6 ms·

I didn't find it surprising. I'm white, and I've been on all-white teams where everyone else watched the same TV shows or went to the same movies or played the

I didn't find it surprising. I'm white, and I've been on all-white teams where everyone else watched the same TV shows or went to the same movies or played the same video games, and I didn't. Those common interests would feel like the only thing they ever talked about, and it would feel very unwelcoming. Part of the problem is just luck of the draw in terms of the team you get placed on. If that team is all into the Marvel Cinematic Universe and you aren't, you're going to feel like an outsider, no matter what races are involved. If the team has a broader set of interests, it's far more likely the new person will be able to feel like they fit in. The other part, too, is of course that lots of engineer types are essentially introverted, and have a really hard time actively welcoming people with varied interests into their social circle. Part of it is just a matter of time, but if you go in with the expectation of feeling like an outsider and your first few weeks fit that expectation, it's a bad situation.

ryanlol 11y ago
But that's not what she says, her problem isn't that she doesn't like Marvel Cinematic Universe but that she feels that she doesn't have much in common with people of other races.
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- huac 11y ago
  those are basically the same thing to put it another way: if your white friends grew up watching spongebob squarepants and you grew up without cable, that could certainly make a cultural difference
  - ryanlol 11y ago
    They aren't though. Color isn't the defining factor on what TV shows you get to watch.
    - deleted 11y ago
      [deleted]
    - umanwizard 11y ago
      What makes you think it isn't. Well, not "color" in the electromagnetic radiation sense, but "cultural group". Turns out, the latter is strongly correlated with the former.
  - autoreleasepool 11y ago
    > grew up without cable, that could certainly make a cultural difference I don't understand. This would happen to anyone who grew up in poverty. What does it have to do with race?
    - gknoy 11y ago
      Growing up, my parents watched pretty much only PBS and listened to NPR / classical music. Riding the bus for the first time in middle school, I was exposed to a lot of popular things (music) that felt very foreign. Any joke that referenced song lyrics or a particular actor was lost on me for a while. It's like making a meme-related joke to my parents: they weren't exposed to it, they don't get it. In many ways they don't feel like part of my "tribe" (nerds?). I can certainly see how being exposed to (or immersed in) a different culture could affect your feeling of belonging in a different one. For example, I didn't grow up listening to rap. If all of my coworkers listened to rap music, and talked about it in Slack or the like, I would feel almost completely lost. I appreciate flow, interesting lyrics, and the mastery that the artists have over words, but there are many layers of references to prior artists or prior songs that I am not at all familiar with, and didn't even realize existed until I started looking at the Genius.com lyrics for some songs I'd heard on the radio. So, some new song comes out that references Big Names in the industry, and I would not get them at all (or even know they were references to things) unless I were already familiar, or were dedicated to pursuing that art as an interest. The same kind of thing applies for things like TV show references (Friends, Seinfeld, Simpsons, Family Guy, Spongebob, Star Trek, etc) or movies or comic books.
- Larrikin 11y ago
  But thats not what the article said. >“It could be something as simple as, like, what they watch on TV or what kind of books they like to read. And those are just not TV shows that I watch or books that I read.” It didn't say she thought those were books and TV shows that only people of other races like.
  - ryanlol 11y ago
    Yeah, but that's not related to the race aspect. Why bring up her race unless that's the reason for why they don't watch the same TV shows or read the same books?
    - Larrikin 11y ago
