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Other posters are giving good advice. I agree with finding a better place to work. However, reading between the lines, I have some more general advice which y

Other posters are giving good advice. I agree with finding a better place to work. However, reading between the lines, I have some more general advice which you can follow or not, as you see fit. As one of the other posters mentioned, you seem to be young. I say that not because you say anything in particular that gives it away, but that most of us old guys have gone through what you're going through many times before. Team lead is usually as much a political position as it is a technical position. Knowing how to deal with these issues and how to surf the chaos that can happen at the programmer/manager interface is a big part of the job. I don't want to kick you while you're down, but it's important to realize that you have not succeeded in the political side of your job. It may very well be the case that you could not succeed, no matter what you did. That happens. However, you need to be quicker on the draw to either solve the problem or get out. It's way too late now (which is why the advice here is uniformly telling you to get out). In fact, understanding when not to take a team lead position is very important for your career. When you have a failed project like this (and from your description, you can feel free to mentally label this project with a big red "failed" stamp), it is quite important to reflect upon what you could have done to save it. It's easy to say, "It was K's fault" or "Nobody listened to me", but if you were to save the project, it is entirely possible that it will require you to influence K in a certain way. Or perhaps you need to get more influence with people higher up in the project. The fact that your performance report was downgraded indicates a certain souring of the relationship with those above you. Rather than worrying about whether they can do this, you should be wondering, "Where did I screw up that relationship?" My advice to you is to find a position with a very strong lead developer. When interviewing for a new position, make sure to seek out the lead you will be working for and choose a group where you will learn the skills that will enable you to be successful the next time you are in that role. I would advise you to avoid another lead position until you find that strong mentor (unless you are hard headed and don't mind the trial and error approach -- which is fine, but a bit taxing stress-wise ;-) ). Good luck!

ScottBurson 11y ago
> Rather than worrying about whether they can do this, you should be wondering, "Where did I screw up that relationship?" Yeah, well, the OP might have screwed it up, or K might have successfully backstabbed the OP. Offering the back end team one's own team members is a selfless act. I'll wager it's not the only way that the OP has demonstrated a commitment to the success of the project. A healthy organization recognizes such a commitment and rewards it with increased influence at the very least (ideally, with increased compensation as well). This is not a healthy organization, and the OP can't fix it. It's time to leave.
- Jemaclus 11y ago
  That may be true, but self-reflection is a win/win scenario. You can always make a situation better, even if you can't fix it. OP should definitely leave the job, but the GP is correct in that he shouldn't just say "It's K's fault" and leave it at that. The question to ask yourself is: if I ever get into this situation again, what will I do differently to effect a different outcome?
  - gardnr 11y ago
    So true. I find this to be the case with all bad experiences in life, not just professional ones. It's easy to place blame and rationalize how it's not your fault. Playing through scenarios of how you could have single handedly altered the course is a great learning exercise. It's too late for this project and it is time to set it down as gracefully as possible and walk away, but it's never to late to learn how to do better in the future.
  - helplessdev 11y ago
    Thank you. I agree. There is not a doubt in my mind that I could have done certain things better, and I certainly do not deny that. I still have a lot to learn.
- FennNaten 11y ago
  Playing the devil's advocate a bit and getting into K's shoes, I could argue that: "those front-end devs that were 'forcefully' assigned to me didn't climb the learning curve fast enough and have wasted a lot of time getting up to speed on the backend technology, while pushing bad commits that initial backend team had to fix. You know, as I already stated and as I know from experience, and you should have listened to me, throwing more people in on a late software project only adds delay. So, in fact, it wasn't a selfless act, front-end lacked work to do and just pushed their devs onto us to swallow our billable hours without touching theirs, that was sabotage, if not just incompetence." etc. Note, that's not at all what I think, but if I was playing a politics game, and if I was a malicious recognized team lead with several successes in my track record, that's what (or some variation) I could tell management to get out and put the blame on OP, the young team lead which has everything to prove. Sure, an org with clueless management unable to assess the situation may not be worth staying in, but things must be kept in perspective, and here we have only one narrative to get an idea of what really happened.
dennisgorelik 11y ago
That's an excellent analysis of what happened. > you have not succeeded He failed [at political part of his job]. Why soften the blow? > Where did I screw up that relationship? Exactly - that should be the focus. Change what you can change and do not focus to much on things that you can not change. > find a position with a very strong lead developer It's good to have a strong leader, but: 1) How do you recognize a strong leader? 2) In order to become a good leader yourself you still need practicing it. Just observing leadership in action is not enough.
- gorbachev 11y ago
  I read something yesterday that might help with finding jobs with strong leaders (or at least avoiding ones with bad ones): https://hbr.org/2015/12/how-to-spot-a-bad-boss-during-an-interview https://hbr.org/2015/12/how-to-spot-a-bad-boss-during-an-int...
helplessdev 11y ago
I do not see this as you kicking me while I'm down. I appreciate all of the advice in this thread. I've figured I need to leave (bit hard now that's it the holiday season though), but the HN community has always been tremendously insightful and supportive throughout my years here. I'm certain there are many things I could have done differently for a better outcome, and I may not be able to identify all of them, but even taking to heart a couple of these will help a lot. Thanks again!

