7 ms·

"Livingston disclosed that she hadn’t spent any real time away from her work, including after her children were born — she placed the blame on herself for that.

by calcsam 11y ago

"Livingston disclosed that she hadn’t spent any real time away from her work, including after her children were born — she placed the blame on herself for that." This always seems to be framed as a women's obligation. The children have two parents.

rckclmbr 11y ago
So only one parent should spend time with children? As a father, I'd give anything to take a year sabbatical to spend more time with my kids.
- dominotw 11y ago
  > I'd give anything to take a year sabbatical to spend more time with my kids. My family had lots of nannies by profession. Most of them worked for rich people who had all the time to spend with their kids but they choose not to. Most of them would spend about a hour or two per day with their kids total. And these people are not exceptions by any means from what I've seen. I always found this fascinating and contrary to what everyone say they want, rich people are fascinating.
1123581321 11y ago
Hasn't Paul already stepped back from day-to-day management so presumably spends more time with their children? Also, if she blames herself, doesn't that mean she sees herself as having agency to either work or not work, which means that she isn't obliged to do either?
product50 11y ago
It is not. It depends on how you want to read it. I can imagine this coming from a man and still make complete sense.
graeme 11y ago
If you read paulg's twitter feed, it sounds like he has been spending a lot of time with children since retiring from YC. There's no need to twist words – I'd interpret Jessica's words as expressing a normal, human, desire to spend time with and get to know her children. She's been working at a very high level, and likely has seen much less of her children than someone working a regular 9-5 would.
Mz 11y ago
I really wish that we would not conflate a woman's stated desire to spend time with her offspring with general societal criticism. If she wishes to spend time with them and can arrange to do so, good on her. Criticizing mothers for not spending enough time with the kids while not criticizing fathers is certainly sexist and problematic. But real parental involvement is generally understood to be good for the kids. So, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater here.
jl 11y ago
Actually, I "blamed" myself for that because I never set up any formal parental leave program at YC back in 2009, which I would have been responsible for doing.
wglb 11y ago
I started my consulting business at the same time my kids were born. Fortunately, most of the work was done in my home office, and so I was with them as much as their mother during their first two years. The world is a bit stacked against those who aren't at home for their kids childhood. For example, in the first year, a kid will grow a tiny bit during each nap that they take. If you are at home, you get to see this. If you are at work away from home, you miss two or three tiny growth increments each day. So it is both parent's obligation, but can be difficult to carry off if one works away from home.
funkyy 11y ago
I usually expect HN to be of much higher standards than this...
prawn 11y ago
In that case, it looks like it was framed as her personal interest rather than female-specific and an obligation. If it's her personal interest, why judge it?

by calcsam 11y ago

rckclmbr 11y ago

So only one parent should spend time with children? As a father, I'd give anything to take a year sabbatical to spend more time with my kids.

dominotw 11y ago
> I'd give anything to take a year sabbatical to spend more time with my kids. My family had lots of nannies by profession. Most of them worked for rich people who had all the time to spend with their kids but they choose not to. Most of them would spend about a hour or two per day with their kids total. And these people are not exceptions by any means from what I've seen. I always found this fascinating and contrary to what everyone say they want, rich people are fascinating.

1123581321 11y ago

Hasn't Paul already stepped back from day-to-day management so presumably spends more time with their children? Also, if she blames herself, doesn't that mean she sees herself as having agency to either work or not work, which means that she isn't obliged to do either?

product50 11y ago

It is not. It depends on how you want to read it. I can imagine this coming from a man and still make complete sense.

graeme 11y ago

If you read paulg's twitter feed, it sounds like he has been spending a lot of time with children since retiring from YC. There's no need to twist words – I'd interpret Jessica's words as expressing a normal, human, desire to spend time with and get to know her children. She's been working at a very high level, and likely has seen much less of her children than someone working a regular 9-5 would.

Mz 11y ago

I really wish that we would not conflate a woman's stated desire to spend time with her offspring with general societal criticism. If she wishes to spend time with them and can arrange to do so, good on her. Criticizing mothers for not spending enough time with the kids while not criticizing fathers is certainly sexist and problematic. But real parental involvement is generally understood to be good for the kids. So, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater here.

jl 11y ago

Actually, I "blamed" myself for that because I never set up any formal parental leave program at YC back in 2009, which I would have been responsible for doing.

wglb 11y ago

I started my consulting business at the same time my kids were born. Fortunately, most of the work was done in my home office, and so I was with them as much as their mother during their first two years. The world is a bit stacked against those who aren't at home for their kids childhood. For example, in the first year, a kid will grow a tiny bit during each nap that they take. If you are at home, you get to see this. If you are at work away from home, you miss two or three tiny growth increments each day. So it is both parent's obligation, but can be difficult to carry off if one works away from home.

funkyy 11y ago

I usually expect HN to be of much higher standards than this...

prawn 11y ago

In that case, it looks like it was framed as her personal interest rather than female-specific and an obligation. If it's her personal interest, why judge it?