14 ms·

A lot of women, when asked what they're looking for in a male partner say they really desire someone who is funny. Obviously, it's generally more enjoyable to b

A lot of women, when asked what they're looking for in a male partner say they really desire someone who is funny. Obviously, it's generally more enjoyable to be around a funny person than a boring one, but could it also be that funnyness/humor, being an important trait in parenting, is being selected for that reason? Very fascinating.

swasheck 11y ago
that's a potentially interesting link. i hadn't thought of that.
humanrebar 11y ago
> it's generally more enjoyable to be around a funny person than a boring one Being consistently funny requires some amount of intelligence, creativity, and self-confidence. All of those things are good qualities in a husband and father. It's possible that humor adds more above and beyond those qualities, but I'm skeptical that a study could separate the effects of those other qualities.
- drzaiusapelord 11y ago
  >Being consistently funny requires some amount of intelligence, creativity, and self-confidence. Considering most "funny people" engage in low effort puns or just ape what they hear on TV or the internet, I'm not so sure of that. I guess the potential mother's taste in humor is important here.
  - spiritplumber 11y ago
    That still requires the confidence to give it a go, though.
    - kelukelugames 11y ago
      Or obliviousness. http://www.theonion.com/article/courageous-man-overcomes-womans-body-language-to-c-38152 http://www.theonion.com/article/courageous-man-overcomes-wom...
    - drzaiusapelord 11y ago
      There's a difference between socially blind fueled arrogance and legitimate confidence. Considering many women complain about arrogant men and geek/bro culture, well, I don't think quoting Monty Python endlessly projects an air of confidence. In fact, it probably does the opposite.
  - sergiotapia 11y ago
    Despite what tumblr would have you believe, most people are not like this.
    - drzaiusapelord 11y ago
      No but everyone's "funny friend" is. I find humor to actually be a rare talent. Maybe very rare. How many Jon Stewarts are out there per million people? I wonder if the copying a lot of young men do (endlessly quoting movies and such) is some kind of evolutionary trick to come off as funny or smart, like a bird fluffing its feathers to come off as a larger and stronger potential mate. Yeah, that's pretty reductionist, but it really makes you wonder why this behavior is so common. Past "mating age" its insufferable if someone does it.
      - ZeroGravitas 11y ago
        I've read a few (auto-)biographies of famous comedians, and the rote memorisation and repitition of their comedy heroes' routines comes up a lot. Not to say everyone quoting famous lines is a genius but it doesn't rule it out.
      - maratd 11y ago
        > No but everyone's "funny friend" is. Women aren't looking for comedians. They're looking for men who can still smile when everything around them is turning to shit. So if you can crack a joke when the waiter brings you raw chicken, rather than screaming your head off and threatening to sue, that's the kind of funny a woman wants.
        drzaiusapelord 11y ago
        I think temperament and humor are two different things. When someone says, "I like people who make me laugh" they aren't really talking about not losing their shit when the waiter brings the wrong thing. They literally mean laughing. Considering so many entertainers are horrible primadonnas and massivly self-entitled, I doubt being good at humor has anyting to do with temperament, compassion, empathy, etc.
  - __z 11y ago
    >low effort puns But I LOVE low effort puns! They make me laugh every time!
alashley 11y ago
It also takes a fairly smart person to be genuinely funny, I think. The easiest types of humor to emulate are crude humor, sarcastic humor, and physical humor/comedy. But to be genuinely funny in a way that isn't overtly insulting to anyone takes some smarts, so maybe that's part of it too.
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- samstave 11y ago
  I have three daughters, the youngest of which I perceive thus far to be the smartest (they are all really smart) but what was interesting was that she was doing physical comedy far before she could speak or walk. Basically making initiating funny body movements seeking us to mirror her and to do coy little hide and seek games. Not only is it terribly cute, seeing her think up funny games like this to play and watching how she giggles and laughs is really interesting to see how it expresses her personality when she can't even formulate words yet.
  - voidlogic 11y ago
    >the youngest of which I perceive thus far to be the smartest With everything in the Internet existing forever, I would never post something like this for them to find later.
    - samstave 11y ago
      They are all brilliant, its just that the earliest I have seen any of them exhibit these comedic playfulness is in the youngest. It may be due to having two other siblings to observe and see playing and doing stuff.
      - MisterBastahrd 11y ago
        That's probably closer to the truth. My 9 year old nephew was more mature than his sibling and cousin because his interaction was almost entirely with adults, but his 2 year old brother is WAY ahead verbally at the same age because he interacts with his older brother ALL the time.
OneOneOneOne 11y ago
In addition to intelligence I think humor has to with rapport. A good comedian will change his jokes and delivery based on audience.
breadbox 11y ago
I doubt you have to dig that far down to find a reason. Just think of the kind of person that gets described as "humorless". Then imagine marrying one of them. Women aren't thinking about their hypothetical future children; they're thinking about not hating their own lives in six months.
- smorrow 11y ago
  If that were the sole reason, then men would be looking for women that are funny, too. They're not, so there's more to it than that.
maratd 11y ago
That's not it. Being "funny" is actually a great screening test for being "happy". Try to be genuinely funny when you're miserable. You can't. Not let's crack a joke you read on the internet funny, but say something that's actually funny and in good humor when something isn't going right. That's genuine humor and that's what women are looking for. It's impossible to do it when you're miserable. Women are just screening for happy, successful men.
- alashley 11y ago
  So, to put it in broader terms, they're looking for resilience? Conversely, I think a lot of men are looking for the same thing too, we all know that not every day is "butterflies and rainbows," so its nice to have that person who is even-keeled in spite of the pressures of work, the screaming babies, etc.
- exstudent2 11y ago
  I don't know if that's true. Comedians are notoriously unhappy and it's fairly well known that suffering can lead to comedy and the class clown is hiding their inner pain. cf: Catch-22, interviews with comedians.
  - maratd 11y ago
    You and a few others made the same comment. Comedians are professionals who read a prepared script. All of them. I was talking about genuine, spontaneous humor. Not in a setting where you're acting and where others know you're acting. Not when there's an audience. Spontaneously funny about bad things happening in real-time, in real-life, in a personal setting. Even really good unhappy comedians would have a hard time with that one.
    - dasil003 11y ago
      > Comedians are professionals who read a prepared script. All of them. Wow you sure know a lot of things. Can I subscribe to your newsletter?
    - 11y ago
analyst74 11y ago
You shouldn't take what people say in dating too literally, both guys and girls, but especially girls. I'm no expert, but there can be all sorts of reason why any specific girl say that. - she means it as someone who don't take life too seriously - saying she is looking for someone handsome/rich sounds too shallow - she means some particular types of funny, probably not including the clown type - she means someone who can talk to her on the same level - she wants that because that's what all other girls claim to want

