5 ms·

Don’t Hit Send: Angry Emails Just Make You Angrier

75 points by rubikscube 11y ago

hliyan 11y ago
I wholeheartedly agree. I've learned this lesson the hard way, several times over. Catharsis is frequently not a healthy way to deal with anger. In many cases, anger is just a temporary storm in your brain that you need to let pass. It's not sealing the spout of some Freudian kettle that will result in a future explosion (though sometimes long-held grudges can be just that). It is never a good idea to make any sort of decision while under the influence of emotion. The advice I give myself: "Sleep on it. If you still want to do it tomorrow morning, knock yourself out."
tomjen3 11y ago
The main thesis is probably not true, but the advice about writing the email and not sending it is straight out of how to win friends and influence people.
acabal 11y ago
This is so true--I learned this long ago back when Scribophile was new. Members would sometimes get in to fights with each other, then email me in anger about how such-and-such person is terrible and how I was terrible for allowing terrible things to happen on the site. When I was new to everything I would email back, pointing out the error of their ways--often sharply, because I had been put in a bad mood. This never, ever worked. Not once. It only made things worse. I soon learned that often the best response is none at all. Sometimes a person needs to vent, and by whatever chance you end up being the punching bag. There's a 90% chance that if you don't hit 'reply' to that angry email with an angry email of your own, that the person will forget things in the morning and go about business as usual. Next time you feel the overwhelming urge to write an angry email, or to put someone in their place, make yourself wait till tomorrow to do it. You'll find that most of the time the urge will have passed, life will go on just fine, and you won't have made an enemy in the end.
- hliyan 11y ago
  I was on Scribophile too. But I guess I came in after this era. Things were very civil except for the occasional misfit.
molecule 11y ago
Venting is positive reinforcement of expression of anger. Renowned Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh calls this 'Training in Aggression': > People who use venting techniques like hitting a pillow or shouting are actually rehearsing anger. When someone is angry and vents their anger by hitting a pillow, they are learning a dangerous habit. They are training in aggression. Instead, our approach is to generate the energy of mindfulness and embrace anger every time it manifests. - http://www.lionsroar.com/loosening-the-knots-of-anger/ http://www.lionsroar.com/loosening-the-knots-of-anger/
- noondip 11y ago
  What absolute nonsense. Beating a pillow -- you are not hurting anybody and there is nothing wrong in it. The important distinction is to be aware of and to express your anger, obviously not at others, but at the pillow (or exercise, etc). Such a catharsis will make you feel unburdened and relaxed, more so than from control and condemnation.
  - enjo 11y ago
    I don't think that is good advice. There is a lot of interesting science that suggests exactly the opposite. Being angry succeeds in only one thing: making you angrier. Here is a good overview: https://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/jbickfor/bushman2002.pdf https://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/jbickfor/bushman2002.pdf
    - cthalupa 11y ago
      Speaking purely from my own anecdotal personal experience: Dwelling on something and thinking about how angry it makes me certainly does make me angrier. However, in the handful of times of my life that I've gotten really, truly, into a rage over something monumental, I had no way to actually let go of it until I had a chance to go scream into a pillow and punched my mattress a few times. The relief was pretty immediate - almost all of the anger drained away. Prior to that I was too amped up to do anything constructive about the issue. After, I was able to focus enough to get to work on fixing it. I don't know how to reconcile my own personal experiences with that research, outside of a cop-out answer of "Not everyone is the same".
kordless 11y ago
The energy for anger comes from outside. Anger itself is an internal emotion that helps you 'get shit done', but it has to run on that energy to function. When I feel myself getting angry, I try focusing on being present and find an outlet for the energy. Games are a good way to vent. :)
- meric 11y ago
  Agreed - it's fuel to push things forward. My house gets a lot cleaner when I'm angry.
Qantourisc 11y ago
What about things that are worth being angry about ?
- praptak 11y ago
  They probably aren't. They are worth dealing with and anger is probably a hindrance here rather than being helpful.
- mikekchar 11y ago
