Don't worry about the girlfriend thing. That will fix itself if you fix all the other shit. Go and get another job as a statistician - by this I do not mean ap

Don't worry about the girlfriend thing. That will fix itself if you fix all the other shit. Go and get another job as a statistician - by this I do not mean applying for them. Work out where you want to work (ish), find some excuse to get to know people there and just talk about coming to work for them. Is there an annual "stats in the advertising industry" conference? Go there, pay attention, talk to people about stats. Pretty quickly, if you know your shit, doors will start to open. I got a job offer off a usenet post once. When it does get to the point where you're physically in their building and talking about whether or not you could come to work for them, fess up. "You should know I've made some mistakes in my past and ... my legal record shows this ... I want you to know before you find out". Voila. Do the full Trainspotting thing - washing machine, big fucking TV etc. Then meet some women and just be nice. Problem solved, I guarantee it.