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Why did you bother having a child then? Really? You're excited until they wake up by themselves, get ready and go away? So what's the point of their life and yo

by honua 11y ago

Why did you bother having a child then? Really? You're excited until they wake up by themselves, get ready and go away? So what's the point of their life and yours intersecting? A few minutes after school to say 'hey' before they go off to do homework and sleep? I appreciate that not everyone can do this, but my wife and I home school our daughter, and one of the very things we talk about is that we're glad we don't have to wake up earlier than our bodies need to get the child somewhere. That's not the main reason we home school, but it's a nice benefit. Edit: I meant to add that the main reason we home school is to get to spend the most amount of time with her as we can. It's such a precious time and I wouldn't want to see her gone most of the day.

austinjp 11y ago
I think that's harsh, smacks of competitive parentism, and dismisses the value of sleep. You can love your children but struggle with aspects of their behaviour, and you certainly can't predict what they're going to be longer before they've been born. Every parent I know loves their children and is delighted with them, but they leap at any opportunity to spend time without them. A night out with adult friends while the kids sleep at the grandparents' is a luxury to be seized. Not quite what the previous poster was getting at, just another data point in the complex relationship between parent and child.
dang 11y ago
> Why did you bother having a child then? Really? This is unduly personal and not in the spirit of civility which is supposed to govern this site. In fact it's a downright nasty response to cesarbs's perfectly cordial comment. Please don't post like this. If you'd left (or edited) out the first paragraph, the comment would have made your point without putting someone else down. We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11410231 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11410231 and marked it off-topic.
- kuschku 11y ago
  By the way, @dang, is there a specific amount of karma after which I can post comments more often? Most of the time I get questions as comments to my comments, and can’t answer them because of "You are submitting too fast". So I type my answer to that comment, leave the browser tab open, and wait an hour to submit it. This obviously makes discussion with others quite problematic, and I’ve even thought about starting a second account just to be able to answer other comments with less than a few hours delay. (Ironically, this comment was also posted in a similar way: I wrote it 2 hours before posting, but had to wait again and again for the "You are submitting too fast" to end).
  - dang 11y ago
    This is the sort of thing that the site guidelines ask you to send to us at hn@ycombinator.com.
deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
pbhjpbhj 11y ago
I appreciate much of your sentiment, we've used some flexischooling when we've been able: but your emphasis leans towards children being there to fulfill you rather than the reverse (or probably more correctly a balance of both). There is a spectrum of characters in children, some don't respond well to homeschooling (or other non-school based education). Moreover, some parents don't have the knowledge, imagination or general wherewithal to be directly responsible for aspects of their child's education. Children are also for society as a whole, as much as continuation of the species is considered a moral and necessary good! Even if you can't see them all the time there is still good reason to be involved in their being raised, educated, integrated in to the future of our species ... we could perhaps plan it all a bit better though.

by honua 11y ago

austinjp 11y ago

I think that's harsh, smacks of competitive parentism, and dismisses the value of sleep. You can love your children but struggle with aspects of their behaviour, and you certainly can't predict what they're going to be longer before they've been born. Every parent I know loves their children and is delighted with them, but they leap at any opportunity to spend time without them. A night out with adult friends while the kids sleep at the grandparents' is a luxury to be seized. Not quite what the previous poster was getting at, just another data point in the complex relationship between parent and child.

dang 11y ago

> Why did you bother having a child then? Really? This is unduly personal and not in the spirit of civility which is supposed to govern this site. In fact it's a downright nasty response to cesarbs's perfectly cordial comment. Please don't post like this. If you'd left (or edited) out the first paragraph, the comment would have made your point without putting someone else down. We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11410231 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11410231 and marked it off-topic.

kuschku 11y ago
By the way, @dang, is there a specific amount of karma after which I can post comments more often? Most of the time I get questions as comments to my comments, and can’t answer them because of "You are submitting too fast". So I type my answer to that comment, leave the browser tab open, and wait an hour to submit it. This obviously makes discussion with others quite problematic, and I’ve even thought about starting a second account just to be able to answer other comments with less than a few hours delay. (Ironically, this comment was also posted in a similar way: I wrote it 2 hours before posting, but had to wait again and again for the "You are submitting too fast" to end).
- dang 11y ago
  This is the sort of thing that the site guidelines ask you to send to us at hn@ycombinator.com.

deleted 11y ago

[deleted]

pbhjpbhj 11y ago

I appreciate much of your sentiment, we've used some flexischooling when we've been able: but your emphasis leans towards children being there to fulfill you rather than the reverse (or probably more correctly a balance of both). There is a spectrum of characters in children, some don't respond well to homeschooling (or other non-school based education). Moreover, some parents don't have the knowledge, imagination or general wherewithal to be directly responsible for aspects of their child's education. Children are also for society as a whole, as much as continuation of the species is considered a moral and necessary good! Even if you can't see them all the time there is still good reason to be involved in their being raised, educated, integrated in to the future of our species ... we could perhaps plan it all a bit better though.