  I once had a friend with which I fought almost all the time. We were miserable, the two of us. Eventually, he just dropped me (didn't return my calls, answer my emails, etc). I was very angry, but decided not to do anything about it. Over time, I came to respect his decision and even be grateful for it. I have no idea how he is doing. I tried to send him an email, but he didn't respond ;-) I'm very much happier without him in my life. I owe him a debt I can never repay. I hope he is similarly happy without me in his life. If there is something that your friends are doing that causes you a problem, you can discuss that very reasonably without being angry. If it's something that really, truly deserves your anger, then it is probably best not to discuss it at all. There is no need to make everyone even worse off than they were before. Letting go of the situation that caused the anger is the first step in healing yourself. Don't bind yourself to it. Sometimes this means losing a friend, but in this case, wouldn't that be a potentially good solution?
lwhalen 11y ago
I don't even have to read the article to know I agree. Every time I've actually hit 'send' on an angry email, or 'post' in a thread, I get a temporary burst of self-righteousness, and... crushing regret the next morning. Every time. You'd think id've learned by now...
kristopolous 11y ago
reminds me of my languished (v1) project that is the bullet-proof shoe for people who shoot themselves in the foot: http://frustrometer.com/ http://frustrometer.com/ I just couldn't get a data model with results I was happy with. I should probably revisit it and tough it out.
cattict 11y ago
I thought HN blocked paywall scam submissions?
z3t4 11y ago
Just reading this thread made me angry, as I remembered every time I've been angry.
labster 11y ago
I agree with the title of the article, but disagree with its thesis. Anger is an emotional sign from your brain that something is wrong. And actually sitting down to write the angry email makes me actually think everything through. Without identifying the source of my anger, the rage just builds. But then, for the love of Linus, don't actually click send. This is like committing untested, breaking social code straight to production. It might work out for the best, but only if you're lucky. Like all writing, it needs to be refactored and edited; it needs to achieve a purpose other than making you feel temporarily justified. So wait an hour if you're a little angry. Wait six hours if you're a lot angry. (I wish Gmail could detect angry emails and replace "send" with a hamburger button, then I'd definitely have to calm down to figure out how to send it.) But anger is not useless. I've launched websites because of a long, slow-burning ire at other sites, and it fueled my work for years. It's possible to channel rage into creative work. So, if your brain works that way, use it to show your own correctness and creativity, not another's problems.
- ak39 11y ago
  But then, for the love of Linus, don't actually click send. Quotable classic! LOL. True, anger can be a fuel to get things done. But it's not a good fuel to use for long term sustainability. Blood pressure and stress are killers, my friend. There's got to be another way. I have battled with an angry temperament my whole life. Stocked up on all kinds of CBT material. I'm 42 and as the mist and fog of testosterone is clearing with age, I can now see myself with a bit more sharper focus. It's hilarious. Sometimes I am baffled that I blew so much steam over something trivial! :-( Then the shame of getting angry follows shortly thereafter. Which then makes me angry with myself about the whole affair. Somewhat. I've also noticed something interesting over the years ... that a lot of folks with what we call "shorter fuses" are often used for mild entertainment by others who deliberately provoke "short fusers". The sooner the "angros" realise that they are entertainment for others, the quicker they will recover from being reactionary personalities. Let the psychopaths find other forms of entertainment. I grew up as an exercise-induced asthmatic kid, often sidelined in sports and games. I don't know whether this has shaped my mildly resentful, impatient and contrarian personality. (I am not ready to call myself cynical yet!) :-) It has taken me decades of personal rehabilitation in the company of a loving, caring, understanding and forgiving wife. God bless the Beauty whose job it is to tame the Beast! (I'm going to hug her right away!)
gadders 11y ago
For those that haven't read How to Win Friends and Influence People, Lincoln used to write long letters telling his generals how incompetent they are, but never sent them. It was his way of getting it out of his system. Some people recommend doing this with emails as well - type but don't send. If you do do this though, make sure you don't send the angry version of your email by mistake: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2951973/Is-rudest-rejection-letter-Jobseeker-shocked-sent-email-calling-old-aesthetically-challenged-professional-pr-no-teeth.html http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2951973/Is-rudest-re...
- linuxlizard 11y ago
  Writing longhand helps me blow off steam. I'll write long, scathing diatribes full of bad grammar, misspelled words, and rude doodles. Then when I'm feeling calmer, I'll drop them in the shred bin.
- shanecleveland 11y ago
  I've written many letters I've never sent. I prefer communicating in writing, anyway. And they are not all venting or letters of frustration. Some are just my way of formulating an idea, opinion or position on a subject. In addition to "getting it out," it helps me to better organize my thoughts, rather than just having them swirling in my head. I can then have some confidence that I have fully extrapolated my thoughts and provided justified for myself the way I feel.
