushing you. There's also a difference between a conscious decision to fast for a few days and just not managing to eat for days at a time. Your advice is great (although I'm personally not so fond of "your body is telling you" interpretations) when basic needs are met and there's room for a bit of cognitive effort.
    - chris_wot 11y ago
      I have to agree. This guy isn't fasting, he seems to be experiencing a life crisis and hasn't been eating because of it. At this point eating something, even as unhealthy as a burger and fries, is preferable to eating nothing. Nobody is suggesting this be part of a normal diet, but with what appears to be done pretty dark thoughts and not having eaten for several days it's probably more important that he eats something ASAP.
- brador 11y ago
  You're deep in a habitual cycle of dependency. It's not a good place but you can get out. Cut the coffee immediately, throw it out if you need to. Your hunger should return in a few hours. Take a shower, wear clean clothes, prepare a nice filling fatty meal, pizza is a good option. Has to be a high fat meal to make food appealing again. After this you're gonna crash hard as your mind and body recovers. Go to bed.
  - madaxe_again 11y ago
    Oh, I'm immaculately dressed - gotta look good for the clients. The coffee is effect, not cause - although I am fully aware I've a raging caffeine addiction. No chance to go to bed, I have conference calls, staff disciplinary meetings, budgets, strategy sessions, and contracts to sort out. As I said, it's OK. I've made my peace with gnawing anxiety, stress and suicidal depression as normal facts of life. It's like being bedfellows with a axe murderer - just fine, so long as you never relax and let your guard down. Sure I'm neurotic, but who isn't?
    - chris_wot 11y ago
      Gnawing anxiety, stress and suicidal depression are not normal. I've been where you are, and I'm really, really concerned. I'm not saying give up work or anything like that, but I'd really urge you to seek out a medical professional if you haven't already. There's a tipping point where things get so bad you won't be able to function, and believe me it's far, far better to get in front of it than to need to get help after that tipping point. Sorry if I sound preachy, I say this out of genuine concern for your well being :-)
      - madaxe_again 11y ago
        Ah, but they are - at any rate, they are to me. I'm torn on seeking professional help, as while a therapist I saw last year practically begged me to see a psychoanalyst, I demurred, as I know that in the eyes of a practitioner I'd fall into the "risk of harm to self" category (except I don't self harm - apart from my sustained "lifestyle" choices), and being sectioned and chucked in a facility would be a fate worse than death. A good friend went to the NHS regarding depression about 15 years ago, aged 17. They put her in a facility for 18 months, and gave her a hysterectomy. No way am I going anywhere near that particular hell.
- burnedoutbright 11y ago
  A really good trick for the food part my partner taught me: in the evening, don't ask "what am I going to have for dinner?" -- that's just too difficult when you're tired and stressed and nothing is appealing. Instead, ask "what am I going to have for lunch tomorrow?" Having a packed lunch is awesome: it's effortlessly right there when you need it and will make you happier throughout the afternoon. Tomorrow-you will be incredibly grateful to tonight-you. And tonight-you, being the productive chore-monkey, is probably quite happy to make a meal someone else. In the process, if you eat some "leftovers", that's a bonus :-).
- mod 11y ago
  You could establish something that is very easy to prepare or order and make it your default meal. Domino's pizza can save your order. You can eat cold pizza. Microwave food, little debbie snack cakes, something. Have something, one thing, available, and then you've taken the choice out of the equation. Then you just get something, possibly heat it up, and eat it. Presumably the microwave wouldn't be an overwhelming task since the coffee maker isn't.
dspillett 11y ago
Not specifically that, but when you realise you are failing at something that should be a practically automatic, natural, easy operation - one example of which is choosing/preparing food - because of the stress. It is similar to when people suffering from it first notice the onset of dementia: they notice themselves forget things that should be automatic, how to operate a can opener, the name of someone close, and so on. In both cases there is the scared reaction. Of course sometimes it is an overreaction (you are just being a little forgetful, everyone has that from time to time especially when tired) and you almost instantly pull yourself together. It will have probably happened to you many times before you had the true scared reaction that lasted long enough to make you notice the seriousness of the problem.

