You provided a lot of details about what's happening, but not a lot of details about what's going wrong (the emotions)... so I'm not sure if this will apply to

You provided a lot of details about what's happening, but not a lot of details about what's going wrong (the emotions)... so I'm not sure if this will apply to you, but I'm going to say it in the hope it'll be useful to someone: The goal of programming isn't that you perform flawlessly, the goal of programming is to have fun while building something that performs well. To put that another way: It doesn't matter how many mistakes you make while coding, what matters is that you eventually build something that works. Lean on test cases, write drafts that don't work, say dumb things. It's great. It's learning. Find the flaws, and then fix them -- mistakes don't matter as long as you remove them before shipping the code... and spotting errors seems to be something you're good at :p