4 ms·

I think you've mis-read the tone, or just plain don't understand/have experience of the military mindset. This isn't a pity piece, he not expecting something f

I think you've mis-read the tone, or just plain don't understand/have experience of the military mindset. This isn't a pity piece, he not expecting something from his passengers or expecting them to wonder about him. In fact, I'd say that's the whole point of the piece - how he knows he an outsider, a nobody in a world of somebodies, a dispassionate observer, one who recognises his own lack of humanity to his charges: > A robot could do my fucking job He's grateful for the job, grateful for the lifeline and merely telling the objective story of an outsider in a different world. > Where I live, people are already dead. But at night, I pick up people with lives, and money in their pockets, places to go, things to do, people to see. And yet, he reminds us throughout that people are fuck ups no matter their monetary wealth or 'social standing': >One pick-up I had was outside a restaurant in Hayes Valley. I had my hazards on while I waited patiently, observing them passionately kiss each another. They kissed as if they were in love. It reminded me of the way I kissed, when I too was in love. Their goodbye took forever and when she finally got in my car, she pulled out her cell phone. >"Hey honey, how's it going? Oh, it was boring, I wanted to leave the whole time. How are the kids? Good... Oh, remember that one coworker I told you about? I just found out he's been sleeping with all the associates... he's married too, I like his wife... he's a good guy..." I'm sure he is. I think the piece is fascinating, not least because I've felt the sting of invisibility myself, but don't go mistaking it as a pining lament to be one of the chosen ones or that he's calling on his passengers to be his psychologist.

