3 ms·

> Dude, just get out and actually talk to women. That's a lot easier said than done. The parallel with employment is actually not bad: one doesn't find a job

by wtbob 11y ago

> Dude, just get out and actually talk to women. That's a lot easier said than done. The parallel with employment is actually not bad: one doesn't find a job by approaching random offices asking for work any more than one finds a wife by asking random if they would like to get hitched (yes, some small number of people succeed with both approaches); one often finds a job by being introduced to the right opportunity by people who know of those opportunities. Now, those introducers might be recruiters (matchmakers) or people one has worked with before (friends), but at the end of the day it's all about networking.

EC1 11y ago
>That's a lot easier said than done. Derive your self worth from yourself and you'll never feel awkward. Everyones interesting in some way. Just get out there and talk, if she doesn't like you or is rude, who gives a shit? Move on to the next.
potatolicious 11y ago
> "one doesn't find a job by approaching random offices asking for work" Actually one does, this is in fact one of the best (though not the easiest) ways to get jobs. In my very first semester in college my whole class had to find internships (Waterloo representin'), and being effectively high school graduates with no real experience, it was pretty tough going. The "smart" advice was to go to as many job fairs as possible, look at as many job boards as possible, apply to as many jobs as possible, and hope for the best. A good friend of mine, who was a good deal older than the rest of us snotty 18 year-olds - who had a rougher life than most and was later to the college game - decided to drive down the highway with a stack of resumes and stop at every company along the way. He'd insist on talking to someone sufficiently senior (aka not the assistant) before leaving his resume with them. Took about a week for him to get a job - while the rest of us were still waiting by the phone for a call-back. The job was unadvertised at any job board or job fair, and they in fact weren't planning to hire an intern at all. It's not conventional, but it does work. Most job opportunities are unadvertised, and indeed many job opportunities don't exist until you ask for them. A lot of companies have problems they'd like solved but haven't formalized it into an open position. To be clear - soft skills are incredibly important for everyone, and by all means you should be networking your butt off, but randomly approaching offices asking for work does work, really well.
duiker101 11y ago
But that's still how you are most likely to get women(or jobs) and how it's been done since forever.
- DaveWalk 11y ago
  Well said. Why are we so apt to forget how things worked in the past?
gexla 11y ago
Two points on this. "Cold calling" is a great method for making sales. Cold calling and talking to women is hard, but doing hard things is a great first step for breaking out of a shell and getting ahead. The more you practice defeating your resistance to change, the more you build your confidence that you can do it. It may or may not become easier, but at least you can become familiar with and even embrace the pain. Feel the burn! Taking it easy may have been what got him into this mess in the first place.
mratzloff 11y ago
> one doesn't find a job by approaching random offices asking for work Maybe not "random" offices, but otherwise that's exactly how I found my first programming job out of college. No one does this, and you'll get a lot of rejections, but it can work to get a quick in-person chat with a hiring manager about your skill set. Doing some research on the companies beforehand is useful, of course.
azurelogic 11y ago
There are varying degrees of this though. Singles have things like speed dating and singles only volleyball leagues. We have meetups and conferences. I have found all of my jobs through networking. My first 2 were directly from meetups. The 3rd came from a former classmate. My current role came from a coworker from my 2nd job. Most of my other interviews have come from meetups too. It is a lot easier to do this when you know there's some common ground.

by wtbob 11y ago

EC1 11y ago

>That's a lot easier said than done. Derive your self worth from yourself and you'll never feel awkward. Everyones interesting in some way. Just get out there and talk, if she doesn't like you or is rude, who gives a shit? Move on to the next.

potatolicious 11y ago

> "one doesn't find a job by approaching random offices asking for work" Actually one does, this is in fact one of the best (though not the easiest) ways to get jobs. In my very first semester in college my whole class had to find internships (Waterloo representin'), and being effectively high school graduates with no real experience, it was pretty tough going. The "smart" advice was to go to as many job fairs as possible, look at as many job boards as possible, apply to as many jobs as possible, and hope for the best. A good friend of mine, who was a good deal older than the rest of us snotty 18 year-olds - who had a rougher life than most and was later to the college game - decided to drive down the highway with a stack of resumes and stop at every company along the way. He'd insist on talking to someone sufficiently senior (aka not the assistant) before leaving his resume with them. Took about a week for him to get a job - while the rest of us were still waiting by the phone for a call-back. The job was unadvertised at any job board or job fair, and they in fact weren't planning to hire an intern at all. It's not conventional, but it does work. Most job opportunities are unadvertised, and indeed many job opportunities don't exist until you ask for them. A lot of companies have problems they'd like solved but haven't formalized it into an open position. To be clear - soft skills are incredibly important for everyone, and by all means you should be networking your butt off, but randomly approaching offices asking for work does work, really well.

duiker101 11y ago

But that's still how you are most likely to get women(or jobs) and how it's been done since forever.

DaveWalk 11y ago
Well said. Why are we so apt to forget how things worked in the past?

gexla 11y ago

Two points on this. "Cold calling" is a great method for making sales. Cold calling and talking to women is hard, but doing hard things is a great first step for breaking out of a shell and getting ahead. The more you practice defeating your resistance to change, the more you build your confidence that you can do it. It may or may not become easier, but at least you can become familiar with and even embrace the pain. Feel the burn! Taking it easy may have been what got him into this mess in the first place.

mratzloff 11y ago

> one doesn't find a job by approaching random offices asking for work Maybe not "random" offices, but otherwise that's exactly how I found my first programming job out of college. No one does this, and you'll get a lot of rejections, but it can work to get a quick in-person chat with a hiring manager about your skill set. Doing some research on the companies beforehand is useful, of course.

azurelogic 11y ago

There are varying degrees of this though. Singles have things like speed dating and singles only volleyball leagues. We have meetups and conferences. I have found all of my jobs through networking. My first 2 were directly from meetups. The 3rd came from a former classmate. My current role came from a coworker from my 2nd job. Most of my other interviews have come from meetups too. It is a lot easier to do this when you know there's some common ground.