- canthonytucci 11y ago
  I find it best to make sure not to fill out the "to" field in emails which I know are going to be "controversial". An errant tab+enter in gmail can really make the day a lot more complex. Edit: Once it's been toned down, if it still needs to be sent (usually it doesn't), adding the recipient is the last step, and final filter that a nasty message should pass. Reading a fuming email to a spouse or friend before sending is also a good way to keep them in the drafts folder and out of other people's inboxes.
- dllthomas 11y ago
  "Never sent, never signed" I always liked that.
InclinedPlane 11y ago
What's missing here is the most important factor of all, which isn't even directly tied to anger: the fight or flight response. Humans have a biological reaction to certain kinds of stress which triggers this response and the impact on the ability to interact well with other humans is disastrous. We need to understand this, learn how to spot it, and learn how to deal with it. When a person is in this state they are literally less intelligent and less rational than normal, by an enormous margin. This is by design, because the response is geared toward enabling you to survive a life or death threat. It gives you an edge by preparing you for the worst case scenario and encouraging you to give everything you've got. When you're sprinting away or wrestling with a leopard or some such these things matter. You can't afford to doubt what you're doing or to have second thoughts even for a moment. You are much better off fighting like a feral animal or running like a scared rabbit than intentionally deliberating what to do next, and that affects your survival chances a lot. But we don't live in those circumstances any more, yet getting in a heated argument at work, online, or with a significant other still triggers those same responses. But now they are harmful almost all of the time. This is precisely why there is so little rationality in a heated argument, because both sides "have their blood up", which means they are in the midst of experiencing the fight or flight response. Their body is forcing them to be irrational in the moment, and it just makes things worse. Recognize when this is happening to you, recognize the ways that it's common to trigger other people into this sort of thing (e.g. being excessively negative, mean, and confrontational rather than professional and kind) and adjust your communication style accordingly. Also, avoid making the mistake of continuing a heated argument while you are under the influence of fight or flight. Take a break, take a walk, come back to the subject later when you have the opportunity to be rational. Justified anger can actually have a positive effect if used well, but irrational, seething, mindless, feral anger will just spread irrationality and is generally unproductive or actively harmful. I would highly recommend everyone read a book called "Crucial Conversation" about precisely this subject and how to ensure that you not only communicate well and rationally to others but they feel safe doing so with you.
cryoshon 11y ago
Yeah, you can probably say the exact same thing about internet article comments. It's pretty hard to put the breaks on the internet hate machine specifically because there's no real connection between semi-anonymous internet rage and loss of social status. Facebook is a different case. Emotions tend to reinforce each other the more they're learned and practiced.
amelius 11y ago
At least now we have a url to send back in reply to such emails ;)
dgreensp 11y ago
Typical of newspaper columns about emotions, this article muddles along with a few anecdotes, a sprinkling of social science, and some facile conclusions. A book selected at random from the "self-help" section of your bookstore will give you much better advice. We've all regretted sending angry emails before, which is what makes the article resonate, but it also makes it useless. Sending an email that you immediately come to realize was inappropriate is a powerful teacher, and there's no need for a panel to weigh in on that particular situation. When we subtract out this noninformative core, we're left with a corona of FUD about venting and acting out of anger, formed out of a pastiche of quotes from scientists informally summarizing their research papers. Don't fear anger. Like all emotions, it's not under your direct control. What you should do is name it (say you're feeling angry, at least to yourself), accept that it is ok you are feeling that way, and ask yourself what in particular makes you so angry. Most people are pretty bad at one or more of these steps, and venting is a way to recruit someone else to help. One person claims he is not angry, but goes on and on about a particular point in an angry tone. Another person knows she is angry, and immediately disparages herself for it. Yet another person has a persistent anger around their boss, but they do not know why and cannot seem to shake it, while the boss is indeed behaving badly in some way that would make anyone miserable. These people do not need any sort of admonitions against putting voice to their feelings.
markbnj 11y ago
I'd go even further and say that, especially in management scenarios, just don't try to resolve interpersonal conflicts or disagreements over email. It fails far too often.