swasheck 11y ago

that's a potentially interesting link. i hadn't thought of that.

humanrebar 11y ago

> it's generally more enjoyable to be around a funny person than a boring one Being consistently funny requires some amount of intelligence, creativity, and self-confidence. All of those things are good qualities in a husband and father. It's possible that humor adds more above and beyond those qualities, but I'm skeptical that a study could separate the effects of those other qualities.

drzaiusapelord 11y ago
>Being consistently funny requires some amount of intelligence, creativity, and self-confidence. Considering most "funny people" engage in low effort puns or just ape what they hear on TV or the internet, I'm not so sure of that. I guess the potential mother's taste in humor is important here.
- spiritplumber 11y ago
  That still requires the confidence to give it a go, though.
  - kelukelugames 11y ago
    Or obliviousness. http://www.theonion.com/article/courageous-man-overcomes-womans-body-language-to-c-38152 http://www.theonion.com/article/courageous-man-overcomes-wom...
  - drzaiusapelord 11y ago
    There's a difference between socially blind fueled arrogance and legitimate confidence. Considering many women complain about arrogant men and geek/bro culture, well, I don't think quoting Monty Python endlessly projects an air of confidence. In fact, it probably does the opposite.
- sergiotapia 11y ago
  Despite what tumblr would have you believe, most people are not like this.
  - drzaiusapelord 11y ago
    No but everyone's "funny friend" is. I find humor to actually be a rare talent. Maybe very rare. How many Jon Stewarts are out there per million people? I wonder if the copying a lot of young men do (endlessly quoting movies and such) is some kind of evolutionary trick to come off as funny or smart, like a bird fluffing its feathers to come off as a larger and stronger potential mate. Yeah, that's pretty reductionist, but it really makes you wonder why this behavior is so common. Past "mating age" its insufferable if someone does it.
    - ZeroGravitas 11y ago
      I've read a few (auto-)biographies of famous comedians, and the rote memorisation and repitition of their comedy heroes' routines comes up a lot. Not to say everyone quoting famous lines is a genius but it doesn't rule it out.
    - maratd 11y ago
      > No but everyone's "funny friend" is. Women aren't looking for comedians. They're looking for men who can still smile when everything around them is turning to shit. So if you can crack a joke when the waiter brings you raw chicken, rather than screaming your head off and threatening to sue, that's the kind of funny a woman wants.
      - drzaiusapelord 11y ago
        I think temperament and humor are two different things. When someone says, "I like people who make me laugh" they aren't really talking about not losing their shit when the waiter brings the wrong thing. They literally mean laughing. Considering so many entertainers are horrible primadonnas and massivly self-entitled, I doubt being good at humor has anyting to do with temperament, compassion, empathy, etc.
- __z 11y ago
  >low effort puns But I LOVE low effort puns! They make me laugh every time!

