I've had ocd for 33 years (I'm 43). I always thought I could tame it...eventually. It's as bad now as it's ever been. I live with it. I perform constant, ludicr

I've had ocd for 33 years (I'm 43). I always thought I could tame it...eventually. It's as bad now as it's ever been. I live with it. I perform constant, ludicrous rituals. I'm thankful that my SO puts up with me. It can make me a cranky, distracted sonofabitch. I try to hide it from my son. I'm not always successful. He hasn't asked me why I do weird shit like walk in and out of a room multiple times but I suspect he will. What can I say? That I know better but I can't find the will to overcome it? The best book I've read on the subject so far is The Mind and the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force by Jeffrey Schwartz.