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Civil face to face relations and at the same time "uncivil" communication via email. I've lately been experiencing this at my work place. Face to face, people

Civil face to face relations and at the same time "uncivil" communication via email. I've lately been experiencing this at my work place. Face to face, people are all really civil to each other, assertive, giving objective feedback and collaborating really well to get work done. However when things move to the written form (email mostly) things can quickly escalate into finger pointing and the blame game. Anyone got thoughts on what would pressure us to act this way?

psykovsky 11y ago
You are all a bunch of pussies who's afraid of talking face to face but go all Rambo when you got computers and network cables between you?
- glaberficken 11y ago
  lol, nice comment. I think it might have something to do with this: When you are face to face, the interaction tends to be 1 on 1 or involve a small number of people you work with day to day, there's a mutual benefit in having a healthy non violent, relationship (you are happier day to day if you are not an asshole towards others because on average they tend to respond in kind, by not being assholes either). On the written channel, typically there are a lot more stakeholders in Cc (can include clients, managers higher in the hierarchy, people from other departments) and everyone feels more pressure to save face regarding mistakes or delays in work being done etc. Also because email is usually the record that counts once responsibilities for a work outcome is attributed.
  - psykovsky 11y ago
    eheheheheheh Bit of a tongue-in-cheek comment. Not calling you a pussie, but what you described is what we see everyday in the world wild web. I suppose it isn't any different on a work setting.
    - glaberficken 11y ago
      btw I didn't flag your comment, I thought it was funny =)
awinder 11y ago
One of the more insidious ways that reading books / training up on management or being civil is when people understand the high level message and can relate to some of the individual strategies without personally embracing the ideology. So when you're face to face with other people, you can recall strategies of being civil, you play the part, but deep down the message hasn't been really been fully embraced. All it takes is a situation where strong social cues have been removed (electronic communication) and you're unable to notice that the situation requires care and involves other human beings, and you see a lot of reverting to old, poor habits. One very skin-deep method to help out there is to create a strong culture around not having endless email discussions and knowing when to take things "off-line". Close, personal communication with care and compromise is how disputes get amicably resolved, and the impersonality of email leads to sides just wanting to be told "You are right, I am wrong". Which is a situation that will never, ever, ever happen.

psykovsky 11y ago

You are all a bunch of pussies who's afraid of talking face to face but go all Rambo when you got computers and network cables between you?

glaberficken 11y ago
lol, nice comment. I think it might have something to do with this: When you are face to face, the interaction tends to be 1 on 1 or involve a small number of people you work with day to day, there's a mutual benefit in having a healthy non violent, relationship (you are happier day to day if you are not an asshole towards others because on average they tend to respond in kind, by not being assholes either). On the written channel, typically there are a lot more stakeholders in Cc (can include clients, managers higher in the hierarchy, people from other departments) and everyone feels more pressure to save face regarding mistakes or delays in work being done etc. Also because email is usually the record that counts once responsibilities for a work outcome is attributed.
- psykovsky 11y ago
  eheheheheheh Bit of a tongue-in-cheek comment. Not calling you a pussie, but what you described is what we see everyday in the world wild web. I suppose it isn't any different on a work setting.
  - glaberficken 11y ago
    btw I didn't flag your comment, I thought it was funny =)

awinder 11y ago

One of the more insidious ways that reading books / training up on management or being civil is when people understand the high level message and can relate to some of the individual strategies without personally embracing the ideology. So when you're face to face with other people, you can recall strategies of being civil, you play the part, but deep down the message hasn't been really been fully embraced. All it takes is a situation where strong social cues have been removed (electronic communication) and you're unable to notice that the situation requires care and involves other human beings, and you see a lot of reverting to old, poor habits. One very skin-deep method to help out there is to create a strong culture around not having endless email discussions and knowing when to take things "off-line". Close, personal communication with care and compromise is how disputes get amicably resolved, and the impersonality of email leads to sides just wanting to be told "You are right, I am wrong". Which is a situation that will never, ever, ever happen.