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Perhaps I could make more sense to you by pointing out that I was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in 2004. My OCD was plainly apparent to everyone
by MichaelCrawford 11y ago
Perhaps I could make more sense to you by pointing out that I was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in 2004. My OCD was plainly apparent to everyone long before that but in 2004 I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist.
OCD is driven by anxiety; carrying out one's compulsive activities eases one's anxiety but does not eliminate it as that anxiety arises for reasons unrelated to one's compulsive behavior.
Other OCD people do stuff like straighten the fringes on their rugs or clean dirt that others cannot see.
I write.
That does have the benefit that it helps with my consultancy websites SEO and at times I can earn some coin from AdSense but it does have the disadvantage that everyone around me goes absolutely bananas if they try to read even a little bit of what I write.
I understand all too well that my writing makes me intolerable to many of those that I know in real life. Bonita compared my getting an idea for a new article or essay to an alcholic proudly announced he had scored a bottle of liquor.
I am able to learn a few things from my time with Bonita, maybe I can do better with some other lover someday.
- dang 11y agoThank you for taking the time to explain, which I imagine isn't always easy. From comments you've made in the past we know that you've struggled with mental illness and that's why I said we all wish you well. We don't judge you for it or hold it against you, and I'm confident that that's broadly true of the HN community. The issue is just a procedural one: when it becomes a problem in the threads, we have to moderate. The mandate of the site is quality over quantity, so we don't have a lot of slack.
- MichaelCrawford 11y agoIt is easy now to explain but not always easy to reach my reader. I often dont make sense to others even with my technical writing. I regard that as my own fault and so feel it is beholden upon me to find a way to enable others to understand either by editing my work or by writing new material. I once struggled to paas, that is to pass as that which I am not, but I decided to go public in part because working as a coder contributed to my recovery: Programming and Madness http://www.warplife.com/mdc/essays/mental-illness/programming.html http://www.warplife.com/mdc/essays/mental-illness/programmin... ... and in part because It is important that others understand that reality is not as concrete as it at first appears. There are many ways to induce delusion in the minds of even completely sane, rational people; I published my first web page about my manic depression in respnse to the 1997 Heaven's Gate UFO cult mass suicide in 1997. The following is version 2.0: http://www.warplife.com/mdc/books/schizoaffective-disorder/reality.html http://www.warplife.com/mdc/books/schizoaffective-disorder/r... While informed by my studies of anthropology, psychology and social psychology it also draws on my own experience with cults. The world recoiled in horror in 1997 because Heavens Gate made no sense, while I recoiled in horror because it made quite a lot of sense to me.