That's the crux of the problem, yeah. We're like Tolstoy's line about families: normal people are are all just normal, but geeks are all weird in ways different

That's the crux of the problem, yeah. We're like Tolstoy's line about families: normal people are are all just normal, but geeks are all weird in ways different enough to prevent us from having any kind of collective self-definition. Which leaves the job of defining who we are to others, who inevitably get it wrong.