3 ms·

What a bunch of hooey. Just 'deciding to be happy' is nonsense for someone with major depressive disorder (the medically accepted name of the disorder, as oppos

What a bunch of hooey. Just 'deciding to be happy' is nonsense for someone with major depressive disorder (the medically accepted name of the disorder, as opposed to the term 'clinical depression', which people without experience tend to use...) I'm glad things worked out for you but this is not helpful advice for someone who is actually depressed. It's like telling someone who's short to just decide to be taller.

eonw 11y ago
the mind is the most powerful thing known to man. even with a disorder strong minded people have worked their way through and came back to being productive and happy members of society. alcoholism is considered a disease but people get through it with will power alone.
zamalek 11y ago
I guess you're right. I'll just remove that one paragraph. If you are at a doctor you are more than welcome to weigh in on the 2 opinions I had at 10 after being bullied for 3 years. I might not be able to remember all the terminology, but I do remember not being able to get out of it. I do remember not being able to have more than 1 friend up until I was 20. I do remember drinking myself into a pit at 22 (2 six packs a night, alone for a year, sound healthy?). I do remember digging myself out of it, alone, without help. Because for some reason I can't explain I started believing that I could. I am now happy. The only thing I have left is excruciating existential anxiety, can I beat that too? Fuck yeah. Bunch of hooey, though. I can tell you one thing: OP isn't going to win by believing it's impossible because even the best meds only provide symptomatic relief. They don't fix the underlying problem. It's like giving a short person a mirror that makes them look taller. Meds can help you win, meds are good. I would never recommend someone to avoid them. All irrelevant: OP indicated depression is not an illness in his country. He/she supposedly can't see a doctor. No meds. All that's left is will power. Knowing someone else did it makes all the difference. Finally, as an expert on the matter, where is your advice? Or are you here tear OP down? I know OP can do it, all you know is what a major depressive disorder is.
- Tossrock 11y ago
  I'm certainly not an expert (although I too have been diagnosed twice), and I'm not here to denigrate your experience. Like I said, I'm glad you made it through it, by whatever means. I'm just saying, your advice is usually considered unhelpful by people with depression (just decide to be happy!) I think other people in the thread have good advice on practical steps to take - big ones being meditation/mindfulness training, changing circumstances/surroundings, and diet/exercise. All of these things can do much more to alter brain chemistry and enact a positive feedback cycle than just "deciding" something.
- TeMPOraL 11y ago
  I don't think you really should have removed that paragraph :). Yes, it jumped on me too, but after thinking about it for a second, I actually appreciated it. I've never been able to think myself out of something like you did, but I found it reassuring. I actually envy you that skill; myself I was also drinking myself every night for almost a year; at some point I run out of money for cheap beers, stopped drinking, realized that I like being sober and never returned to the habit. So in my case this seems more like random walk around the potential gradient, with hope that at some point I'll accidentally escape the local minimum. If you have any tips about "excruciating existential anxiety" (of which I've been suffering for half the decade already, recently successfully moderated by SSRIs) I'd be more than glad to hear them. Right now the only coping strategy I have is to ignore it, but it interferes with my ability to concentrate and plan for the future - I'm literally unable to plan for more than a week-two in advance without getting serious emotional pains.
  - thaumaturgy 11y ago
    FWIW, when I was very young (and surrounded by adults with various behavioral issues) I concluded that if my brain could influence my thoughts, then my thoughts could influence my brain. i.e., if I worked through something mentally, I could improve my mood or deal with adversity or grief or melancholy or the occasional bout of really bad depression. That's worked out well for me as a sort of first line of defense, but it has side effects too. I've been seeing a therapist for most of a year now to try to unwind some of it, because unfortunately the same mechanisms that repress something like anxiety also repress love or joy. And I'd never recommend it to anyone else. For one thing, I haven't even been able to decide for myself if it's just a bunch of self-delusion or not; I'd have no idea how to go about suggesting someone else try it.
sharmi 11y ago
Atleast some of them have that skill. I remember a friend at school, who used to be very depressed because one of her parents passed away. This was early in her childhood, but the effect was still there in college. She often had mood swings and except those who were very close to her, no one understood her. Then she was reading a few self-help books. I dunno if it was the books, or something within her but by the fourth year, she was out of her depression without any outside help and had a lot of friends and enjoyed life in general. She also volunteered for a few responsibilities in college. But do note that this was very gradual and happened over a two years. I can only imagine the kind of journey she would have had.

