4 ms·

My concern here would just be parental knowledge. I would permit my daughter to get an IUD at a young age if that was her decision regardless of our families re

My concern here would just be parental knowledge. I would permit my daughter to get an IUD at a young age if that was her decision regardless of our families religious / moral views (though I would encourage her to be informed), but if I'm responsible for her health and safety, I damn well better know what someone else is implanting in her.

DanBC 11y ago
How old until she's allowed to control her medical treatment in your opinion?
- TallGuyShort 11y ago
  I'm not saying I control her medical treatment, I'm saying I would want to be aware. If she's getting an IUD implanted without my knowledge, is she likely to come to me or her mother for help if / when she suffers a serious side-effect?
  - deleted 11y ago
    [deleted]
  - DanBC 11y ago
    Why would she go to you for medical advice?
    - TallGuyShort 11y ago
      Um... because we're her parents and we would see to it she received all the care she needed should a complication arise?
- VLM 11y ago
  Locally everything medical(ish) that isn't sex related needs 18 yrs. Everything from vaccination requiring a signed consent form and if under 18, a parent or legal guardian, to ear (or other) piercing, to tattoos. The traveling health care fair came to my employer recently and I remember pretty much "everything" required a similar boilerplate consent form, even just pricking your finger for blood sugar screening. For consistencies sake, 18 yrs sounds reasonable. If we're going to apply boilerplate almost everywhere, why not simply apply it everywhere? There is no particular reason 18 is a good age. Eighteen and a day passes for all medical decisions but weirdly enough not to drink a simple beer, and some states have really weird legislation about exactly which vegetation is permitted to possess / smoke. Somewhere in the range of 13 to 22 for all of the above sounds about right.
  - DanBC 11y ago
    You don't think age of consent for sexual activity would be a useful age? In England we have Gillick and Fraser competence. http://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-protection-system/legal-definition-child-rights-law/gillick-competency-fraser-guidelines/ http://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-protection-sy...
    - TallGuyShort 11y ago
      Those Fraser guidelines seem very sensible, IMO - I had not seem them before. My concern is motivated by the fact that in my experience with sex-ed programs in both Colorado and New Zealand, I witnessed the role of parents being actively undermined (a practice which those guidelines would seem to discourage). Sure, some people are shitty parents, and if my daughter is seeking such advice behind my back, maybe it's just because she should be able to, maybe it's because I'm already failing in parental responsibilities. But when I've heard the phrase "don't tell your parents about this" from multiple school officials as a student, I as a parent start being very concerned about whether or not government employees who are in a position to council students are generally going to follow the procedure, and actually encourage children to keep their parents in the loop when making serious decisions.
    - TallGuyShort 11y ago
      Those Fraser guidelines seem very sensible, IMO - I had not seem them before. My concern is motivated by the fact that in my experience with sex-ed programs in both Colorado and New Zealand, I witnessed the role of parents being actively undermined (a practice which those guidelines would seem to discourage). Sure, some people are shitty parents, and if my daughter is seeking such advice behind my back, maybe it's just because she should be able to, maybe it's because I'm already failing in parental responsibilities. But when I've heard the phrase "don't tell your parents about this" from multiple school officials as a student, I as a parent start being very concerned about whether or not government employees who are in a position to council students are generally going to follow official, reviewed procedure or go off on their own agenda. +1 to those guidelines.
    - Lawtonfogle 11y ago
- Lawtonfogle 11y ago
  How old until she is allowed to make her own choices as to who her sexual partner is? 18 seems to be the answer (most states are under 18, but if it crossed state lines it is upped to 18 as the federal law is 18).
mikeash 11y ago
That's fair. But there are a lot of parents who would become deeply upset if they found out that their daughter had an IUD. A requirement to inform parents would therefore greatly decrease usage rates, and would effectively add an asterisk to the program that you're only allowed to participate with parental consent. (With the double-asterisk that parental consent isn't required if you're willing to defy them.) It's a tough choice to make, but I would say that your right to know is less important than a young woman's access to good contraception in the face of parental disapproval.

DanBC 11y ago

How old until she's allowed to control her medical treatment in your opinion?

TallGuyShort 11y ago
I'm not saying I control her medical treatment, I'm saying I would want to be aware. If she's getting an IUD implanted without my knowledge, is she likely to come to me or her mother for help if / when she suffers a serious side-effect?
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- DanBC 11y ago
  Why would she go to you for medical advice?
  - TallGuyShort 11y ago
    Um... because we're her parents and we would see to it she received all the care she needed should a complication arise?
VLM 11y ago
Locally everything medical(ish) that isn't sex related needs 18 yrs. Everything from vaccination requiring a signed consent form and if under 18, a parent or legal guardian, to ear (or other) piercing, to tattoos. The traveling health care fair came to my employer recently and I remember pretty much "everything" required a similar boilerplate consent form, even just pricking your finger for blood sugar screening. For consistencies sake, 18 yrs sounds reasonable. If we're going to apply boilerplate almost everywhere, why not simply apply it everywhere? There is no particular reason 18 is a good age. Eighteen and a day passes for all medical decisions but weirdly enough not to drink a simple beer, and some states have really weird legislation about exactly which vegetation is permitted to possess / smoke. Somewhere in the range of 13 to 22 for all of the above sounds about right.
- DanBC 11y ago
  You don't think age of consent for sexual activity would be a useful age? In England we have Gillick and Fraser competence. http://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-protection-system/legal-definition-child-rights-law/gillick-competency-fraser-guidelines/ http://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-protection-sy...
  - TallGuyShort 11y ago
    Those Fraser guidelines seem very sensible, IMO - I had not seem them before. My concern is motivated by the fact that in my experience with sex-ed programs in both Colorado and New Zealand, I witnessed the role of parents being actively undermined (a practice which those guidelines would seem to discourage). Sure, some people are shitty parents, and if my daughter is seeking such advice behind my back, maybe it's just because she should be able to, maybe it's because I'm already failing in parental responsibilities. But when I've heard the phrase "don't tell your parents about this" from multiple school officials as a student, I as a parent start being very concerned about whether or not government employees who are in a position to council students are generally going to follow the procedure, and actually encourage children to keep their parents in the loop when making serious decisions.
  - TallGuyShort 11y ago
    Those Fraser guidelines seem very sensible, IMO - I had not seem them before. My concern is motivated by the fact that in my experience with sex-ed programs in both Colorado and New Zealand, I witnessed the role of parents being actively undermined (a practice which those guidelines would seem to discourage). Sure, some people are shitty parents, and if my daughter is seeking such advice behind my back, maybe it's just because she should be able to, maybe it's because I'm already failing in parental responsibilities. But when I've heard the phrase "don't tell your parents about this" from multiple school officials as a student, I as a parent start being very concerned about whether or not government employees who are in a position to council students are generally going to follow official, reviewed procedure or go off on their own agenda. +1 to those guidelines.
  - Lawtonfogle 11y ago
Lawtonfogle 11y ago
How old until she is allowed to make her own choices as to who her sexual partner is? 18 seems to be the answer (most states are under 18, but if it crossed state lines it is upped to 18 as the federal law is 18).

mikeash 11y ago

That's fair. But there are a lot of parents who would become deeply upset if they found out that their daughter had an IUD. A requirement to inform parents would therefore greatly decrease usage rates, and would effectively add an asterisk to the program that you're only allowed to participate with parental consent. (With the double-asterisk that parental consent isn't required if you're willing to defy them.) It's a tough choice to make, but I would say that your right to know is less important than a young woman's access to good contraception in the face of parental disapproval.