I suspect you are being facetious, but I've for a long time thought that this was actually an okay idea, even for systems less screwed up than PHP. When I need

I suspect you are being facetious, but I've for a long time thought that this was actually an okay idea, even for systems less screwed up than PHP. When I need to write a function with lots of complex interactions, I mash the keyboard rather than try to come up with a name that's misleadingly simple. That way you have to read the documentation.