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Your argument is basically circular reasoning. You say the cultural attitude is based on the unambiguity of violating one's commitments. But the very amount o

Your argument is basically circular reasoning. You say the cultural attitude is based on the unambiguity of violating one's commitments. But the very amount of ambiguity and "wiggle room" we find in marital infidelity compared to corruption, torture, etc... is itself a product of American cultural standards. Culture is self-reinforcing, but you didn't explain why those standards exist, you've just shown how they get perpetuated from person to person. --- Breaking marriage vows is only a extremely clear-cut example only because the massive weight Americans put on marriage vows in the first pace. The society could put less weight on them and look at cheating in a "don't be nosey, they could have an open relationship" sort of way. Sounds crazy right? But this is closer to the level you have to look at these things. How did American society get so there was wiggle room around torture and other war crimes? Certainly those could be a "known or should have known" attitude towards prosecuting government officials, or at least becoming a disgrace with no option but to resign. We use "wiggle room" to accept a level of criminality in the politically connected class that would give a district attorney a field day if it were committed by everyday street gangs.

TheOtherHobbes 11y ago
There's no such thing as a legal open relationship. Maybe there should be. I think the world would be a happier place if people who aren't naturally monogamous didn't have to pretend to be - to themselves, or to anyone else. The space in that place is a natural sticky area for sociopaths who enjoy lying and hurting people. Making "poly" an explicit orientation would make that space smaller and save everyone a lot of confusion. But marriage is as much about property, taxes, and inheritance as it is about sex. That's the real reason it's a binary in/out yes/no state. And it's difficult to make those elements work when there are multiple people involved. That aside - yes, it definitely is weird that starting wars and torturing people gets by with a nod and a wink, but infidelity brings out the howler monkeys. I think the reason is because virtue in America is defined by heroic force projection, greedy accumulation of resources, and dominance over enemies and the weak. If you look like you're doing that, it's all fine. Having sex with people you aren't married to doesn't fit into that, so it gets big downvotes for weak self-indulgence, and - most of all - for leaving you vulnerable to a counterattack on your status and reputation.
- dsp1234 11y ago
  There's no such thing as a legal open relationship. Can you tell me which law an open relationship would be breaking in the state of Oregon?
rhino369 11y ago
>How did American society get so there was wiggle room around torture and other war crimes? The same way Europeans and the rest of the whole world justify that sort of stuff. "They are terrorists, who cares."

TheOtherHobbes 11y ago

There's no such thing as a legal open relationship. Maybe there should be. I think the world would be a happier place if people who aren't naturally monogamous didn't have to pretend to be - to themselves, or to anyone else. The space in that place is a natural sticky area for sociopaths who enjoy lying and hurting people. Making "poly" an explicit orientation would make that space smaller and save everyone a lot of confusion. But marriage is as much about property, taxes, and inheritance as it is about sex. That's the real reason it's a binary in/out yes/no state. And it's difficult to make those elements work when there are multiple people involved. That aside - yes, it definitely is weird that starting wars and torturing people gets by with a nod and a wink, but infidelity brings out the howler monkeys. I think the reason is because virtue in America is defined by heroic force projection, greedy accumulation of resources, and dominance over enemies and the weak. If you look like you're doing that, it's all fine. Having sex with people you aren't married to doesn't fit into that, so it gets big downvotes for weak self-indulgence, and - most of all - for leaving you vulnerable to a counterattack on your status and reputation.

dsp1234 11y ago
There's no such thing as a legal open relationship. Can you tell me which law an open relationship would be breaking in the state of Oregon?

rhino369 11y ago

>How did American society get so there was wiggle room around torture and other war crimes? The same way Europeans and the rest of the whole world justify that sort of stuff. "They are terrorists, who cares."