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I generally try to abstain from criticizing articles too much, but this one bothers me a little bit — mainly because it is one among many of the numerous articl

I generally try to abstain from criticizing articles too much, but this one bothers me a little bit — mainly because it is one among many of the numerous articles and blog posts popping up nowadays that advocate for the same general behavior: "focus on yourself". I felt uncomfortable after I finished reading this and looked up some of the author's other work. See the reviews of her most recent book here: http://www.amazon.com/Slow-Love-Pajamas-Found-Happiness-ebook/product-reviews/B0052RGBW2 http://www.amazon.com/Slow-Love-Pajamas-Found-Happiness-eboo... In addition to having nominating her own work for national awards, there's an odd discrepancy between the generally positive distribution of ratings and the sheer number of upvotes on the lowest rated reviews as sorted by "Most Helpful". I feel that articles that encourage people to have higher self-esteem and more self-confidence are, generally speaking, a good thing; however, the problem starts occurring when the focus is entirely on yourself. I feel like this theme of "be good to yourself; you deserve it", "sorry not sorry", and "you don't need anyone else to make you happy" falls only on the ears of those who are already far too absorbed in themselves. It's peculiar because (at least in my experience), I've found that the people who actually need to read articles like this are those who already give too much of themselves to other people, yet secretly wonder if they are too selfish. Whereas those who are too selfish read these articles and think, "Hey that's me! I need to quit letting other people walk all over me. I need to care about myself more", when in reality they need to move in the other direction and care less about themselves.

dizzystar 11y ago
I didn't read it like this at all. I read it as: the older you get the more you realize that the things that were important to you when you were younger weren't that important after all. The older I get, the more I realize how silly many things are. There are ideals I'd tell you I would die for at 20. At 35, I don't even remember what those ideals are. It is so much easier to forgive and let things go later in life. That's my take on the article anyways.
- matwood 11y ago
  > The older I get, the more I realize how silly many things are. This is the #1 thing I would go back and tell my teenage self if possible. Without my other experiences, I'm not sure my teenage self would listen though.
- larrys 11y ago
  "you realize that the things that were important to you when you were younger weren't that important after all." On the other hand nothing wrong with having aspirations and if people didn't have aspirations many things in society would never be accomplished. Aspirations drive people. I think there is a saying something like "the difference between men and boys is the size of their toys". And in fact many of those "toys" don't matter once you get older simply because you are in a different place in life with different needs and outlook. Can't imprint that thought pattern when younger and quite frankly why would you? What fun would that be? I remember when I was in my 20's I was able to afford a really nice car one that I had always wanted in my teens. About a week after getting the car I was very aware of the fact that I wasn't any happier than I had been prior to getting the car (and actually thought I would be) and maybe even a little less so (anticipation effect if you want to call it that). I was still glad that I got the car though and have always had nice cars since and never regretted it. But part of my motivation has changed. Back then it was to get a girl by having a nice car and to impress people (used to be like that, the "get a girl" part many older folks will tell you). Now I like it just because its a nice thing to have. And in some cases having nice things helps with business as well in the bricks and mortar world at least.. I can tie a few deals to the fact that I drove a nice car. Plus getting random comments from strangers does provide a boost. As you get old you do become more mellow because you can be more mellow. Because in many cases you have either "arrived" or your needs have changed. The kids college is already taken care of and all of that, have a vacation place, nice house and so on. But don't think for a second that it would be possible to "not care" "now" if the effort hadn't been put in earlier to insure at least some financial security. And I am not talking about living richly either. But having enough that you don't have to be concerned with money is a nice thing don't let anyone tell you differently.
  - logingone 11y ago
    "the only difference between men and boys is the size/price of their toys" -- ie men don't grow up. Edit: I guess that should be boys don't grow up.

dizzystar 11y ago

I didn't read it like this at all. I read it as: the older you get the more you realize that the things that were important to you when you were younger weren't that important after all. The older I get, the more I realize how silly many things are. There are ideals I'd tell you I would die for at 20. At 35, I don't even remember what those ideals are. It is so much easier to forgive and let things go later in life. That's my take on the article anyways.

matwood 11y ago
> The older I get, the more I realize how silly many things are. This is the #1 thing I would go back and tell my teenage self if possible. Without my other experiences, I'm not sure my teenage self would listen though.
larrys 11y ago
"you realize that the things that were important to you when you were younger weren't that important after all." On the other hand nothing wrong with having aspirations and if people didn't have aspirations many things in society would never be accomplished. Aspirations drive people. I think there is a saying something like "the difference between men and boys is the size of their toys". And in fact many of those "toys" don't matter once you get older simply because you are in a different place in life with different needs and outlook. Can't imprint that thought pattern when younger and quite frankly why would you? What fun would that be? I remember when I was in my 20's I was able to afford a really nice car one that I had always wanted in my teens. About a week after getting the car I was very aware of the fact that I wasn't any happier than I had been prior to getting the car (and actually thought I would be) and maybe even a little less so (anticipation effect if you want to call it that). I was still glad that I got the car though and have always had nice cars since and never regretted it. But part of my motivation has changed. Back then it was to get a girl by having a nice car and to impress people (used to be like that, the "get a girl" part many older folks will tell you). Now I like it just because its a nice thing to have. And in some cases having nice things helps with business as well in the bricks and mortar world at least.. I can tie a few deals to the fact that I drove a nice car. Plus getting random comments from strangers does provide a boost. As you get old you do become more mellow because you can be more mellow. Because in many cases you have either "arrived" or your needs have changed. The kids college is already taken care of and all of that, have a vacation place, nice house and so on. But don't think for a second that it would be possible to "not care" "now" if the effort hadn't been put in earlier to insure at least some financial security. And I am not talking about living richly either. But having enough that you don't have to be concerned with money is a nice thing don't let anyone tell you differently.
- logingone 11y ago
  "the only difference between men and boys is the size/price of their toys" -- ie men don't grow up. Edit: I guess that should be boys don't grow up.