vacri 11y ago
> he not expecting something from his passengers That the author is passing judgement on the non-talkers shows that he is expecting something from them. Like when he talks of his Combat Infantry Badge, and the only two options available are 'not notice' or 'notice and not care'. Plenty of people would notice and care a lot, but not want to get into a discussion that they think would lead to an argument. He's basically expecting to get his ego soothed with the medal. It's a well-written piece, but he is projecting a lot of motivation onto people that doesn't necessarily exist. For example, when I catch a cab, I don't like to talk to the driver. It's not because I think they're a robot or the 'hired help' or beneath me or whatever. It's because I loathe small talk, and most cab conversations are exactly the same. There's also a fair chance of getting into a conversation with a passionate bigot, which is never fun. The last taxi I had included a generally one-sided conversation where the driver kept trying to suggest-sell a brothel visit to me. Frankly, cab conversations are just not that interesting. Bit of an aside there, but I would guess a lot of people feel the same.
- aaronem 11y ago
  > he is projecting a lot of motivation onto people that doesn't necessarily exist Oh? I'd say you're projecting a lot of motivation onto him. You're not exactly making yourself look like the most charming person in the world, either; however you excuse it, your behavior expresses contempt: Sometimes people who are rendering me a service say things that don't entirely accord with my view of an ideal world. I could learn how to politely dissuade conversational overtures I don't want to accept. Or I could actually engage in conversations that take me outside my personal comfort zone once in a while, whether to make a point or just for the hell of it. But, really, it's easier just to write off the entire category and ignore them as completely as possible, because, hey, I've got better things to do with my time than interact with people who might not measure up to my exacting standards. And, to forestall the blustery objection you're no doubt scrambling to emit: No, of course, that's not what you said. But it's what you meant. And, hey -- you just finished judging Mr. Buzzell rather harshly, based on your interpretation of what he wrote. Why in the world should you be surprised or upset at my doing the same to you?
  - vacri 11y ago
    The irony in your comment was delicious, thank you.
- crdb 11y ago
  > most cab conversations are exactly the same I know you said "most" but I have had plenty of conversations with cab drivers that I remember years into the future. Two examples: - a very elderly man picked us up in London, he was cheerful and chatty in his 1940s-war-broadcast-style accent, turns out he spent a chunk of his life as an engineer in what you might call "frontier" countries. So many stories. He had plenty of cash, but drove to chat with strangers and because he couldn't stand doing nothing. - we got picked up in Duxton Hill in Singapore by a chap in his 60s, whose tone was a lot calmer and more attentive than your average "so where you from-aaaah?" happy taxi uncle. He made two fortunes from nothing, one per Asian boom, then retired and travelled the world with his wife for a decade. He got very bored of the luxury life, and also took up driving to meet new people and collect stories about humans. Singapore being great for this. There's plenty of occasions where, if you spend a bit of attention on the driver, you unearth either life stories worth preserving and thinking about, glimpses of a completely different world, or just fun stories where you wonder how much was made up. I learnt a lot about his community in a 25 minute ride with an Indonesian driver having his 8th kid (all boys, amazingly) and working Uber in his spare time from working on oil rigs. A Polish man gave me a glimpse of the harsh life as a low-earning immigrant in a major European city, their main preoccupation in life seemed to be which alcohol to buy that was the cheapest yet still relatively drinkable. A driver was missing a couple fingers and complained about how Africans and Pakistans slept 6-aside in the cabin he used to have to himself in the "golden days" of the merchant navy (I never got the story about the fingers). He also had 6 wives in as many cities (none the one he lived in now). I'm going to miss the human drivers.
s_kilk 11y ago
>> ...don't understand/have experience of the military mindset. I think this describes where I am now. I just don't fully understand where they're coming from, because I have little experience of it. And so sometimes ex-military personnel can seem to me to be un-necessarily confrontational/combatitive in their approach to life and people. Can you (or anyone else reading this) recommend some good reading material to help understand the position of current-generation military veterans?
- toolz 11y ago
  I'm relatively confident I can, even as an outsider, give you some insight on their situation. All my closest friends were in the military in different branches even and they all shared a pretty similar story. They spend years of their life excluded to mostly just people in their team. They chant words of brotherhood and tell tales of hardships and emotional struggle. They daily reaffirm to each other that their only hope for life is to rely on their brothers inside of this team they are on. They are given uniforms, they are given mottos and they are regularly put through emotionally and physically demanding situations. This is just the training phase. The sign-up for such a job is promised acts heroism and tales for the grandkids, but then after all that hard training and attitude altering for this promised adventure, you end up sitting on your ass and doing mundane crap in another country. In an attempt to keep your dreams relevant you start making up hardships and talking about your brothers who died in combat (usually people they've barely even met) and then you come home and find out people don't think you're quite the hero you we're promised you would be. You come home and find employers pissed they had to make special accommodations for you and you come home expecting people to pat you on the back. You come home with promises of bonuses you never got because the military lied to you and the VA doesn't give a shit about you. You joined up as a bright eyed young man looking for adventure and spent so much time being fed that bullshit that when you come back home it's hard to cope with the fact so many people lied to you.
  - LanceH 11y ago
    What a load of bull shit. The above post reads like someone who never served but has read about it. Your confidence is misplaced.

vacri 11y ago

> he not expecting something from his passengers That the author is passing judgement on the non-talkers shows that he is expecting something from them. Like when he talks of his Combat Infantry Badge, and the only two options available are 'not notice' or 'notice and not care'. Plenty of people would notice and care a lot, but not want to get into a discussion that they think would lead to an argument. He's basically expecting to get his ego soothed with the medal. It's a well-written piece, but he is projecting a lot of motivation onto people that doesn't necessarily exist. For example, when I catch a cab, I don't like to talk to the driver. It's not because I think they're a robot or the 'hired help' or beneath me or whatever. It's because I loathe small talk, and most cab conversations are exactly the same. There's also a fair chance of getting into a conversation with a passionate bigot, which is never fun. The last taxi I had included a generally one-sided conversation where the driver kept trying to suggest-sell a brothel visit to me. Frankly, cab conversations are just not that interesting. Bit of an aside there, but I would guess a lot of people feel the same.

