7 ms·

If you're going to cheat, expect to be caught. If your search for sex involves putting any personal information online, definitely expect to be caught. If you d

If you're going to cheat, expect to be caught. If your search for sex involves putting any personal information online, definitely expect to be caught. If you don't want to be caught, be careful, use pseudonyms, and protect yourself from tracking. Or just ask for a divorce.

noir_lord 11y ago
There is a third option which is don't cheat. I've never done it but my last long term relationship ended with her doing it, things hadn't been good for a while. Ironically a year out I think her cheating made things easier for me (knowing there was zero way back makes a clean break simpler). I'd never cheat on anyone, I'd end things first no matter the circumstances.
- obstacle1 11y ago
  The person you are responding to explicitly said: >If you're going to cheat Given that you are going to cheat, no, "don't cheat" is not an option.
- spacemanmatt 11y ago
  You can say that on an individual basis but it doesn't change the aggregate behavior of our kind.
  - noir_lord 11y ago
    Very true but I still like to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with the person looking back. In a sense that's all you can do.
    - spacemanmatt 11y ago
      I gotta be able to respect the guy in the mirror, too. But there's a bit more I can do.
spacemanmatt 11y ago
Or an open relationship. There are many options people may choose.
- rm_-rf_slash 11y ago
  That I'm fine with as long as it's open and honest. Alternatively, there is the Japanese angle of "It's not cheating if I pay for it."
  - zimpenfish 11y ago
    "Is it adultery if I'm committing it at one end of a guy and he's committing it at the other end of that same guy?" (Dan Savage, Colbert Report)
- crikli 11y ago
  Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters. Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people? Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but ... But it might work for us.
  - spacemanmatt 11y ago
    Heh. Some people aren't up to it.
    - Karunamon 11y ago
      It requires a completely different mindset to relationships, most importantly, two people with that same completely different mindset, it's counter to most culture and how most of us were raised, but it can and does work. Also, I find interesting the survivorship (or perhaps anti-survivorship?) bias in a marital counselor talking about how a certain arrangement doesn't work.. what about all those people who never sought counseling because their relationships are happy?
  - 11y ago
Fogest 11y ago
What about people who are single and using the site? People can easily lie to their significant other and cheat on them, people can also just as easily join the site without actually cheating on anyone. Also what about the people who are in a relationship and they enjoy finding other people to perform sexual acts with? They may be on the site looking for someone else but not necessarily to cheat. There are still innocent people on the site, and do they deserve to have this exposed? Have everyone, parents, bosses, etc... thinking they are a dirty cheater? No, that really isn't fair.
- GFK_of_xmaspast 11y ago
  If you're single, why would you go there instead of a regular dating site.
  - jedberg 11y ago
    Because you're more likely to have sex on the first date, since that's what most of the people on there are looking to do.
  - Fogest 11y ago
    There are many reasons, one of them being like what the other commenter mentioned, the likelihood of sex, but another one may have to do with sexual fantasies as well? Maybe they like the other person believing they are a cheater? You can't assume that the target audience of this site is the ONLY audience simply because they advertise to "cheaters".
curiousjorge 11y ago
Don't meet strangers or cheat on your SO with someone you know or work with, period. Or just break it off and find someone new, why act dishonorably and making others miserable? All in all, I don't know why people cheat if they are happily married and their spouses are great. Seems to me the risks far outweigh the rewards. Then again, I don't understand why people get married in the first place.

noir_lord 11y ago

There is a third option which is don't cheat. I've never done it but my last long term relationship ended with her doing it, things hadn't been good for a while. Ironically a year out I think her cheating made things easier for me (knowing there was zero way back makes a clean break simpler). I'd never cheat on anyone, I'd end things first no matter the circumstances.

obstacle1 11y ago
The person you are responding to explicitly said: >If you're going to cheat Given that you are going to cheat, no, "don't cheat" is not an option.
spacemanmatt 11y ago
You can say that on an individual basis but it doesn't change the aggregate behavior of our kind.
- noir_lord 11y ago
  Very true but I still like to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with the person looking back. In a sense that's all you can do.
  - spacemanmatt 11y ago
    I gotta be able to respect the guy in the mirror, too. But there's a bit more I can do.

spacemanmatt 11y ago

Or an open relationship. There are many options people may choose.

rm_-rf_slash 11y ago
That I'm fine with as long as it's open and honest. Alternatively, there is the Japanese angle of "It's not cheating if I pay for it."
- zimpenfish 11y ago
  "Is it adultery if I'm committing it at one end of a guy and he's committing it at the other end of that same guy?" (Dan Savage, Colbert Report)
crikli 11y ago
Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters. Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people? Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but ... But it might work for us.
- spacemanmatt 11y ago
  Heh. Some people aren't up to it.
  - Karunamon 11y ago
    It requires a completely different mindset to relationships, most importantly, two people with that same completely different mindset, it's counter to most culture and how most of us were raised, but it can and does work. Also, I find interesting the survivorship (or perhaps anti-survivorship?) bias in a marital counselor talking about how a certain arrangement doesn't work.. what about all those people who never sought counseling because their relationships are happy?
- 11y ago

Fogest 11y ago

What about people who are single and using the site? People can easily lie to their significant other and cheat on them, people can also just as easily join the site without actually cheating on anyone. Also what about the people who are in a relationship and they enjoy finding other people to perform sexual acts with? They may be on the site looking for someone else but not necessarily to cheat. There are still innocent people on the site, and do they deserve to have this exposed? Have everyone, parents, bosses, etc... thinking they are a dirty cheater? No, that really isn't fair.

GFK_of_xmaspast 11y ago
If you're single, why would you go there instead of a regular dating site.
- jedberg 11y ago
  Because you're more likely to have sex on the first date, since that's what most of the people on there are looking to do.
- Fogest 11y ago
  There are many reasons, one of them being like what the other commenter mentioned, the likelihood of sex, but another one may have to do with sexual fantasies as well? Maybe they like the other person believing they are a cheater? You can't assume that the target audience of this site is the ONLY audience simply because they advertise to "cheaters".

curiousjorge 11y ago

Don't meet strangers or cheat on your SO with someone you know or work with, period. Or just break it off and find someone new, why act dishonorably and making others miserable? All in all, I don't know why people cheat if they are happily married and their spouses are great. Seems to me the risks far outweigh the rewards. Then again, I don't understand why people get married in the first place.