75 points by rubikscube 11y ago

I wholeheartedly agree. I've learned this lesson the hard way, several times over. Catharsis is frequently not a healthy way to deal with anger. In many cases, anger is just a temporary storm in your brain that you need to let pass. It's not sealing the spout of some Freudian kettle that will result in a future explosion (though sometimes long-held grudges can be just that). It is never a good idea to make any sort of decision while under the influence of emotion. The advice I give myself: "Sleep on it. If you still want to do it tomorrow morning, knock yourself out."

tomjen3 11y ago

The main thesis is probably not true, but the advice about writing the email and not sending it is straight out of how to win friends and influence people.

acabal 11y ago

This is so true--I learned this long ago back when Scribophile was new. Members would sometimes get in to fights with each other, then email me in anger about how such-and-such person is terrible and how I was terrible for allowing terrible things to happen on the site. When I was new to everything I would email back, pointing out the error of their ways--often sharply, because I had been put in a bad mood. This never, ever worked. Not once. It only made things worse. I soon learned that often the best response is none at all. Sometimes a person needs to vent, and by whatever chance you end up being the punching bag. There's a 90% chance that if you don't hit 'reply' to that angry email with an angry email of your own, that the person will forget things in the morning and go about business as usual. Next time you feel the overwhelming urge to write an angry email, or to put someone in their place, make yourself wait till tomorrow to do it. You'll find that most of the time the urge will have passed, life will go on just fine, and you won't have made an enemy in the end.

hliyan 11y ago
I was on Scribophile too. But I guess I came in after this era. Things were very civil except for the occasional misfit.

molecule 11y ago

Venting is positive reinforcement of expression of anger. Renowned Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh calls this 'Training in Aggression': > People who use venting techniques like hitting a pillow or shouting are actually rehearsing anger. When someone is angry and vents their anger by hitting a pillow, they are learning a dangerous habit. They are training in aggression. Instead, our approach is to generate the energy of mindfulness and embrace anger every time it manifests. - http://www.lionsroar.com/loosening-the-knots-of-anger/ http://www.lionsroar.com/loosening-the-knots-of-anger/

noondip 11y ago
What absolute nonsense. Beating a pillow -- you are not hurting anybody and there is nothing wrong in it. The important distinction is to be aware of and to express your anger, obviously not at others, but at the pillow (or exercise, etc). Such a catharsis will make you feel unburdened and relaxed, more so than from control and condemnation.
- enjo 11y ago
  I don't think that is good advice. There is a lot of interesting science that suggests exactly the opposite. Being angry succeeds in only one thing: making you angrier. Here is a good overview: https://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/jbickfor/bushman2002.pdf https://www.mtholyoke.edu/courses/jbickfor/bushman2002.pdf
  - cthalupa 11y ago
    Speaking purely from my own anecdotal personal experience: Dwelling on something and thinking about how angry it makes me certainly does make me angrier. However, in the handful of times of my life that I've gotten really, truly, into a rage over something monumental, I had no way to actually let go of it until I had a chance to go scream into a pillow and punched my mattress a few times. The relief was pretty immediate - almost all of the anger drained away. Prior to that I was too amped up to do anything constructive about the issue. After, I was able to focus enough to get to work on fixing it. I don't know how to reconcile my own personal experiences with that research, outside of a cop-out answer of "Not everyone is the same".

kordless 11y ago

The energy for anger comes from outside. Anger itself is an internal emotion that helps you 'get shit done', but it has to run on that energy to function. When I feel myself getting angry, I try focusing on being present and find an outlet for the energy. Games are a good way to vent. :)

meric 11y ago
Agreed - it's fuel to push things forward. My house gets a lot cleaner when I'm angry.