by smonff 11y ago

Is it a common thing to realise you are burnouted in front of the kitchen closet? It was the same for me, stuck in front of food and didn't even know why I opened the door. Then I get scared.

madaxe_again 11y ago

Food selection is a weird one - it shouldn't take much cognitive overhead, but the more stressed and tired I am, the more likely I am to just not bother eating, rather than take the energy to decide what to eat. For instance, it's now Wednesday, I haven't got around to putting food in myself since Sunday. I've managed a few hundred cups of coffee though. Kept going into the kitchen last night, and rather than eating kept finding myself chores to do until I gave up and went to bed - which is the place you lie until you hear the birds start to sing, then you close your eyes for what feels like five minutes, your alarm goes off, and you start all over again. Life is hell, but that's OK. I've made peace with being permanently anxious, stressed, and tired. Sure, it's cost me all of my friends, relationships, etc., but that's OK, they're only things, and nothing really matters anyway - everybody ends up dead eventually.

chris_wot 11y ago
As a number of other people have commented, it sounds like you are in a very bad place right now. I'm actually very concerned. Please, please talk to someone about how you are feeling! I fear you are at crisis point and don't realise it :-(
marcosdumay 11y ago
If that is current, go look for help. Really.
andythomas 11y ago
You're in a bad place my friend. Go eat something, right now. If you don't have the mental energy to decide, here's a default - get a hamburger and some fries.
- logfromblammo 11y ago
  Or hard-boil some eggs in the coffee pot. That has to be about the simplest meal that exists.
  - kaybe 11y ago
    A small cup of rolled oats and milk or water. Doesn't taste like much (this is a feature here), doesn't induce sickness easily, takes no time to prepare, is very mobile (can be carried around while getting dressed), gives sufficient energy and is easy to eat without appetite. My go-to solution when I need to have food but really don't want to. Plus it stores really well if you use water, so no need to get fresh ingredients.
d0m 11y ago
Hey feel free to ping me (phzbox@gmail.com) if you want to talk. My wife is a family doctor and we talk a lot about that stuff. I'm pretty sure I can help you.
zemvpferreira 11y ago
Life shouldn't be hell and that's not ok. You deserve better. If you want help (and if there's a chance I can help), email me at ze@cookmellow.com
NobleLie 11y ago
Perhaps your body is telling you that the foods you previously decided to eat aren't working. Dont listen to the sibling poster to eat a burger and fries, thats non-sense (at least by my standards) Us Americans (or if you arent American, the same applies to other first world countries) eat too much and they freak out when they hear someone else fasting. Now, your apparent depression does sound worrying to me, but you should be free to fast for a few days without the judgment of others. But on actually eating something: Are you a fruit person? Try buying a container of raspberries, blueberries or strawberries (or whatever fruit you like) Ideally, also pick up something green (I like steamed broccoli sprinkled with garlic powder) Or have some oatmeal and throw any of those berries and a banana in (perhaps with some seeds/nuts - I quite enjoy hemp seeds in my oatmeal lately) These foods are delicious to me and provide actual nutrition. Sometimes I fast for an extended period of time (skip a few meals to a couple of days,) but if these foods are lying around I tend to enjoy them greatly. Also try peaking at the sun during sunrise. Great way to start the day in my anecdotal opinion. (And there is a lot of scientific evidence that sun helps with "blue" moods)
- pgeorgi 11y ago
  When not having eaten anything due to stress since sunday when it's wednesday, "burgers and fries" seems to be better advice than a flow chart starting with an ambiguous question like "are you a fruit person? then ..., otherwise ..." because the former is trivially actionable (at least in the US): step out of the door, drive to the next burger place, eat. "trivially actionable" is worth a lot when stress is crushing you. There's also a difference between a conscious decision to fast for a few days and just not managing to eat for days at a time. Your advice is great (although I'm personally not so fond of "your body is telling you" interpretations) when basic needs are met and there's room for a bit of cognitive effort.
  - chris_wot 11y ago