      Different races are exposed to different cultures and when everyone knows about some aspect and you don't, you will feel left out and experience culture shock. My elementary school and middle school were about 95% black with rest mostly being white and my high school was about 85% white with the next largest percentage being Asian. The kinds of music, tv shows, and activities people did on the weekend had barely any overlap. Its not that those part of the culture are only for one race, or that you think one culture is better than another, its just what you are used to. I was exposed to and learn to like a lot of new things, but theres plenty I learned about and just didn't like. It just took time to figure those things out. What bothered most of the other minority students the most is that just because we would sit together at lunch, somehow we were being racists, when in fact it was just wanting to talk about things that most of the other school had either no clue or no interest in talking about. It wasn't closed off, but usually the only people that would come sit at the "black" table were other students who had attended an inner city school like the rest of us.
      - stuxnet79 11y ago
        +1 Quick question, what was your experience as a white person in a majority black school? I always hear about the plight of black students in majority white schools but never the inverse.
- numbsafari 11y ago
  I think that's stretching it. What she said is she doesn't feel like she has much in common with these particular people, not people of other races in general. Most "engineering-types" would probably feel the exact same way if they were asked to join the sales team at their company. Talk about culture shock...
  - pc86 11y ago
    It's not stretching it at all. It's literally what she said: > as the only African American on her team, she didn’t feel she had much in common with her colleagues.
    - PhearTheCeal 11y ago
      Seems quite prejudiced of her to simply look at her colleagues skin color and assume that she doesn't have much in common with them. Unless by "much" she means "her skin color", but that seems even more racist. I'll give the article the benefit of the doubt.
      - dlreeves 11y ago
        What makes you feel that she is making this judgement based on skin color? From my reading it sounds like she tried going to lunch with her coworkers and the conversations that naturally came up were not of interest to her.
        Grishnakh 11y ago
        Cry me a river. Honestly, you're not going to share interests with everyone. I'm a white guy. If I go to lunch with a bunch of manager or sales guys, and they start talking about sports, I'm going to have exact same problem. I don't give two shits about sports, and I think spectator sports are incredibly stupid. So if I find myself in a group of sports fans, then I'm also going to feel that I don't have much in common with these people. Does that mean they're a bunch of racists? Obviously not; we simply don't share the same culture. If the conversation shifts to technology, or sci-fi, or Game of Thrones (a lot of people are into that these days), etc., then I'll be able to join in, but if the sports fans aren't into talking about that stuff over lunch, then I'm out of luck. I'm not going to whine much about it, except maybe for making some snide remarks about how stupid sports fans are, but I'm certainly not going to go on a crusade about it. Luckily, I usually get along pretty well with coworkers this way, but I guess engineers tend not to be sports fanatics as much as the general population. But I certainly have found myself in situations with groups of people with very different interests than myself. I didn't make a big deal out of it; I know that my interests are a little more narrow and that I eschew many things that regular people like (sports, popular TV shows aside from GoT), so I try to find people I do share interests with.
- lagadu 11y ago
  She said she didn't have much in common with those particular people, not non-black people in general. Had she thought that she didn't have enough in common with multiple races to work with them, she wouldn't have tried to work in a place where only 1% of the population would have the slightest chance of having something in common with her (and very reasonably so, if I may add).
tw04 11y ago
So... you either decide you want to be included and try joining in some of the team's shared interests, or you don't. I'm not sure what the problem is - it's no different than being in a regular group of friends when some of them decide to pick up a new hobby/show/whatever. You can either engage and join in, or you can choose not to. Don't whine or act like there's something wrong if you make the decision not to participate though. If you go in and feel like an outsider and DO NOTHING ABOUT IT, there's nobody to blame but yourself. If you actively try to engage and they don't welcome you, you should probably find a new job where people aren't jerks.
- strictnein 11y ago
  I follow sports almost for this reason alone. Really couldn't care about the NBA, NHL, NFL, NCAA, etc, but it helps to at least understand the sports and the major teams and how the seasons are going.
- SerpentJoe 11y ago
  That may be, but nobody was whining. Your solution is in need of a problem.