Qantourisc 11y ago

What about things that are worth being angry about ?

praptak 11y ago
They probably aren't. They are worth dealing with and anger is probably a hindrance here rather than being helpful.
mikekchar 11y ago
I once had a friend with which I fought almost all the time. We were miserable, the two of us. Eventually, he just dropped me (didn't return my calls, answer my emails, etc). I was very angry, but decided not to do anything about it. Over time, I came to respect his decision and even be grateful for it. I have no idea how he is doing. I tried to send him an email, but he didn't respond ;-) I'm very much happier without him in my life. I owe him a debt I can never repay. I hope he is similarly happy without me in his life. If there is something that your friends are doing that causes you a problem, you can discuss that very reasonably without being angry. If it's something that really, truly deserves your anger, then it is probably best not to discuss it at all. There is no need to make everyone even worse off than they were before. Letting go of the situation that caused the anger is the first step in healing yourself. Don't bind yourself to it. Sometimes this means losing a friend, but in this case, wouldn't that be a potentially good solution?

lwhalen 11y ago

I don't even have to read the article to know I agree. Every time I've actually hit 'send' on an angry email, or 'post' in a thread, I get a temporary burst of self-righteousness, and... crushing regret the next morning. Every time. You'd think id've learned by now...

kristopolous 11y ago

reminds me of my languished (v1) project that is the bullet-proof shoe for people who shoot themselves in the foot: http://frustrometer.com/ http://frustrometer.com/ I just couldn't get a data model with results I was happy with. I should probably revisit it and tough it out.

cattict 11y ago

I thought HN blocked paywall scam submissions?

z3t4 11y ago

Just reading this thread made me angry, as I remembered every time I've been angry.

labster 11y ago

I agree with the title of the article, but disagree with its thesis. Anger is an emotional sign from your brain that something is wrong. And actually sitting down to write the angry email makes me actually think everything through. Without identifying the source of my anger, the rage just builds. But then, for the love of Linus, don't actually click send. This is like committing untested, breaking social code straight to production. It might work out for the best, but only if you're lucky. Like all writing, it needs to be refactored and edited; it needs to achieve a purpose other than making you feel temporarily justified. So wait an hour if you're a little angry. Wait six hours if you're a lot angry. (I wish Gmail could detect angry emails and replace "send" with a hamburger button, then I'd definitely have to calm down to figure out how to send it.) But anger is not useless. I've launched websites because of a long, slow-burning ire at other sites, and it fueled my work for years. It's possible to channel rage into creative work. So, if your brain works that way, use it to show your own correctness and creativity, not another's problems.

ak39 11y ago
But then, for the love of Linus, don't actually click send. Quotable classic! LOL. True, anger can be a fuel to get things done. But it's not a good fuel to use for long term sustainability. Blood pressure and stress are killers, my friend. There's got to be another way. I have battled with an angry temperament my whole life. Stocked up on all kinds of CBT material. I'm 42 and as the mist and fog of testosterone is clearing with age, I can now see myself with a bit more sharper focus. It's hilarious. Sometimes I am baffled that I blew so much steam over something trivial! :-( Then the shame of getting angry follows shortly thereafter. Which then makes me angry with myself about the whole affair. Somewhat. I've also noticed something interesting over the years ... that a lot of folks with what we call "shorter fuses" are often used for mild entertainment by others who deliberately provoke "short fusers". The sooner the "angros" realise that they are entertainment for others, the quicker they will recover from being reactionary personalities. Let the psychopaths find other forms of entertainment. I grew up as an exercise-induced asthmatic kid, often sidelined in sports and games. I don't know whether this has shaped my mildly resentful, impatient and contrarian personality. (I am not ready to call myself cynical yet!) :-) It has taken me decades of personal rehabilitation in the company of a loving, caring, understanding and forgiving wife. God bless the Beauty whose job it is to tame the Beast! (I'm going to hug her right away!)

gadders 11y ago

For those that haven't read How to Win Friends and Influence People, Lincoln used to write long letters telling his generals how incompetent they are, but never sent them. It was his way of getting it out of his system. Some people recommend doing this with emails as well - type but don't send. If you do do this though, make sure you don't send the angry version of your email by mistake: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2951973/Is-rudest-rejection-letter-Jobseeker-shocked-sent-email-calling-old-aesthetically-challenged-professional-pr-no-teeth.html http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2951973/Is-rudest-re...