    I have to agree. This guy isn't fasting, he seems to be experiencing a life crisis and hasn't been eating because of it. At this point eating something, even as unhealthy as a burger and fries, is preferable to eating nothing. Nobody is suggesting this be part of a normal diet, but with what appears to be done pretty dark thoughts and not having eaten for several days it's probably more important that he eats something ASAP.
brador 11y ago
You're deep in a habitual cycle of dependency. It's not a good place but you can get out. Cut the coffee immediately, throw it out if you need to. Your hunger should return in a few hours. Take a shower, wear clean clothes, prepare a nice filling fatty meal, pizza is a good option. Has to be a high fat meal to make food appealing again. After this you're gonna crash hard as your mind and body recovers. Go to bed.
- madaxe_again 11y ago
  Oh, I'm immaculately dressed - gotta look good for the clients. The coffee is effect, not cause - although I am fully aware I've a raging caffeine addiction. No chance to go to bed, I have conference calls, staff disciplinary meetings, budgets, strategy sessions, and contracts to sort out. As I said, it's OK. I've made my peace with gnawing anxiety, stress and suicidal depression as normal facts of life. It's like being bedfellows with a axe murderer - just fine, so long as you never relax and let your guard down. Sure I'm neurotic, but who isn't?
  - chris_wot 11y ago
    Gnawing anxiety, stress and suicidal depression are not normal. I've been where you are, and I'm really, really concerned. I'm not saying give up work or anything like that, but I'd really urge you to seek out a medical professional if you haven't already. There's a tipping point where things get so bad you won't be able to function, and believe me it's far, far better to get in front of it than to need to get help after that tipping point. Sorry if I sound preachy, I say this out of genuine concern for your well being :-)
    - madaxe_again 11y ago
      Ah, but they are - at any rate, they are to me. I'm torn on seeking professional help, as while a therapist I saw last year practically begged me to see a psychoanalyst, I demurred, as I know that in the eyes of a practitioner I'd fall into the "risk of harm to self" category (except I don't self harm - apart from my sustained "lifestyle" choices), and being sectioned and chucked in a facility would be a fate worse than death. A good friend went to the NHS regarding depression about 15 years ago, aged 17. They put her in a facility for 18 months, and gave her a hysterectomy. No way am I going anywhere near that particular hell.
burnedoutbright 11y ago
A really good trick for the food part my partner taught me: in the evening, don't ask "what am I going to have for dinner?" -- that's just too difficult when you're tired and stressed and nothing is appealing. Instead, ask "what am I going to have for lunch tomorrow?" Having a packed lunch is awesome: it's effortlessly right there when you need it and will make you happier throughout the afternoon. Tomorrow-you will be incredibly grateful to tonight-you. And tonight-you, being the productive chore-monkey, is probably quite happy to make a meal someone else. In the process, if you eat some "leftovers", that's a bonus :-).
mod 11y ago
You could establish something that is very easy to prepare or order and make it your default meal. Domino's pizza can save your order. You can eat cold pizza. Microwave food, little debbie snack cakes, something. Have something, one thing, available, and then you've taken the choice out of the equation. Then you just get something, possibly heat it up, and eat it. Presumably the microwave wouldn't be an overwhelming task since the coffee maker isn't.

dspillett 11y ago

Not specifically that, but when you realise you are failing at something that should be a practically automatic, natural, easy operation - one example of which is choosing/preparing food - because of the stress. It is similar to when people suffering from it first notice the onset of dementia: they notice themselves forget things that should be automatic, how to operate a can opener, the name of someone close, and so on. In both cases there is the scared reaction. Of course sometimes it is an overreaction (you are just being a little forgetful, everyone has that from time to time especially when tired) and you almost instantly pull yourself together. It will have probably happened to you many times before you had the true scared reaction that lasted long enough to make you notice the seriousness of the problem.