eonw 11y ago

the mind is the most powerful thing known to man. even with a disorder strong minded people have worked their way through and came back to being productive and happy members of society. alcoholism is considered a disease but people get through it with will power alone.

zamalek 11y ago

I guess you're right. I'll just remove that one paragraph. If you are at a doctor you are more than welcome to weigh in on the 2 opinions I had at 10 after being bullied for 3 years. I might not be able to remember all the terminology, but I do remember not being able to get out of it. I do remember not being able to have more than 1 friend up until I was 20. I do remember drinking myself into a pit at 22 (2 six packs a night, alone for a year, sound healthy?). I do remember digging myself out of it, alone, without help. Because for some reason I can't explain I started believing that I could. I am now happy. The only thing I have left is excruciating existential anxiety, can I beat that too? Fuck yeah. Bunch of hooey, though. I can tell you one thing: OP isn't going to win by believing it's impossible because even the best meds only provide symptomatic relief. They don't fix the underlying problem. It's like giving a short person a mirror that makes them look taller. Meds can help you win, meds are good. I would never recommend someone to avoid them. All irrelevant: OP indicated depression is not an illness in his country. He/she supposedly can't see a doctor. No meds. All that's left is will power. Knowing someone else did it makes all the difference. Finally, as an expert on the matter, where is your advice? Or are you here tear OP down? I know OP can do it, all you know is what a major depressive disorder is.

Tossrock 11y ago
I'm certainly not an expert (although I too have been diagnosed twice), and I'm not here to denigrate your experience. Like I said, I'm glad you made it through it, by whatever means. I'm just saying, your advice is usually considered unhelpful by people with depression (just decide to be happy!) I think other people in the thread have good advice on practical steps to take - big ones being meditation/mindfulness training, changing circumstances/surroundings, and diet/exercise. All of these things can do much more to alter brain chemistry and enact a positive feedback cycle than just "deciding" something.
TeMPOraL 11y ago
I don't think you really should have removed that paragraph :). Yes, it jumped on me too, but after thinking about it for a second, I actually appreciated it. I've never been able to think myself out of something like you did, but I found it reassuring. I actually envy you that skill; myself I was also drinking myself every night for almost a year; at some point I run out of money for cheap beers, stopped drinking, realized that I like being sober and never returned to the habit. So in my case this seems more like random walk around the potential gradient, with hope that at some point I'll accidentally escape the local minimum. If you have any tips about "excruciating existential anxiety" (of which I've been suffering for half the decade already, recently successfully moderated by SSRIs) I'd be more than glad to hear them. Right now the only coping strategy I have is to ignore it, but it interferes with my ability to concentrate and plan for the future - I'm literally unable to plan for more than a week-two in advance without getting serious emotional pains.
- thaumaturgy 11y ago
  FWIW, when I was very young (and surrounded by adults with various behavioral issues) I concluded that if my brain could influence my thoughts, then my thoughts could influence my brain. i.e., if I worked through something mentally, I could improve my mood or deal with adversity or grief or melancholy or the occasional bout of really bad depression. That's worked out well for me as a sort of first line of defense, but it has side effects too. I've been seeing a therapist for most of a year now to try to unwind some of it, because unfortunately the same mechanisms that repress something like anxiety also repress love or joy. And I'd never recommend it to anyone else. For one thing, I haven't even been able to decide for myself if it's just a bunch of self-delusion or not; I'd have no idea how to go about suggesting someone else try it.

sharmi 11y ago

Atleast some of them have that skill. I remember a friend at school, who used to be very depressed because one of her parents passed away. This was early in her childhood, but the effect was still there in college. She often had mood swings and except those who were very close to her, no one understood her. Then she was reading a few self-help books. I dunno if it was the books, or something within her but by the fourth year, she was out of her depression without any outside help and had a lot of friends and enjoyed life in general. She also volunteered for a few responsibilities in college. But do note that this was very gradual and happened over a two years. I can only imagine the kind of journey she would have had.