ScottBurson 11y ago

> Rather than worrying about whether they can do this, you should be wondering, "Where did I screw up that relationship?" Yeah, well, the OP might have screwed it up, or K might have successfully backstabbed the OP. Offering the back end team one's own team members is a selfless act. I'll wager it's not the only way that the OP has demonstrated a commitment to the success of the project. A healthy organization recognizes such a commitment and rewards it with increased influence at the very least (ideally, with increased compensation as well). This is not a healthy organization, and the OP can't fix it. It's time to leave.

Jemaclus 11y ago
That may be true, but self-reflection is a win/win scenario. You can always make a situation better, even if you can't fix it. OP should definitely leave the job, but the GP is correct in that he shouldn't just say "It's K's fault" and leave it at that. The question to ask yourself is: if I ever get into this situation again, what will I do differently to effect a different outcome?
- gardnr 11y ago
  So true. I find this to be the case with all bad experiences in life, not just professional ones. It's easy to place blame and rationalize how it's not your fault. Playing through scenarios of how you could have single handedly altered the course is a great learning exercise. It's too late for this project and it is time to set it down as gracefully as possible and walk away, but it's never to late to learn how to do better in the future.
- helplessdev 11y ago
  Thank you. I agree. There is not a doubt in my mind that I could have done certain things better, and I certainly do not deny that. I still have a lot to learn.
FennNaten 11y ago
Playing the devil's advocate a bit and getting into K's shoes, I could argue that: "those front-end devs that were 'forcefully' assigned to me didn't climb the learning curve fast enough and have wasted a lot of time getting up to speed on the backend technology, while pushing bad commits that initial backend team had to fix. You know, as I already stated and as I know from experience, and you should have listened to me, throwing more people in on a late software project only adds delay. So, in fact, it wasn't a selfless act, front-end lacked work to do and just pushed their devs onto us to swallow our billable hours without touching theirs, that was sabotage, if not just incompetence." etc. Note, that's not at all what I think, but if I was playing a politics game, and if I was a malicious recognized team lead with several successes in my track record, that's what (or some variation) I could tell management to get out and put the blame on OP, the young team lead which has everything to prove. Sure, an org with clueless management unable to assess the situation may not be worth staying in, but things must be kept in perspective, and here we have only one narrative to get an idea of what really happened.

dennisgorelik 11y ago

That's an excellent analysis of what happened. > you have not succeeded He failed [at political part of his job]. Why soften the blow? > Where did I screw up that relationship? Exactly - that should be the focus. Change what you can change and do not focus to much on things that you can not change. > find a position with a very strong lead developer It's good to have a strong leader, but: 1) How do you recognize a strong leader? 2) In order to become a good leader yourself you still need practicing it. Just observing leadership in action is not enough.

gorbachev 11y ago
I read something yesterday that might help with finding jobs with strong leaders (or at least avoiding ones with bad ones): https://hbr.org/2015/12/how-to-spot-a-bad-boss-during-an-interview https://hbr.org/2015/12/how-to-spot-a-bad-boss-during-an-int...

helplessdev 11y ago

I do not see this as you kicking me while I'm down. I appreciate all of the advice in this thread. I've figured I need to leave (bit hard now that's it the holiday season though), but the HN community has always been tremendously insightful and supportive throughout my years here. I'm certain there are many things I could have done differently for a better outcome, and I may not be able to identify all of them, but even taking to heart a couple of these will help a lot. Thanks again!