linuxlizard 11y ago
Writing longhand helps me blow off steam. I'll write long, scathing diatribes full of bad grammar, misspelled words, and rude doodles. Then when I'm feeling calmer, I'll drop them in the shred bin.
shanecleveland 11y ago
I've written many letters I've never sent. I prefer communicating in writing, anyway. And they are not all venting or letters of frustration. Some are just my way of formulating an idea, opinion or position on a subject. In addition to "getting it out," it helps me to better organize my thoughts, rather than just having them swirling in my head. I can then have some confidence that I have fully extrapolated my thoughts and provided justified for myself the way I feel.
canthonytucci 11y ago
I find it best to make sure not to fill out the "to" field in emails which I know are going to be "controversial". An errant tab+enter in gmail can really make the day a lot more complex. Edit: Once it's been toned down, if it still needs to be sent (usually it doesn't), adding the recipient is the last step, and final filter that a nasty message should pass. Reading a fuming email to a spouse or friend before sending is also a good way to keep them in the drafts folder and out of other people's inboxes.
dllthomas 11y ago
"Never sent, never signed" I always liked that.

InclinedPlane 11y ago

What's missing here is the most important factor of all, which isn't even directly tied to anger: the fight or flight response. Humans have a biological reaction to certain kinds of stress which triggers this response and the impact on the ability to interact well with other humans is disastrous. We need to understand this, learn how to spot it, and learn how to deal with it. When a person is in this state they are literally less intelligent and less rational than normal, by an enormous margin. This is by design, because the response is geared toward enabling you to survive a life or death threat. It gives you an edge by preparing you for the worst case scenario and encouraging you to give everything you've got. When you're sprinting away or wrestling with a leopard or some such these things matter. You can't afford to doubt what you're doing or to have second thoughts even for a moment. You are much better off fighting like a feral animal or running like a scared rabbit than intentionally deliberating what to do next, and that affects your survival chances a lot. But we don't live in those circumstances any more, yet getting in a heated argument at work, online, or with a significant other still triggers those same responses. But now they are harmful almost all of the time. This is precisely why there is so little rationality in a heated argument, because both sides "have their blood up", which means they are in the midst of experiencing the fight or flight response. Their body is forcing them to be irrational in the moment, and it just makes things worse. Recognize when this is happening to you, recognize the ways that it's common to trigger other people into this sort of thing (e.g. being excessively negative, mean, and confrontational rather than professional and kind) and adjust your communication style accordingly. Also, avoid making the mistake of continuing a heated argument while you are under the influence of fight or flight. Take a break, take a walk, come back to the subject later when you have the opportunity to be rational. Justified anger can actually have a positive effect if used well, but irrational, seething, mindless, feral anger will just spread irrationality and is generally unproductive or actively harmful. I would highly recommend everyone read a book called "Crucial Conversation" about precisely this subject and how to ensure that you not only communicate well and rationally to others but they feel safe doing so with you.

cryoshon 11y ago

Yeah, you can probably say the exact same thing about internet article comments. It's pretty hard to put the breaks on the internet hate machine specifically because there's no real connection between semi-anonymous internet rage and loss of social status. Facebook is a different case. Emotions tend to reinforce each other the more they're learned and practiced.

amelius 11y ago

At least now we have a url to send back in reply to such emails ;)

dgreensp 11y ago

Typical of newspaper columns about emotions, this article muddles along with a few anecdotes, a sprinkling of social science, and some facile conclusions. A book selected at random from the "self-help" section of your bookstore will give you much better advice. We've all regretted sending angry emails before, which is what makes the article resonate, but it also makes it useless. Sending an email that you immediately come to realize was inappropriate is a powerful teacher, and there's no need for a panel to weigh in on that particular situation. When we subtract out this noninformative core, we're left with a corona of FUD about venting and acting out of anger, formed out of a pastiche of quotes from scientists informally summarizing their research papers. Don't fear anger. Like all emotions, it's not under your direct control. What you should do is name it (say you're feeling angry, at least to yourself), accept that it is ok you are feeling that way, and ask yourself what in particular makes you so angry. Most people are pretty bad at one or more of these steps, and venting is a way to recruit someone else to help. One person claims he is not angry, but goes on and on about a particular point in an angry tone. Another person knows she is angry, and immediately disparages herself for it. Yet another person has a persistent anger around their boss, but they do not know why and cannot seem to shake it, while the boss is indeed behaving badly in some way that would make anyone miserable. These people do not need any sort of admonitions against putting voice to their feelings.

markbnj 11y ago

I'd go even further and say that, especially in management scenarios, just don't try to resolve interpersonal conflicts or disagreements over email. It fails far too often.