aaronem 11y ago
> he is projecting a lot of motivation onto people that doesn't necessarily exist Oh? I'd say you're projecting a lot of motivation onto him. You're not exactly making yourself look like the most charming person in the world, either; however you excuse it, your behavior expresses contempt: Sometimes people who are rendering me a service say things that don't entirely accord with my view of an ideal world. I could learn how to politely dissuade conversational overtures I don't want to accept. Or I could actually engage in conversations that take me outside my personal comfort zone once in a while, whether to make a point or just for the hell of it. But, really, it's easier just to write off the entire category and ignore them as completely as possible, because, hey, I've got better things to do with my time than interact with people who might not measure up to my exacting standards. And, to forestall the blustery objection you're no doubt scrambling to emit: No, of course, that's not what you said. But it's what you meant. And, hey -- you just finished judging Mr. Buzzell rather harshly, based on your interpretation of what he wrote. Why in the world should you be surprised or upset at my doing the same to you?
- vacri 11y ago
  The irony in your comment was delicious, thank you.
crdb 11y ago
> most cab conversations are exactly the same I know you said "most" but I have had plenty of conversations with cab drivers that I remember years into the future. Two examples: - a very elderly man picked us up in London, he was cheerful and chatty in his 1940s-war-broadcast-style accent, turns out he spent a chunk of his life as an engineer in what you might call "frontier" countries. So many stories. He had plenty of cash, but drove to chat with strangers and because he couldn't stand doing nothing. - we got picked up in Duxton Hill in Singapore by a chap in his 60s, whose tone was a lot calmer and more attentive than your average "so where you from-aaaah?" happy taxi uncle. He made two fortunes from nothing, one per Asian boom, then retired and travelled the world with his wife for a decade. He got very bored of the luxury life, and also took up driving to meet new people and collect stories about humans. Singapore being great for this. There's plenty of occasions where, if you spend a bit of attention on the driver, you unearth either life stories worth preserving and thinking about, glimpses of a completely different world, or just fun stories where you wonder how much was made up. I learnt a lot about his community in a 25 minute ride with an Indonesian driver having his 8th kid (all boys, amazingly) and working Uber in his spare time from working on oil rigs. A Polish man gave me a glimpse of the harsh life as a low-earning immigrant in a major European city, their main preoccupation in life seemed to be which alcohol to buy that was the cheapest yet still relatively drinkable. A driver was missing a couple fingers and complained about how Africans and Pakistans slept 6-aside in the cabin he used to have to himself in the "golden days" of the merchant navy (I never got the story about the fingers). He also had 6 wives in as many cities (none the one he lived in now). I'm going to miss the human drivers.

s_kilk 11y ago

>> ...don't understand/have experience of the military mindset. I think this describes where I am now. I just don't fully understand where they're coming from, because I have little experience of it. And so sometimes ex-military personnel can seem to me to be un-necessarily confrontational/combatitive in their approach to life and people. Can you (or anyone else reading this) recommend some good reading material to help understand the position of current-generation military veterans?

toolz 11y ago
I'm relatively confident I can, even as an outsider, give you some insight on their situation. All my closest friends were in the military in different branches even and they all shared a pretty similar story. They spend years of their life excluded to mostly just people in their team. They chant words of brotherhood and tell tales of hardships and emotional struggle. They daily reaffirm to each other that their only hope for life is to rely on their brothers inside of this team they are on. They are given uniforms, they are given mottos and they are regularly put through emotionally and physically demanding situations. This is just the training phase. The sign-up for such a job is promised acts heroism and tales for the grandkids, but then after all that hard training and attitude altering for this promised adventure, you end up sitting on your ass and doing mundane crap in another country. In an attempt to keep your dreams relevant you start making up hardships and talking about your brothers who died in combat (usually people they've barely even met) and then you come home and find out people don't think you're quite the hero you we're promised you would be. You come home and find employers pissed they had to make special accommodations for you and you come home expecting people to pat you on the back. You come home with promises of bonuses you never got because the military lied to you and the VA doesn't give a shit about you. You joined up as a bright eyed young man looking for adventure and spent so much time being fed that bullshit that when you come back home it's hard to cope with the fact so many people lied to you.
- LanceH 11y ago
  What a load of bull shit. The above post reads like someone who never served but has read about it. Your confidence is misplaced.