alashley 11y ago

It also takes a fairly smart person to be genuinely funny, I think. The easiest types of humor to emulate are crude humor, sarcastic humor, and physical humor/comedy. But to be genuinely funny in a way that isn't overtly insulting to anyone takes some smarts, so maybe that's part of it too.

deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
samstave 11y ago
I have three daughters, the youngest of which I perceive thus far to be the smartest (they are all really smart) but what was interesting was that she was doing physical comedy far before she could speak or walk. Basically making initiating funny body movements seeking us to mirror her and to do coy little hide and seek games. Not only is it terribly cute, seeing her think up funny games like this to play and watching how she giggles and laughs is really interesting to see how it expresses her personality when she can't even formulate words yet.
- voidlogic 11y ago
  >the youngest of which I perceive thus far to be the smartest With everything in the Internet existing forever, I would never post something like this for them to find later.
  - samstave 11y ago
    They are all brilliant, its just that the earliest I have seen any of them exhibit these comedic playfulness is in the youngest. It may be due to having two other siblings to observe and see playing and doing stuff.
    - MisterBastahrd 11y ago
      That's probably closer to the truth. My 9 year old nephew was more mature than his sibling and cousin because his interaction was almost entirely with adults, but his 2 year old brother is WAY ahead verbally at the same age because he interacts with his older brother ALL the time.

OneOneOneOne 11y ago

In addition to intelligence I think humor has to with rapport. A good comedian will change his jokes and delivery based on audience.

breadbox 11y ago

I doubt you have to dig that far down to find a reason. Just think of the kind of person that gets described as "humorless". Then imagine marrying one of them. Women aren't thinking about their hypothetical future children; they're thinking about not hating their own lives in six months.

smorrow 11y ago
If that were the sole reason, then men would be looking for women that are funny, too. They're not, so there's more to it than that.

maratd 11y ago

That's not it. Being "funny" is actually a great screening test for being "happy". Try to be genuinely funny when you're miserable. You can't. Not let's crack a joke you read on the internet funny, but say something that's actually funny and in good humor when something isn't going right. That's genuine humor and that's what women are looking for. It's impossible to do it when you're miserable. Women are just screening for happy, successful men.

alashley 11y ago
So, to put it in broader terms, they're looking for resilience? Conversely, I think a lot of men are looking for the same thing too, we all know that not every day is "butterflies and rainbows," so its nice to have that person who is even-keeled in spite of the pressures of work, the screaming babies, etc.
exstudent2 11y ago
I don't know if that's true. Comedians are notoriously unhappy and it's fairly well known that suffering can lead to comedy and the class clown is hiding their inner pain. cf: Catch-22, interviews with comedians.
- maratd 11y ago
  You and a few others made the same comment. Comedians are professionals who read a prepared script. All of them. I was talking about genuine, spontaneous humor. Not in a setting where you're acting and where others know you're acting. Not when there's an audience. Spontaneously funny about bad things happening in real-time, in real-life, in a personal setting. Even really good unhappy comedians would have a hard time with that one.
  - dasil003 11y ago
    > Comedians are professionals who read a prepared script. All of them. Wow you sure know a lot of things. Can I subscribe to your newsletter?
  - 11y ago

analyst74 11y ago

You shouldn't take what people say in dating too literally, both guys and girls, but especially girls. I'm no expert, but there can be all sorts of reason why any specific girl say that. - she means it as someone who don't take life too seriously - saying she is looking for someone handsome/rich sounds too shallow - she means some particular types of funny, probably not including the clown type - she means someone who can talk to her on the same level - she wants that because that's what all other girls claim to want