When I was younger (I'm 45), lithium itself was synonymous with "really crazy." It no longer seems to be regarded quite so negatively. I had a bad reaction to

When I was younger (I'm 45), lithium itself was synonymous with "really crazy." It no longer seems to be regarded quite so negatively. I had a bad reaction to it ("zombification," as we call it), but it has clearly helped so many. Over my lifetime, depression has become something you can talk about without too much stigma (though perhaps not completely), but these other illnesses have a long way to go. "My boss is bipolar." "The weather is bipolar." OCD is similarly treated like a big joke, and not the devastating illness it can be. I wish I could explain to people what it's like to be bipolar. The biggest problem you have is that the feelings of hopelessness, exhaustion, and despair seem to you to be caused by a lack of hope, laziness, and the fact that everything is dark. The feelings of elation, invincibility, the thought that you've "figured it all out, and all the energy just mean that things are going really well -- maybe that you're not bipolar at all! And if you're experiencing "negative mania" (angry, irritable, etc.), well, then it's whatever in front of you that's causing that, not your brain. And this is coming from someone who knows they have this illness. You just can't see it while you're having it. It's only when it's over that you finally see how screwed up you were, and for many people, there are jobs, relationships, and finances left in ruins for you to sort through. What's worst of all is that even the people closest to you can have a lot of trouble understanding it. Why can't you just snap out of it? Get out of bed? Why can't you see that that project is, um, a little nuts? But we just can't. And then even when the medication works, we live in constant fear that it's going to come around again. A lot of us are deeply traumatized by manic episodes (it only takes one). It's like we're watching and waiting for it to happen again. "I feel fine now (or do I)?" The end of that article really gets to the heart of that last bit. Totally heartbreaking.