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Have you ever been obsessed with a hobby, past the point that it is really fun? Spent all night debugging a program? Kids are like that. How we find meaning and

by plonh 11y ago

Have you ever been obsessed with a hobby, past the point that it is really fun? Spent all night debugging a program? Kids are like that. How we find meaning and what we find fun aren't always the same.

zzalpha 11y ago
I think you miss my point. Taking no position on the topic, what I find fascinating is how the author seems to inadvertently be displaying the very behaviour the article is describing, even though with all their research you'd expect they'd be best equipped not to. There's something very... Meta... About that, I think.
- mcphage 11y ago
  > what I find fascinating is how the author seems to inadvertently be displaying the very behaviour the article is describing, even though with all their research you'd expect they'd be best equipped not to. The article is about how parenting is stressful but (ultimately) rewarding, and you're surprised that the author of it finds parenting stressful but (ultimately) rewarding? Did you expect she'd find it not stressful, or that she'd find it not rewarding?
  - zzalpha 11y ago
    No that's the point. The article is almost entirely about the fact that parenting is terribly stressfulamd parents are actually far less happy than they seem to be able to admit to themselves. The only bit that attempts to redeem parenting is right near the end, in a way that always to me felt like rationalization, in the way a parent might rationalize their choice just as previously described in the article. This meta nature to me, given it was written by a parent, seems to highlight that very conflict: its a written embodiment of the mental contradiction parents experience.
    - mcphage 11y ago
      I guess I don't see the contradiction you see. Parenting is stressful, and definitely can cause unhappiness. But it is rewarding. That's not a contradiction; they're separate axes. (The author discusses this when making the square of rewarding-vs-enjoyable). I guess you can claim that the feeling that it's rewarding is a false rationalization, but... I'm not really sure how you'd argue that. "You only think it's rewarding, but it's not!". I'm not sure how you could demonstrate something like that.

by plonh 11y ago

zzalpha 11y ago

I think you miss my point. Taking no position on the topic, what I find fascinating is how the author seems to inadvertently be displaying the very behaviour the article is describing, even though with all their research you'd expect they'd be best equipped not to. There's something very... Meta... About that, I think.

mcphage 11y ago
> what I find fascinating is how the author seems to inadvertently be displaying the very behaviour the article is describing, even though with all their research you'd expect they'd be best equipped not to. The article is about how parenting is stressful but (ultimately) rewarding, and you're surprised that the author of it finds parenting stressful but (ultimately) rewarding? Did you expect she'd find it not stressful, or that she'd find it not rewarding?
- zzalpha 11y ago
  No that's the point. The article is almost entirely about the fact that parenting is terribly stressfulamd parents are actually far less happy than they seem to be able to admit to themselves. The only bit that attempts to redeem parenting is right near the end, in a way that always to me felt like rationalization, in the way a parent might rationalize their choice just as previously described in the article. This meta nature to me, given it was written by a parent, seems to highlight that very conflict: its a written embodiment of the mental contradiction parents experience.
  - mcphage 11y ago
    I guess I don't see the contradiction you see. Parenting is stressful, and definitely can cause unhappiness. But it is rewarding. That's not a contradiction; they're separate axes. (The author discusses this when making the square of rewarding-vs-enjoyable). I guess you can claim that the feeling that it's rewarding is a false rationalization, but... I'm not really sure how you'd argue that. "You only think it's rewarding, but it's not!". I'm not sure how you could demonstrate something like that.