ryanlol 11y ago

But that's not what she says, her problem isn't that she doesn't like Marvel Cinematic Universe but that she feels that she doesn't have much in common with people of other races.

deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
huac 11y ago
those are basically the same thing to put it another way: if your white friends grew up watching spongebob squarepants and you grew up without cable, that could certainly make a cultural difference
- ryanlol 11y ago
  They aren't though. Color isn't the defining factor on what TV shows you get to watch.
  - deleted 11y ago
    [deleted]
  - umanwizard 11y ago
    What makes you think it isn't. Well, not "color" in the electromagnetic radiation sense, but "cultural group". Turns out, the latter is strongly correlated with the former.
- autoreleasepool 11y ago
  > grew up without cable, that could certainly make a cultural difference I don't understand. This would happen to anyone who grew up in poverty. What does it have to do with race?
  - gknoy 11y ago
    Growing up, my parents watched pretty much only PBS and listened to NPR / classical music. Riding the bus for the first time in middle school, I was exposed to a lot of popular things (music) that felt very foreign. Any joke that referenced song lyrics or a particular actor was lost on me for a while. It's like making a meme-related joke to my parents: they weren't exposed to it, they don't get it. In many ways they don't feel like part of my "tribe" (nerds?). I can certainly see how being exposed to (or immersed in) a different culture could affect your feeling of belonging in a different one. For example, I didn't grow up listening to rap. If all of my coworkers listened to rap music, and talked about it in Slack or the like, I would feel almost completely lost. I appreciate flow, interesting lyrics, and the mastery that the artists have over words, but there are many layers of references to prior artists or prior songs that I am not at all familiar with, and didn't even realize existed until I started looking at the Genius.com lyrics for some songs I'd heard on the radio. So, some new song comes out that references Big Names in the industry, and I would not get them at all (or even know they were references to things) unless I were already familiar, or were dedicated to pursuing that art as an interest. The same kind of thing applies for things like TV show references (Friends, Seinfeld, Simpsons, Family Guy, Spongebob, Star Trek, etc) or movies or comic books.
Larrikin 11y ago
But thats not what the article said. >“It could be something as simple as, like, what they watch on TV or what kind of books they like to read. And those are just not TV shows that I watch or books that I read.” It didn't say she thought those were books and TV shows that only people of other races like.
- ryanlol 11y ago
  Yeah, but that's not related to the race aspect. Why bring up her race unless that's the reason for why they don't watch the same TV shows or read the same books?
  - Larrikin 11y ago
    Different races are exposed to different cultures and when everyone knows about some aspect and you don't, you will feel left out and experience culture shock. My elementary school and middle school were about 95% black with rest mostly being white and my high school was about 85% white with the next largest percentage being Asian. The kinds of music, tv shows, and activities people did on the weekend had barely any overlap. Its not that those part of the culture are only for one race, or that you think one culture is better than another, its just what you are used to. I was exposed to and learn to like a lot of new things, but theres plenty I learned about and just didn't like. It just took time to figure those things out. What bothered most of the other minority students the most is that just because we would sit together at lunch, somehow we were being racists, when in fact it was just wanting to talk about things that most of the other school had either no clue or no interest in talking about. It wasn't closed off, but usually the only people that would come sit at the "black" table were other students who had attended an inner city school like the rest of us.
    - stuxnet79 11y ago
      +1 Quick question, what was your experience as a white person in a majority black school? I always hear about the plight of black students in majority white schools but never the inverse.
numbsafari 11y ago
I think that's stretching it. What she said is she doesn't feel like she has much in common with these particular people, not people of other races in general. Most "engineering-types" would probably feel the exact same way if they were asked to join the sales team at their company. Talk about culture shock...
- pc86 11y ago
  It's not stretching it at all. It's literally what she said: > as the only African American on her team, she didn’t feel she had much in common with her colleagues.
  - PhearTheCeal 11y ago
    Seems quite prejudiced of her to simply look at her colleagues skin color and assume that she doesn't have much in common with them. Unless by "much" she means "her skin color", but that seems even more racist. I'll give the article the benefit of the doubt.
    - dlreeves 11y ago
      What makes you feel that she is making this judgement based on skin color? From my reading it sounds like she tried going to lunch with her coworkers and the conversations that naturally came up were not of interest to her.
      - Grishnakh 11y ago
        Cry me a river. Honestly, you're not going to share interests with everyone. I'm a white guy. If I go to lunch with a bunch of manager or sales guys, and they start talking about sports, I'm going to have exact same problem. I don't give two shits about sports, and I think spectator sports are incredibly stupid. So if I find myself in a group of sports fans, then I'm also going to feel that I don't have much in common with these people. Does that mean they're a bunch of racists? Obviously not; we simply don't share the same culture. If the conversation shifts to technology, or sci-fi, or Game of Thrones (a lot of people are into that these days), etc., then I'll be able to join in, but if the sports fans aren't into talking about that stuff over lunch, then I'm out of luck. I'm not going to whine much about it, except maybe for making some snide remarks about how stupid sports fans are, but I'm certainly not going to go on a crusade about it. Luckily, I usually get along pretty well with coworkers this way, but I guess engineers tend not to be sports fanatics as much as the general population. But I certainly have found myself in situations with groups of people with very different interests than myself. I didn't make a big deal out of it; I know that my interests are a little more narrow and that I eschew many things that regular people like (sports, popular TV shows aside from GoT), so I try to find people I do share interests with.
lagadu 11y ago
She said she didn't have much in common with those particular people, not non-black people in general. Had she thought that she didn't have enough in common with multiple races to work with them, she wouldn't have tried to work in a place where only 1% of the population would have the slightest chance of having something in common with her (and very reasonably so, if I may add).

tw04 11y ago

So... you either decide you want to be included and try joining in some of the team's shared interests, or you don't. I'm not sure what the problem is - it's no different than being in a regular group of friends when some of them decide to pick up a new hobby/show/whatever. You can either engage and join in, or you can choose not to. Don't whine or act like there's something wrong if you make the decision not to participate though. If you go in and feel like an outsider and DO NOTHING ABOUT IT, there's nobody to blame but yourself. If you actively try to engage and they don't welcome you, you should probably find a new job where people aren't jerks.

strictnein 11y ago
I follow sports almost for this reason alone. Really couldn't care about the NBA, NHL, NFL, NCAA, etc, but it helps to at least understand the sports and the major teams and how the seasons are going.
SerpentJoe 11y ago
That may be, but nobody was whining. Your solution is in need of a problem.