Meh. I am a bit disappointed, there is potential, but I think you could do a better job. For example, it sounds like you are really just trying to demonize Fi

Meh. I am a bit disappointed, there is potential, but I think you could do a better job. For example, it sounds like you are really just trying to demonize Fixpoint and their members, it's not very original. Note that I am not saying that there is or isn't truth in what you describe, I have no idea, but I wish you tackled this subject differently. For example, instead of focusing on the big picture, and immediately let the reader know about Stan's personality, why don't you immerse the reader into Stan's mind. Letting him know of each and every thought going through his mind, no matter how confusing (without context) or banal those thoughts are. Just food for thought, I think it could be way better than that, the subject has potential and you have good intentions. Only, the current execution is very poor and unoriginal.