3 ms·

I can say from experience that this is on the right track. My only addition would be to say that parents need to be ready to "jump" to facilitate new interests

I can say from experience that this is on the right track. My only addition would be to say that parents need to be ready to "jump" to facilitate new interests while at the same time they'll need to accept the fact that most of these new ventures will "flame-out", and this needs to be allowed to happen without the typical guilt associated with "giving up".

pbhjpbhj 17y ago
Some guilt associated with giving up seems rather a good thing. If you give up because you're just being lazy or because someone made fun of you then you're giving up for the wrong reasons. Some activities that improve ones mindset, health, outlook, happiness are hard and require motivation - developing the ability to persist with something you find hard or challenging in some way is also a very important skill. Your suggestion only works for parents with near limitless means. If my kid took a passion for piano, say, and we bought a piano we couldn't just buy something else that year if he wanted to do something else and we'd be unlikely to sacrifice our holidays 2 years in a row to indulge him if he's going to quit. You make your bed, you sleep in it.
- jasongullickson 17y ago
  I would say associating a "cost" has value vs. "guilt". Most children can understand that choosing one activity may exclude another due to the limited resources available, however making them feel like a bad person because it turns out that they don't like something they thought they would like before they had tried it doesn't seem to have any effect other than to discourage one from trying new things.
  - pbhjpbhj 17y ago
    But the realisation that the cost has been wasted is guilt. That is how associating the cost is of benefit. In some ways I must discourage my child from trying new things - he has to somehow, and I'll help however I can, determine before we buy the necessary equipment whether he is going to appreciate the cost in terms of joy/fulfilment/health/happiness from the activity. For those super-wealthy this is obviously a non-issue. Suppose your child wants to try running an international diamond mining corp. You're not going to discourage them by not buying one are you, you bad bad parent you. ;0)

pbhjpbhj 17y ago

Some guilt associated with giving up seems rather a good thing. If you give up because you're just being lazy or because someone made fun of you then you're giving up for the wrong reasons. Some activities that improve ones mindset, health, outlook, happiness are hard and require motivation - developing the ability to persist with something you find hard or challenging in some way is also a very important skill. Your suggestion only works for parents with near limitless means. If my kid took a passion for piano, say, and we bought a piano we couldn't just buy something else that year if he wanted to do something else and we'd be unlikely to sacrifice our holidays 2 years in a row to indulge him if he's going to quit. You make your bed, you sleep in it.

jasongullickson 17y ago
I would say associating a "cost" has value vs. "guilt". Most children can understand that choosing one activity may exclude another due to the limited resources available, however making them feel like a bad person because it turns out that they don't like something they thought they would like before they had tried it doesn't seem to have any effect other than to discourage one from trying new things.
- pbhjpbhj 17y ago
  But the realisation that the cost has been wasted is guilt. That is how associating the cost is of benefit. In some ways I must discourage my child from trying new things - he has to somehow, and I'll help however I can, determine before we buy the necessary equipment whether he is going to appreciate the cost in terms of joy/fulfilment/health/happiness from the activity. For those super-wealthy this is obviously a non-issue. Suppose your child wants to try running an international diamond mining corp. You're not going to discourage them by not buying one are you, you bad bad parent you. ;0)