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That's not exactly true. It's completely proper to say "Fine, thanks", "Great, fantastic", "meh, not bad", "uggh having the worst day" or anything in between t

That's not exactly true. It's completely proper to say "Fine, thanks", "Great, fantastic", "meh, not bad", "uggh having the worst day" or anything in between to "How Are you" in the US or Canada. Sure, you wouldn't say that to a perfect stranger but if a friend or family member leads with "how are you", there is nothing weird about giving an actual response.

JustSomeNobody 11y ago
I would like to expand this a bit. Acceptable responses to "How are you?": "Fine, thanks." - Tells the asker that you may not be up for conversation. "Doing well, and you?" - Tells the asker you may be up for some conversation. "Well, you see, last week..." - Tells the asker you've had little social opportunities in a long while and he's staying around for a bit.
bshimmin 11y ago
Isn't this the key point, though? The answer to that question depends entirely on the context of your relationship with the person asking it. If a client calls me up and asks how my day is going, the socially acceptable answer is "It's going great, thanks!" with the addition of some remark about the weather, that one is looking forward to the weekend (if it's a Thursday or Friday), etc. My client doesn't really care about my day, they're just asking because it's a social nicety. (They probably do care to the extent that if I break down and start sobbing, or there's just a choked gurgling sound at the other end of the phone, then they may well not get their money's worth that day...) On the other hand, if my wife asks me how my day has been, I can reply honestly and candidly - though, again, if she's busy or she's had a bad day herself or she's asking this question whilst spooning food into my son's mouth, maybe I will temper my response accordingly. An understanding of these sorts of social niceties based around context is something that the socially-aware take for granted and, clearly, the author of this article and people like him find very difficult.
- deanCommie 11y ago
  It's not easy but it's not cultural. I was responding to the commenter who claimed that other countries other than the US expect or allow for a real response to the question. And I think that's simply false. A stranger in the middle of the street in Berlin is just as uninterested in your day than one in Boston. And a friend is just as interested.

JustSomeNobody 11y ago

I would like to expand this a bit. Acceptable responses to "How are you?": "Fine, thanks." - Tells the asker that you may not be up for conversation. "Doing well, and you?" - Tells the asker you may be up for some conversation. "Well, you see, last week..." - Tells the asker you've had little social opportunities in a long while and he's staying around for a bit.

bshimmin 11y ago

Isn't this the key point, though? The answer to that question depends entirely on the context of your relationship with the person asking it. If a client calls me up and asks how my day is going, the socially acceptable answer is "It's going great, thanks!" with the addition of some remark about the weather, that one is looking forward to the weekend (if it's a Thursday or Friday), etc. My client doesn't really care about my day, they're just asking because it's a social nicety. (They probably do care to the extent that if I break down and start sobbing, or there's just a choked gurgling sound at the other end of the phone, then they may well not get their money's worth that day...) On the other hand, if my wife asks me how my day has been, I can reply honestly and candidly - though, again, if she's busy or she's had a bad day herself or she's asking this question whilst spooning food into my son's mouth, maybe I will temper my response accordingly. An understanding of these sorts of social niceties based around context is something that the socially-aware take for granted and, clearly, the author of this article and people like him find very difficult.

deanCommie 11y ago
It's not easy but it's not cultural. I was responding to the commenter who claimed that other countries other than the US expect or allow for a real response to the question. And I think that's simply false. A stranger in the middle of the street in Berlin is just as uninterested in your day than one in Boston. And a friend is just as interested.