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As someone who will soon be a new parent, how important do you think this "aura of infallibility" is? Obviously you want to reassure your kid whenever possible

by Spoom 11y ago

As someone who will soon be a new parent, how important do you think this "aura of infallibility" is? Obviously you want to reassure your kid whenever possible, but do they need to think that you're essentially always right? What if you discover that you weren't?

throwaway_gfsd 11y ago
Don't over think things. Be kind and gentle. Don't be their best friend -- do be their best teacher. If they discover you weren't right, then apologise to them just as you would in any other situation where you are wrong. What they learn off you is how to be a human, not how to be right 100% of the time. [At the start, they only need cuddles, feeds and cleaning anyway so you have time to learn as you go] Father of 3 preschoolers speaking. I'm sure there's more to come.
steverb 11y ago
No the parent you were asking, but my philosophy with my kids has always been to own up to my mistakes as quickly as possible and then make it as right as I can. I've had to apologize to each of my kids more times than I can count. The benefit that I've seen is that they are all willing to apologize to me as well. It seems to have worked well so far, but my oldest is just 18 and the sample size is small.
flashman 11y ago
Infallibility is probably the wrong word, on second thoughts. Part of what I mean is you want your kids to know that you'll be there for them and you always have their best interests at heart. You want them to rely on you like the sun coming up in the morning, and you want to be able to bear that weight. Stability breeds healthy kids who aren't anxious about sudden change. But if you make a mistake, you have to show them that it's OK to back down and apologise. Because they will know when you're being unfair, or if you're saying one thing but doing another. You're not earning their respect and trust if you do otherwise.

by Spoom 11y ago

throwaway_gfsd 11y ago

Don't over think things. Be kind and gentle. Don't be their best friend -- do be their best teacher. If they discover you weren't right, then apologise to them just as you would in any other situation where you are wrong. What they learn off you is how to be a human, not how to be right 100% of the time. [At the start, they only need cuddles, feeds and cleaning anyway so you have time to learn as you go] Father of 3 preschoolers speaking. I'm sure there's more to come.

steverb 11y ago

No the parent you were asking, but my philosophy with my kids has always been to own up to my mistakes as quickly as possible and then make it as right as I can. I've had to apologize to each of my kids more times than I can count. The benefit that I've seen is that they are all willing to apologize to me as well. It seems to have worked well so far, but my oldest is just 18 and the sample size is small.

flashman 11y ago

Infallibility is probably the wrong word, on second thoughts. Part of what I mean is you want your kids to know that you'll be there for them and you always have their best interests at heart. You want them to rely on you like the sun coming up in the morning, and you want to be able to bear that weight. Stability breeds healthy kids who aren't anxious about sudden change. But if you make a mistake, you have to show them that it's OK to back down and apologise. Because they will know when you're being unfair, or if you're saying one thing but doing another. You're not earning their respect and trust if you do otherwise.